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I'm a 34 yr old Teaching Assistant who has fallen for my 22 year old Teacher..:S

crayola79

By crayola79
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crayola79 New Member

crayola79

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hello there all,

 

i am glad to be here and am really looking forward to contribute where possible and get some advice with my current "love" situation...:S

 

i see to have stumbled upon something that has really hit me hard during the last 6 weeks or so. i work as a teaching assistant and i'm supporting a new teacher. she's amazing. she is just so calm, but strict, funny but serious, firm with the children but fair. she has their respect and mine too. we get along great - i help her out all the time, make sure i do all her photocopying, preparing, even make things for the class during my weekends and i don't get paid for that. i enjoy helping her out as it enriches the children's learning. i also enjoy supporting her and making sure her job, a a teacher is a wee bit less stressful knowing that i can take some of the heat.

 

lately we have been really well and a few days ago we had a training day. i had to go in as she was and we discussed that we'd work on displays, etc. god knows there is always something to do in the classroom, or prepare lovely, wonderful learning things for the children. we laughed, joked, worked well and i noticed that she would want to go get paper together over at the art room on the other side where normally i'd just go. it seemed like she enjoyed being with me and my company. i'm a very jokey, positive person so am always smiling. after lunch we decided that we needed to create some cartoony displays and she told me what she wanted. i sat down to create the displays and she was sat there just watching me, and i didn't have no problem with that. we chatted away, me telling her about my previous jobs and we had fun. i noticed that at times she'd become "cute" - putting on a babyish persona/voice when i needed some more paper, and it seemed like it was a date! we laughed more and it was lovely. we work really well together and are almost psychic - we tend to know what the other is thinking or laugh at the same things etc.

 

 

last to last friday I had to run an errand and arrived late at assembly. I noticed that she was already there and standing next to the class as they sat. I was standing on the other side, watching and making sure the children were listening and behaving. She could have just stayed where she was but she came over and stood right next to me. We began to chat and giggle and discuss things. It felt wonderful. Then after school she asked me to stay a wee bit and help her sort out some worksheets, which again she could have easily done herself. I got the feeling that she wanted to be in my company. At the end, as we have broken up for a week (half term), she thanked me as we met outside the reception office. she thanks me for working with her for the past 6 weeks and i felt, i felt that she wanted to hug me. her eyes were wide and open and she had an amazing smile sitting on her face. we didn't hug as there were other teachers there and the head. i then made her laugh and said our goodbyes. ii miss her and could write and write about her. i plan to ask her if she'd like to hang out, or go for a drink during xmas holidays. right now i keep seeing her smile. :S

 

i just feel so grateful to know her and if i were to die tomorrow, i would be happy to know that i met her. i think she likes me too, as i do like her. part of me is saying it's too much is a gap, the age. i just found out she was 22, i thought she was more mature as she acts so. then part of me says she would never be interested, and even so it wouldn't work as we work together. one of my friends said that he was happy that i felt this way as i've not felt this way about a woman since i seperated from my ex in 2009. she is an amazing woman, my heart breaks feeling that it may never happen, and even if it doesn't i mustn't be sad. i also think that maybe the age difference is too much, but then some say it's ok?

 

i recall that i had asked her what she was doing this half term (last week) and she said not much, that she'd be going out on a touristy thing, "a single girl." then i asked her about christmas, just making polite conversation. she said, with sullen eyes and a sad look that she'd be by herself. i'm thinking of asking her out at christmas if things continue to go well and there seems to be a "spark."

 

today we exchanged a few many glances, usually it's her who looks at me for a reaction. we exchanged one glance, and she was red cheeked and smiley. it was a reaction to an answer to a question we posed to the children.

 

i make her laugh a lot and see her expression that tells me she likes me.

 

please help :S

 

i am trying to think realistic and clearly, thinking of the best route and trying not to fall in love...but i think about her all the time we're not together, i see her smile, her laugh, these two are the best. her personality is just very natural and honest.

virtuzoso Member

virtuzoso

Posted
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I'm gonna wish you luck. Because I have been in a similar situation and it didnt work out so well. Age is just a number, but that age gap means that there probably is a huge difference in maturity, wants and desires. I'm not saying it wont work, I'm just saying the odds aren't there.

 

One thing to consider is that we often idealise people we are attracted to. If you hold on a bit longer, some of that shine will fade- that laugh may become annoying, that baby voice may become like nails on the chalkboard, etc. Thats actually happened to me a few times. Perhaps you guys may just end up as really good friends. But my advice is to take a deep breath and let your brain play catchup with your emotions. It may take a while, but it will be worth it. There is nothing wrong with enjoying her company no matter what the outcome!

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crayola79 New Member

crayola79

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I'm gonna wish you luck. Because I have been in a similar situation and it didnt work out so well. Age is just a number, but that age gap means that there probably is a huge difference in maturity, wants and desires. I'm not saying it wont work, I'm just saying the odds aren't there.

 

One thing to consider is that we often idealise people we are attracted to. If you hold on a bit longer, some of that shine will fade- that laugh may become annoying, that baby voice may become like nails on the chalkboard, etc. Thats actually happened to me a few times. Perhaps you guys may just end up as really good friends. But my advice is to take a deep breath and let your brain play catchup with your emotions. It may take a while, but it will be worth it. There is nothing wrong with enjoying her company no matter what the outcome!

