clia Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 We have had 5 dates over 3 months and he contacts me every day at least 3 times. Hold the phone. On September 7, when you started this thread, you had been on three dates with him. It's now two months later and you've only been on two more dates? Honey, move on. This ship left the harbor ages ago. I don't care how often he is texting you, it is a complete and utter waste of your time. If he was interested in you, he would want to see you. That's what dating is all about.
Zahara Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 We have had 5 dates over 3 months and he contacts me every day at least 3 times. 5 dates in 3 months? Ouch. And this is the guy that wants to marry you and have babies? He hasn't even bothered to see you in a month. You don't get to know someone just because you talk on the phone 3 times a day. Any clown can tell you what you want to hear on the phone without ever showing you who they really are in the flesh. Or are you talking about texting? Even worse.
tlegend Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 We have had 5 dates over 3 months and he contacts me every day at least 3 times. You are having people of both genders relate to your experience and give advice pertaining to theirs. You have chosen not to heed their advice and stubbornly stick up for someone who everyone else is telling you isn't along for the long haul. I'm not sure what you are expecting to hear coming from the continuation of this thread, so I will leave you with this: Do what you want. Good luck.
Author so gutted Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 You are having people of both genders relate to your experience and give advice pertaining to theirs. You have chosen not to heed their advice and stubbornly stick up for someone who everyone else is telling you isn't along for the long haul. I'm not sure what you are expecting to hear coming from the continuation of this thread, so I will leave you with this: Do what you want. Good luck. I am listening to you all.
Zahara Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I am listening to you all. Listening but not registering and using the advice to move on. Nine pages of advice and you're still waiting around for him.
tlegend Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Listening but not registering and using the advice to move on. Nine pages of advice and you're still waiting around for him. Might I add.....and 2 months later? You aren't getting any younger honey.
Zahara Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Might I add.....and 2 months later? You aren't getting any younger honey. And that, 2 months of piddly texts, calls and 1.5 date(s).
Author so gutted Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 And that, 2 months of piddly texts, calls and 1.5 date(s). So - i let him off?
Phantom888 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Are you sure he isn't married? He seems to have lots to hide. A man who would not invite you over, yet wants a future with you? Classic double-life. If he were serious about you, he would cross oceans for you. My woman and I couldn't see each other for 10 days early in our relationship, and it drove me INSANE! This guy is lying to you. Excuses are bad this early on. 2
tlegend Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 so - i let him off? yes..................... 1
Author so gutted Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 Are you sure he isn't married? He seems to have lots to hide. A man who would not invite you over, yet wants a future with you? Classic double-life. If he were serious about you, he would cross oceans for you. My woman and I couldn't see each other for 10 days early in our relationship, and it drove me INSANE! This guy is lying to you. Excuses are bad this early on. He is staying with a friend and his family ( i spoke to the friend) while his house is being renovated. He said i can come after its finished, but when i brought it up the subject was changed. Now i am playing it cool and he is not calling. I feel hurt, i fell for it!
tlegend Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 He is staying with a friend and his family ( i spoke to the friend) while his house is being renovated. He said i can come after its finished, but when i brought it up the subject was changed. Now i am playing it cool and he is not calling. I feel hurt, i fell for it! After your hurt subsides and you realize you allowed yourself to be put into this situation and become.....infatuated, for lack of a better term....with this guy, you will begin to heal and learn from this. You deserve better, and until you can accept that, you won't get any better guys. As one my favorite quotes explains: "You only accept the love you think you deserve."
clia Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Listen to Phantom888 if you want a man's view on how men act toward women they are crazy about and want a future with. He is living it! It is not like how your guy is acting.
Author so gutted Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 Are you sure he isn't married? He seems to have lots to hide. A man who would not invite you over, yet wants a future with you? Classic double-life. If he were serious about you, he would cross oceans for you. My woman and I couldn't see each other for 10 days early in our relationship, and it drove me INSANE! This guy is lying to you. Excuses are bad this early on. Listen to Phantom888 if you want a man's view on how men act toward women they are crazy about and want a future with. He is living it! It is not like how your guy is acting. Its just got worse. He rang yesterday, sweet as sugar full of promises for marriage. Then he dropped the bombshell, he suggested ( strongly) that I "invest 2/3 thousand" with his mate and triple it in 6 weeks. No paperwork, just trust. Apparently its good for me, will enrich my life. I had this before, an outright loan. Never going there again. This is what it led up to...
veggirl Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 He is staying with a friend and his family ( i spoke to the friend) while his house is being renovated. He said i can come after its finished, but when i brought it up the subject was changed. Now i am playing it cool and he is not calling. I feel hurt, i fell for it! No s.hit you fell for it. You fall for it EVERY SINGLE TIME. I can't even believe there are this many horrible men out there. You have met so many! It's baffling. You need to be in therapy to deal with WHY you fall for it ALL OF THE TIME. All of the time. Literally. Good for you saying no to the money request, but what if he tells you it will lead to marriage with him or something or it'll "prove" that you are the one or something? You won't fall for it again will you? Stop responding to him!!!!
