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so gutted

By so gutted
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so gutted Established Member

so gutted

Posted
Posted

I feel uncomfortable. Guy i have been on 3 dates with ( long dates) who sms me all day and night discussing kids in 1 years time and marriage etc, wants me to go on pill.

 

I have never done this and I feel like its a threat, no choice. He did not deliver as a threat but it keeps coming up.

 

He keeps saying we will get married etc but when the time is right. Not sure if he is saying that just because he wants risk free sexx.

 

I am scared to say no, in case i lose him,

 

I like him but i do not want to go

On the pill. Its not risk free And why should the woman have to take on all this?

 

Is this normal in a relationship?

 

I want marriage... He wants this..

heartshaped Established Member

heartshaped

Posted
Posted

You've only been on three dates with this guy.

 

No more needs to be said.

  • Like 15
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so gutted Established Member

so gutted

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Yes - but is this normal?

 

Most guys want sex on first second date..,

fanine Established Member

fanine

Posted
Posted

Three dates........and you are considering marriage?

 

You think all men expect sex on a second date??? Where have for this crazy notion from?

 

Also.....does this mean you feel you always have to do what a man expects rather than what you feel comfortable with??

 

Also did you ask why he wants you to go on the pill??

  • Like 2
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so gutted Established Member

so gutted

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Posted

Yes most men want it very soon, especially if they buy you dinner or if you meet via the internet.

 

He said it was double protection for me.

 

I react badly to most medicine.

 

Also, it makes me feel guilty.

 

I want kids, sooner rather then later ( with a suitable man).

 

Why is he focusing on marriage, kids but then saying go on the pill.

 

Is he using marriage to secure the deal?

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so gutted Established Member

so gutted

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Please explain why.,

 

He is the only guy i have met in 10 years of dating that has treated me well ( organized the dates etc paid and taken me to nice places).

 

Now its payback...

Dallers Established Member

Dallers

Posted
Posted

Woah 3 dates? I would be happy to get to 2nd base after three dates. Marriage and kids would make me call for the cheque and need to use the bathroom, unlock the window and run.

 

Ummmmm. Yes ok. New phone number needed and maybe a baseball bat for protection. Job done.

  • Like 1
Eivuwan Established Member

Eivuwan

Posted
Posted

I think you have an unhealthy view of what relationships are suppose to be like. Both people should care about each others desires and level of comfort in a relationship. So no, it is not normal to be proposing marriage after 3 dates or asking you to go on the pill. It is also not normal for you to fear losing a guy that you have only met for 3 dates.

  • Like 9
MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

Posted
Posted
I like him but i do not want to go

On the pill. Its not risk free And why should the woman have to take on all this?

 

Because men don't give birth.

  • Like 1
fanine Established Member

fanine

Posted
Posted
Yes most men want it very soon, especially if they buy you dinner or if you meet via the internet.

 

He said it was double protection for me.

 

I react badly to most medicine.

 

Also, it makes me feel guilty.

 

I want kids, sooner rather then later ( with a suitable man).

 

Why is he focusing on marriage, kids but then saying go on the pill.

 

Is he using marriage to secure the deal?

 

So you think basically if a guy takes you out you owe him, and the only thing you owe him is sex? Please value yourself more and also please don't think men only want you for sex. There are plenty of good men who won't view you as just something for sex.

  • Like 2
HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

Posted
Posted

Why don't you take the time to get to actually know this guy. Men will promise you the world to get in your pants. Don't be surprised when Mr marriage minded up and disappears after he gets what he wants. Trust people on their ACTIONS not words! 3 dates and your willing to put your health on the line! Don't be a fool!

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so gutted Established Member

so gutted

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Why don't you take the time to get to actually know this guy. Men will promise you the world to get in your pants. Don't be surprised when Mr marriage minded up and disappears after he gets what he wants. Trust people on their ACTIONS not words! 3 dates and your willing to put your health on the line! Don't be a fool!

 

He has mentioned marriage and kids for 3 days, including while abroad.

 

He contacted me non sto while abroad, which is unususl and nice.

 

How can I get to know him if he has left me becausr of this.

 

I want more of the same, dating..,

 

He wants dating plus this.

 

How do i answer him and say i

Am not ready to go on the pill. Why can't he use a condom?????

Dallers Established Member

Dallers

Posted
Posted

I wanted to marry someone early on in the relationship once, but then she moved up to primary school and we drifted apart....

  • Like 7
HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

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"How do i answer him and say i

Am not ready to go on the pill. Why can't he use a condom?????"

 

 

Well clearly Mr 3 dates is more important than your health and well being! Come on, shake yourself for me. You wanna know how you get to know what his REAL intentions are? You tell him your not ready for this. You tell him the truth and see how he treats you. Take it from someone who had men promise the same thing and more, oh our kids will be so cute, I'm gonna plan us a cabin for Christmas, we will get married. Pfft, wake up girlfriend men will promise anything to a fool. That's why you have to look out for yourself. And I hope your at least brave enough to suggest you both get tested for disease before you have unprotected sex. Don't come crying a month later about how can he do this. You've been warned. Always put yourself first.

  • Like 2
snowflakes88 Established Member

snowflakes88

Posted
Posted
Yes most men want it very soon, especially if they buy you dinner or if you meet via the internet.

 

This is false. Your standards are very, very, very, very, very, very, very low.