 

hey there virtuozo,

 

firstly, i'm sorry to hear that your similar experience wasn't a success. secondly, thank you very much for taking the time out to reply to me.

i hear your concern about the age gap and the levels of maturity, wants and desires. it has plagued me for some time this notion. i know for a fact that she is mature beyond belief, having come from a different country and living her in the uk, by herself and working as a teacher. when i first met her i thought that she was mid twenties, late even.

you speak wise words about idolising people we are attracted to. she is very good as planning, she is a teacher ofcourse! but she has a certain way about her and we always work so well together. she has no baby voice except when the few occasions, one two being today, that she speaks in a babyish voice. apart from that shes as loud and commanding as any primary school teacher. strict, but kind. i've worked with her for the past seven weeks and i don't feel annoyed at anything she does or say. even the shouting! i take a dee breath everday, be it as soon as i wake to the night that i sleep, thinking about her and the rammifications and ideas that you mentioned. i feel in my heart that if i did not tell her how i feel i may loose her. at the same time i don't want to ruin a friendship and until the foreseeable future, a very good working relationship. i know that life is short and 100% of the chances will be missed if you don't take them. it is a strange feeling this, to like and to feel so blessed to know someone, meet them and get to them know day in day out. i feel blessed, so grateful i can't explain it.

 

thank you for your time.

virtuzoso Member

virtuzoso

Posted
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Just beware: If it is truly love, it will not really fade much over time. If it is infatuation, then time will wear it down slowly. Consider if someone else as charming and remarkable in there own way came along: would these feelings stay as strong? Which person would you choose? Best of luck to you!

ITw Member

ITw

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Crayola, nice user name - I can tell you work with kids. Just tell her already and ask her out on a date. You like her and you know she likes you too. A twelve year age difference is not a big deal anymore these days. Society doesn't care. When she's 34, you'll be 46. When she's 44, you'll be 56. See, not a big deal.

 

You say she's mature for her age, that's a good sign. Is the problem that the age gap is a big deal to you? You're lucky. How many people on here post about how they can't find anyone to date or about how they've been rejected over and over again. If you find someone that you care about and cares about you, go for it full steam ahead. I personally wouldn't let the opportunity pass me by.

AHaze Established Member

AHaze

Posted
Posted

It's 50/50,

 

Does she have daddy issues?

Does she not have daddy issues?

 

If she does, you're in...

If she does not, she'll have no interest in you...

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charlietheginger Established Member

charlietheginger

Posted
Posted

The daddy issues is a real thing. I've met younger girls who are attracted to me then i usually find out that they came from a broken home lived with mom. Maybe dad died when she was really young....

 

Alot of younger women chase or look for someone to fill that daddy role...

 

Through my work i met a girl who was 15 she has grown and is now 19 . Im almost 37 we got chatting one day and things moved in a wierd direction. Over the yrs i knew she only had a mom her father was never around. Her boyfriends were jerks she never had a real man in her life. She said hey why dont we go out....

 

I went ahead picked her up we ate dinner. We ended up back at my place we hugged and cuddled up. I told her sex wasnt that big of a deal and you probably just wanted to have a guy around you liked thats nice to you.... She pretty much agreed that she just wanted to feel closer to me and feel accepted. I still see her we still talk and all. Now she is with a guy her own age and seems o.k....

 

so yes some women are looking for father figures

ITw Member

ITw

Posted
Posted
The daddy issues is a real thing. I've met younger girls who are attracted to me then i usually find out that they came from a broken home lived with mom. Maybe dad died when she was really young....

 

Alot of younger women chase or look for someone to fill that daddy role...

 

Through my work i met a girl who was 15 she has grown and is now 19 . Im almost 37 we got chatting one day and things moved in a wierd direction. Over the yrs i knew she only had a mom her father was never around. Her boyfriends were jerks she never had a real man in her life. She said hey why dont we go out....

 

I went ahead picked her up we ate dinner. We ended up back at my place we hugged and cuddled up. I told her sex wasnt that big of a deal and you probably just wanted to have a guy around you liked thats nice to you.... She pretty much agreed that she just wanted to feel closer to me and feel accepted. I still see her we still talk and all. Now she is with a guy her own age and seems o.k....

 

so yes some women are looking for father figures

 

That could be true with a larger age gap. It looks like you are about 18 years older than the girl you dated. That is alot. A twelve year gap, such as the OP's case, is no big deal and does not mean the woman has "daddy issues". My parents are ten years apart in age. I have an aunt and uncle that even have a slightly larger age gap. Once again, it was no big deal for them and they are even from a less accepting generation. I've seen couples with such age gaps work out fine.

 

So she's 22 and he's 34. That could easily work if they are the right people for each other and a good match. OP, I say do what you want to do and what you're comfortable with. Just know that these days your age gap with this woman is completely acceptable. It's not as if you are twenty plus years older than her.

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
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It sounds like you have a real connection with her.

 

My only concern would be how it could affect your job. Could you or she get into trouble dating a coworker? Do you have to continue to work with her the rest of the school year, even if you went on a few dates and it went badly, or if you got together then broke up in a month?

 

If it won't negatively affect your job, then this is a no brainer to me. Ask her out already!!!!

desperategirl Established Member

desperategirl

Posted
Posted

I personally don't think this is that big an age gap. She is young, but as you say, mature.

 

It sounds like she is into you, nd you sound like you are in love with her.

 

Try it - it sounds worth a gamble.

 

And good luck :)

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