Author so gutted Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 You are replying to his texts? When is the last time you actually laid eyes on this guy, in the flesh? 16 days ago for a quick 30 mins on route.
MidwestUSA Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 16 days ago for a quick 30 mins on route. Give yourself the best early Christmas gift ever. Go no contact. Today. He has no intention of marrying you, and there is no engagement ring. Not sure what it's going to take for you to believe that. Look for him to try to get you to invest some money, maybe a payment on the ring. "I'll pay you back as soon as I can. Promise". You're not a victim, you're a willing participant.
winny Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I was supposed to meet him today, I asked to meet as the texts were gerting too much. We were supposed to meet today at a set time, he is still with Clients. Its always the same. I feel he is either a serial liar or very busy and successful. He did say he had meetings and they may overrun but its always the same. Why text each morning for 4 months, promise marriage and tell me he has a engagement ring on order yet too busy to see me? I'm obviously clinging onto hope here. To start with we had a few good dates, now he is too busy to do anything but promise. Totally stupid of me but i never learn. A very good con artist. Have you met his family or friends? Do they know about this marriage proposal? Do you know where he works?
GorillaTheater Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Just so everybody is clear, this guy started talking about marriage after no more than 3 dates. And it's not real clear whether they've been on more than 3-or-so dates since then. There's plenty of disfunction to go around in this "relationship".
Author so gutted Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Have you met his family or friends? Do they know about this marriage proposal? Do you know where he works? Met 2 of his friends. Have a link to his website but it doesnt mention him. This is serious, he has talked a lot (face to face also) about marriage and a future and his proposal on valentines day. Why dont you all get it? He has built up such a believable scenario that i cannot help but hope. If he was conning me, why isnt he meeting to validate the con? He has never asked where i work etc so how can he con me? Why is he doing this? Creating a fantasy relationship? I wanted to meet to clarify and get closure. Instead i get texts.
winny Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Just so everybody is clear, this guy started talking about marriage after no more than 3 dates. And it's not real clear whether they've been on more than 3-or-so dates since then. There's plenty of disfunction to go around in this "relationship". Went back and checked her other thread. And you seem to be right. Please DO NOT consider marriage with this guy or any other guy after 3 dates. Even if he says he is thinking about marriage, and you want it too... do not haste. Take it slow. Right now in this scenario, you have to tell him that... You have to take things slow as far as marriage is concerned. You are still getting to know him. Also, until and unless he makes it up to you for all this time when he couldn't meet you, you cannot even begin thinking about a commitment. Let alone saying yes to a marriage proposal, for which you are yet to see a ring! And meanwhile please do some background research on this person. If he doesn't start making it up to you in this week itself... please go no contact this weekend. Don't think that there wouldn't be anyone else so you will settle with the first guy who mentions marriage. Never think that way coz it will make you take wrong decisions. It's better to be single than get involved with wrong guys.
Minneloa Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Wasn't his request that you invest thousands of dollars with his friend enough to scare you away? I don't understand why you are still talking to this man. I mean, all the evidence points to con artist! 2
winny Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Met 2 of his friends. Have a link to his website but it doesnt mention him. This is serious, he has talked a lot (face to face also) about marriage and a future and his proposal on valentines day. Why dont you all get it? He has built up such a believable scenario that i cannot help but hope. If he was conning me, why isnt he meeting to validate the con? He has never asked where i work etc so how can he con me? Why is he doing this? Creating a fantasy relationship? I wanted to meet to clarify and get closure. Instead i get texts. Hoping is fine but please gather enough information about this person since it is question of your life. And no thinking about marriage unless he actually gives a ring and makes it up to you.
winny Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Wasn't his request that you invest thousands of dollars with his friend enough to scare you away? I don't understand why you are still talking to this man. I mean, all the evidence points to con artist! Oh boy!!! This is serious.
MidwestUSA Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Wasn't his request that you invest thousands of dollars with his friend enough to scare you away? I don't understand why you are still talking to this man. I mean, all the evidence points to con artist! Yes, and he's very likely to do it again. Hence the daily contact via text, with no real emotional investment, ie, no relationship. The engagement ring is a dangling carrot. OP, you say he's built up a 'believable' scenario, so you have hope. We're trying to tell you the opposite; he's shown you absolutely NOTHING to back up his claims. Borrowing an expensive car does not count!