  • Like 4
Dallers Established Member

Dallers

Posted
Posted
I also wanted to marry someone early on in the relationship, but it did not work out because I trapped her in my swimming pool and closed it off, depleting her from a beautiful element we call oxygen.

 

 

 

Oh, I play sims 3 a lot.

 

@OP does the person you are dating also play Sim 3?

snowflakes88 Established Member

snowflakes88

Posted
Posted

OP - I just had a peek at your post history, and yikes. I don't think you have any business having sex with this man so soon, period. If he disappears after you have sex (which is highly likely), you will be totally devastated.

  • Like 1
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so gutted Established Member

so gutted

Posted
  • Author
Posted
"How do i answer him and say i

Am not ready to go on the pill. Why can't he use a condom?????"

 

 

Well clearly Mr 3 dates is more important than your health and well being! Come on, shake yourself for me. You wanna know how you get to know what his REAL intentions are? You tell him your not ready for this. You tell him the truth and see how he treats you. Take it from someone who had men promise the same thing and more, oh our kids will be so cute, I'm gonna plan us a cabin for Christmas, we will get married. Pfft, wake up girlfriend men will promise anything to a fool. That's why you have to look out for yourself. And I hope your at least brave enough to suggest you both get tested for disease before you have unprotected sex. Don't come crying a month later about how can he do this. You've been warned. Always put yourself first.

 

 

True. Shocking but true.

 

This has become the only topic.

 

He even said the kids will be cute... I fell for it.

 

I feel duped. That thing called hope.

strongnrelaxed Established Member

strongnrelaxed

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Posted
3 dates!!!! Leave the sociopath.

 

He is a sociopath because he is insisting on birth control? WTF-ingF?

 

He may be crude and perhaps a bit selfish, but he is smart enough to ask for BC. Condoms are nice and everything, but they are horrible for the man.

 

There are other options besides the pill - patches and shots for now. They are also close to clinical trials on a male contraceptive.

 

Until then, you should already be on birth control for your own safety and the potential for an unwanted pregnancy.

 

I would not call OP a sociopath, but if I had to choose one of the two I would go with her. She is willing to forego bc with a guy she hardly knows and bring a child into that - and HE is the sociopath?

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

Posted
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Dude above me, he is a psycho manipulator because HE wants HER off birth control.

 

She is desperate and suffers from massively low self-esteem, hence her confusion/willingness to agree with him!

 

OP, seriously. You're worried you OWE him this? you owe him...a BABY? because he bought you dinner? maybe you should pay for yourself to avoid these feelings of "owing" SO MUCH for so little. omg. :(

Eivuwan Established Member

Eivuwan

Posted
Posted
Dude above me, he is a psycho manipulator because HE wants HER off birth control.

 

She is desperate and suffers from massively low self-esteem, hence her confusion/willingness to agree with him!

 

OP, seriously. You're worried you OWE him this? you owe him...a BABY? because he bought you dinner? maybe you should pay for yourself to avoid these feelings of "owing" SO MUCH for so little. omg. :(

 

Actually you misread, he wants the OP ON birth control and she feels uncomfortable about it.

  • Like 1
emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
Posted

You should never ever ever go out of your way to please someone, because in the end they will screw you over anyway when they decide that this change was still not good enough. The demands will never end. You will never satisfy him to his liking. A person who genuinely cares about you doesn't only demand what they want without Caring about your feelings.

 

You are soo desperate to be in a relationship that you seem to have forgotten about yourself. It takes too much negative energy trying to do things out of fear of losing them. Never let someone hold that kind of power over you. When you allow this you become a mop that people use to clean their floors with.

  • Like 1
spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

Posted
Posted

Most men want sex fairly soon after starting to date, if they are really attracted to a girl. However, this doesn't mean they get it! If you want a full relationship with a guy, then you both need to form an emotional attachment before you consider getting involved in this way (unless, of course, you are just looking for casual sex). Emotional bonding takes time and getting to know the person. You hardly know him. Why would he ask (pressure?) you to go on the pill so soon, if it wasn't for the fact that he wants sex as soon as possible and doesn't want you to get pregnant?

 

It doesn't sound to me like he's thinking long term at all. If you are, be wary, this guy is going straight for sex and may not be a good choice. If you say no to the pill so early on, and he leaves, then it tells you a lot about what he was after. A decent guy will want to build a relationship with you. Yes, he will want sex but he will also wait until you are happy with it. He won't pressure you to go on the pill when you've only had three dates!

  • Like 1
emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
Posted

loves unprotected sex but doesn't want to pay the child support that comes with it.

 

Let me tell her I see marriage and kids in the future to expedite the process.

SJC2008 Established Member

SJC2008

Posted
Posted
I feel uncomfortable. Guy i have been on 3 dates with ( long dates) who sms me all day and night discussing kids in 1 years time and marriage etc, wants me to go on pill.

 

I have never done this and I feel like its a threat, no choice. He did not deliver as a threat but it keeps coming up.

 

He keeps saying we will get married etc but when the time is right. Not sure if he is saying that just because he wants risk free sexx.

 

I am scared to say no, in case i lose him,

 

I like him but i do not want to go

On the pill. Its not risk free And why should the woman have to take on all this?

 

Is this normal in a relationship?

 

I want marriage... He wants this..

 

You should be running for the hills, not telling us you're

afraid to lose him.

 

No this isn't normal. He picked up on your insecurity and is going ro take advantahe of you and dangle a marriage carrot in front of you as long as you keep giving him what he wants.

  • Like 2
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