Cooling off [update]

[crederer]

He wants you to have his baby then tells you to get on birth control? All of this after 3 dates?

 

Woah

 

It sounds like you have low self esteem. Why be with a person like this? It sounds awful. Are you afraid to be alone?

[shortee]

You have only been on 3 DATES?! And he is already bringing up marriage and kids. Please use your brain if you have one. These are red flags and the man is not to be trusted. Most likely he is controlling and abusive and will become so. His behavior is not normal.

[so gutted]

I have been seeing this guy for 3 months.

 

Every day he contacts me first, not one day has gone by without contact.

 

However, we have not met for 1 month.

 

Excuses ( from him) and illness (me).

 

I fear he is going off me.

[d0nnivain]

If you are feeling better, reach out for him and schedule something.

[so gutted]

If you are feeling better, reach out for him and schedule something.

 

He has always arranged stuff in the past, says its for the man to do.

 

He let me down over the weekend as a close family friend died the night before. He did not visit her until the next day, giving him time to let me know.

 

He is in contact but not arranging to meet.

[so gutted]

He is still texting but not meeting. Why is this?

[Emilia]

He has always arranged stuff in the past, says its for the man to do.

He is controlling when the two of you meet, how often you see each other. That's usually a red flag and the sign of a man emotionally unavailable/taken by another woman in my opinion.

[soccerrprp]

He is controlling when the two of you meet, how often you see each other. That's usually a red flag and the sign of a man emotionally unavailable/taken by another woman in my opinion.

 

Very, very possible.

[so gutted]

I have also asked about meeting at his house, so far we have met in public places only, he says it is being renovated. A few weeks later he asked to come to mine, i made an excuse.

 

Its as if he has been caught out but then why carry on being in contact?

[clia]

Is this the same guy who was discussing marriage and kids by your third date, convinced you to have unprotected sex, gave you Chlamydia, and supposedly drives a $200,000 car?

 

Come on, you have to be smarter than this.

 

You haven’t even seen him for one third of your “relationship.” You've never been to his house after three months. Do you think a man who seriously wanted to marry you and have children with you (or wanted anything serious with you) would go an entire month without seeing you? No, he wouldn’t. He couldn’t even bring you soup, crackers, or ginger ale when you were sick? That’s not the sign of a man who cares about you.

 

He’s texting you because it’s easy, requires no effort, and keeps you hanging in case he decides he wants sex from you later. Has he called you in the past month?

 

You are wasting your time.

[so gutted]

Is this the same guy who was discussing marriage and kids by your third date, convinced you to have unprotected sex, gave you Chlamydia, and supposedly drives a $200,000 car?

 

Come on, you have to be smarter than this.

 

You haven’t even seen him for one third of your “relationship.” You've never been to his house after three months. Do you think a man who seriously wanted to marry you and have children with you (or wanted anything serious with you) would go an entire month without seeing you? No, he wouldn’t. He couldn’t even bring you soup, crackers, or ginger ale when you were sick? That’s not the sign of a man who cares about you.

 

He’s texting you because it’s easy, requires no effort, and keeps you hanging in case he decides he wants sex from you later. Has he called you in the past month?

 

You are wasting your time.

 

 

Yes - thats the one.

 

He called on sunday to cancel the date as there was a death, another story i now doubt.

 

He did drive the car, but i think it was borrowed.

 

What do i do? I feel attached.

[carhill]

What do i do? I feel attached.

 

Whilst time passes until he invites you to his home/warms up to full and complete social interactions with you, date other men. Big world, lots of men in it.

[clia]

Yes - thats the one.

 

He called on sunday to cancel the date as there was a death, another story i now doubt.

 

He did drive the car, but i think it was borrowed.

 

What do i do? I feel attached.

 

Get unattached.

 

Date other men. This one is gone. (And I say good riddance.)

[Emilia]

What do i do? I feel attached.

You are attached to a fantasy. You don't know this man. Detach yourself.

[LivingDeadGrl]

Yes - thats the one.

 

What do i do? I feel attached.

 

Chlamydia wasn't enough for you?

[so gutted]

Turns out it wasn't from him.

[GorillaTheater]

Turns out it wasn't from him.

 

And the plot thickens.

 

One of these days you're going to have to sort yourself out.

[pteromom]

Turns out it wasn't from him.

 

Are you sleeping with someone else too?

 

You know you can't catch it from a toilet seat, if that's what he's selling you on.

[Lost561]

I feel uncomfortable. Guy i have been on 3 dates with ( long dates) who sms me all day and night discussing kids in 1 years time and marriage etc, wants me to go on pill.

 

I have never done this and I feel like its a threat, no choice. He did not deliver as a threat but it keeps coming up.

 

He keeps saying we will get married etc but when the time is right. Not sure if he is saying that just because he wants risk free sexx.

 

I am scared to say no, in case i lose him,

 

I like him but i do not want to go

On the pill. Its not risk free And why should the woman have to take on all this?

 

Is this normal in a relationship?

 

I want marriage... He wants this..

 

You want marriage after 3 dates? With a guy that is acting this clingy?

 

This thread is a joke.

[so gutted]

No i caught it ages ago not from him, there are often no symptoms.

 

He is still in contact but not arranging a date.

 

He sends me videos of his friends and kids and what he is up too so he is transparent.

 

He did also cook for me.

 

I just want to see where he lives to make it real. Is this so bad?

[clia]

No i caught it ages ago not from him, there are often no symptoms.

 

He is still in contact but not arranging a date.

 

He sends me videos of his friends and kids and what he is up too so he is transparent.

 

He did also cook for me.

 

I just want to see where he lives to make it real. Is this so bad?

 

He hasn't seen you in one month.

 

That is one third of the time you've known him. You haven't seen him.

 

Honestly, do you think that is the sign of a man who is really interested in you?

 

Because...it's not. At all.

[Zahara]

I pulled up your thread history. I don't think you've made any progress. All your thread titles beginning from 2008 are just as toxic and sad as this currrent one. You really need to lay off dating and work on building your self-esteem. You see very little value in yourself. If you don't, you will continue making these bad choices for yourself.

[so gutted]

I pulled up your thread history. I don't think you've made any progress. All your thread titles beginning from 2008 are just as toxic and sad as this currrent one. You really need to lay off dating and work on building your self-esteem. You see very little value in yourself. If you don't, you will continue making these bad choices for yourself.

 

I think i am honest. Others go through similar stuff, no point sitting at home being a nun. You have to try?

 

He has some good points.

[Zahara]

I think i am honest. Others go through similar stuff, no point sitting at home being a nun. You have to try?

 

He has some good points.

 

What has your honesty have to do with your bad choices?

 

Yes, no point sitting at home and being a nun. I can think of many other things that you can be doing besides chasing unavailable men. Trying doesn't make a man become emotionally available to you.

 

Some good points? I read your thread. Three dates and you know he has good points? You can't know someone's good points by going out on 3 dates. People are on their best behavior in the early stages of dating. You don't even know this man except for the fantasy you have created in your head.

[so gutted]

What has your honesty have to do with your bad choices?

 

Yes, no point sitting at home and being a nun. I can think of many other things that you can be doing besides chasing unavailable men. Trying doesn't make a man become emotionally available to you.

 

Some good points? I read your thread. Three dates and you know he has good points? You can't know someone's good points by going out on 3 dates. People are on their best behavior in the early stages of dating. You don't even know this man except for the fantasy you have created in your head.

 

We have had 5 dates over 3 months and he contacts me every day at least 3 times.