GorillaTheater Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Its just got worse. He rang yesterday, sweet as sugar full of promises for marriage. Then he dropped the bombshell, he suggested ( strongly) that I "invest 2/3 thousand" with his mate and triple it in 6 weeks. No paperwork, just trust. Apparently its good for me, will enrich my life. I had this before, an outright loan. Never going there again. This is what it led up to... Sometimes this stuff reads like a Greek tragedy.
Author so gutted Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 No s.hit you fell for it. You fall for it EVERY SINGLE TIME. I can't even believe there are this many horrible men out there. You have met so many! It's baffling. You need to be in therapy to deal with WHY you fall for it ALL OF THE TIME. All of the time. Literally. Good for you saying no to the money request, but what if he tells you it will lead to marriage with him or something or it'll "prove" that you are the one or something? You won't fall for it again will you? Stop responding to him!!!! Easy to say but you are not lonely and hitting a childless age. I have a feeling he will say this will prove my trust, but i learnt already that men should not ask women for money. Still brought up kids etc. I have gone off him, even threw in that i could spend weekends at his as its nearly done ( renovation). All promises. Pig
Zahara Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 (edited) Easy to say but you are not lonely and hitting a childless age. I have a feeling he will say this will prove my trust, but i learnt already that men should not ask women for money. Still brought up kids etc. I have gone off him, even threw in that i could spend weekends at his as its nearly done ( renovation). All promises. Pig This desperate-pathetic-weak-victim persona that you are exhibiting is a big turn-off. Stop feeling so god damn sorry for yourself. I'm passed my child bearing age, does it sadden me. Of course. Are there other ways to find the joys of being a mother. I'm sure there are. But I'm not going to lay down and let some slimey, gross, manipulative, lying SOB man impregnate me, just because I want a baby. You have to seriously be messed up in the head to absolutely want to try anything, do anything to get pregnant and have a family. No boundaries whatsoever. You remind me of those Lifetime movies where women will do absolutely anything to get what they want, even if it means ruining their lives along with "that baby" they so desperately want. You are the kind of woman that will tolerate abuse and pain no matter what because anything is better than facing and battling her own emptiness. Edited November 7, 2013 by Zahara 1
Author so gutted Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 This desperate-pathetic-weak-victim persona that you are exhibiting is a big turn-off. Stop feeling so god damn sorry for yourself. I'm passed my child bearing age, does it sadden me. Of course. Are there other ways to find the joys of being a mother. I'm sure there are. But I'm not going to lay down and let some slimey, gross, manipulative, lying SOB man impregnate me, just because I want a baby. You have to seriously be messed up in the head to absolutely want to try anything, do anything to get pregnant and have a family. No boundaries whatsoever. You remind me of those Lifetime movies where women will do absolutely anything to get what they want, even if it means ruining their lives along with "that baby" they so desperately want. You are the kind of woman that will tolerate abuse and pain no matter what because anything is better than facing and battling her own emptiness. That is uncalled for. If i was that desperate then i would have had a kid by now. I am Not. I came here to help myself and show you all how men behave.
MidwestUSA Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 That is uncalled for. If i was that desperate then i would have had a kid by now. I am Not. I came here to help myself and show you all how men behave. That's just it - 'how all men behave'. A small percentage of men behave the way the ones you seem to find. This is what I believe people are trying to point out to you.
Zahara Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 (edited) That is uncalled for. If i was that desperate then i would have had a kid by now. I am Not. I came here to help myself and show you all how men behave. What's uncalled for? The way you're desperately clinging on to this guy because you want to have that child and family because he's saying he wants to marry you and have kids with you? Or are you clinging because he's such a wonderful man, that is loving and caring, spends all his time with you and is showing you he is a good man to start a life with? Why are you still holding on if not for that purpose (marriage/kids), because then you would not have mentioned that you are lonely and getting close to the end of your child bearing age. That's your only motivation. You want to help yourself. Stay away from this guy. Stop dating. Go to counselling and build your self-confidence. There is no need to do us the favor of showing us how men behave. We don't need a lesson from you. Do yourself a favor, take this as a lesson, as well as all the other threads you have created about how men behave and how they have treated you badly and work on yourself so that you don't keep making these bad choices. Edited November 7, 2013 by Zahara 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 Honey - every minute you spend even thinking of this pathetic excuse for a human being, you are that minute further away from having the family/kids you want. 1
Author so gutted Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 I was supposed to meet him today, I asked to meet as the texts were gerting too much. We were supposed to meet today at a set time, he is still with Clients. Its always the same. I feel he is either a serial liar or very busy and successful. He did say he had meetings and they may overrun but its always the same. Why text each morning for 4 months, promise marriage and tell me he has a engagement ring on order yet too busy to see me? I'm obviously clinging onto hope here. To start with we had a few good dates, now he is too busy to do anything but promise. Totally stupid of me but i never learn. A very good con artist.
MidwestUSA Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 You are replying to his texts? When is the last time you actually laid eyes on this guy, in the flesh?
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