Author so gutted Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Yes, and he's very likely to do it again. Hence the daily contact via text, with no real emotional investment, ie, no relationship. The engagement ring is a dangling carrot. OP, you say he's built up a 'believable' scenario, so you have hope. We're trying to tell you the opposite; he's shown you absolutely NOTHING to back up his claims. Borrowing an expensive car does not count! Yes and he has avoided an invite to his house. I told him that due to past mistakes, i feel uncomfortable not seeing his house etc. he said you will but has not invited me. I have met his friends, but they could be part of it. You are not seeing the promises, the convincinf. Its hard to switch off, im trying. A con artists tricks, chose a childbearing single woman,
Minneloa Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I don't understand. This situation is beyond shady and sketchy. What are you getting from this man except a bunch of empty promises and excuses, along with the HUGE RED FLAG of an actual request for funds? With all due respect, where is your dignity?
odin673 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Why don't you just have a child on your own. I'm not familiar with all the details, but you shouldn't have any trouble getting sperm from a sperm bank. It's better than dating with the "I must hook a man quick" mentality.
scorpiogirl Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Not sure what more people can say to you. There's nothing believable in anything this guy says. You're desperate and he saw you coming a mile away. I'm 36 and happily single. Why would I let anyone treat me like crap just to be with someone. Seriously. After all the advice people give and you're continuing this crap fest, you deserve what's coming to you. But please don't come here and whine about it. You've been warned and you ignore all of them.
Author so gutted Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Why don't you just have a child on your own. I'm not familiar with all the details, but you shouldn't have any trouble getting sperm from a sperm bank. It's better than dating with the "I must hook a man quick" mentality. Thank you - a good idea but culturally it would not be acceptable and the child would be treated like a leper.
odin673 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Thank you - a good idea but culturally it would not be acceptable and the child would be treated like a leper. Just out of curiosity, what country do you live in?
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Its just got worse. He rang yesterday, sweet as sugar full of promises for marriage. Then he dropped the bombshell, he suggested ( strongly) that I "invest 2/3 thousand" with his mate and triple it in 6 weeks. No paperwork, just trust. Apparently its good for me, will enrich my life. I had this before, an outright loan. Never going there again. This is what it led up to... I am sorry but I don't for one minute believe this thread. It is too unbelievable to be real. Nice try though! 1
Author so gutted Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 I have ignored 6 texts today. I feel mean. He is still maintaining that he is with his clients? All day since 6 am? Maybe he is really doing shift (manual) work?
Author so gutted Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 What were the contents of those texts? Good morning/miss you etc etc Hope your ok No calls to say sorry. No chance of me asking him What he is playing at. No closure.
veggirl Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 Did you give him money? and what does he do for a living that he needs to ask a woman he has been on 3 dates with for money?
Author so gutted Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 Did you give him money? and what does he do for a living that he needs to ask a woman he has been on 3 dates with for money? I gave him a small amount as he kept going on. This is it, i am not 100% sure. He has a website but it doesnt name him. We spoke yesterday, he said he is spending time with clients so that he makes money for us to have a comfortable life. He begrudgingly said sorry we couldnt meet ( but he did warn me he would be with clients). If he is conning me, what is he getting? Egging me on, it cannot be the money as it was a small amount. He has spent x8 that on earlier dates.
Minneloa Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I gave him a small amount as he kept going on. This is it, i am not 100% sure. He has a website but it doesnt name him. We spoke yesterday, he said he is spending time with clients so that he makes money for us to have a comfortable life. He begrudgingly said sorry we couldnt meet ( but he did warn me he would be with clients). If he is conning me, what is he getting? Egging me on, it cannot be the money as it was a small amount. He has spent x8 that on earlier dates. I do not understand why you continue to engage with this man. I am honestly baffled. You ask what he is getting; my question is, what are *you* getting?
Author so gutted Posted December 28, 2013 Author Posted December 28, 2013 I did not buy him a xmas present and he has gone quiet. When I last brought hima birthday present he reacted badly, hence no gift. His xmas gift to me was scent worth $45 ( i thought it was a designer bag worth $1500). He sort of slaps me half playfully on myback and it hurts.... Thr worst thing, I really feel ashamed to admit (oh how I have fallen) is his very very very bad spelling. I feel ashamed he is illiterate, how bad is this. He is now quiet, I feel nothing. I think Ican sit quiet and hopefully he will disappear. Uneducated, ill mannered and not a nice person. I feel cheapened.
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