Knucklehead1050 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I think you should move on with your life. He chose to leave therefore he no longer has any say in the way you lead your life.
Avarage Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 (edited) Most men at that age are not virgins and I find that even men who are religious find it very hard, or are not willing to give up sex. If a man IS a virgin, he surely wouldn't want to date a woman who had kids outside of marriage or a divorced woman. He would want a woman who also is a virgin. I hardly ever reply to people on here but seeing as how I have a feeling your most probably my age (Guessing from the 88 in your name) I have to disagree with this. I really didn't start dating serious until after I had gotten my life at a point were I felt I could and was still a virgin. I dated and was perfectly fine with if the woman had kids or had been previously married and now divorced (wouldn't deal with separated as that felt like it could be walking into a minefield). The woman I'm with now that I finally decided to keep had been in various relationships before me. She had lived with one guy and has had more partners than me. She was my first and I love her dearly. I am a religious man, attend church every sunday and have all my life, and wouldn't change any of her history as that's what makes her so unique and special. SO to summarize here, just because a man might be a virgin or religious doesn't mean he will judge a woman for her past. It more sounds like that guy just worries about losing you as a convenient caretaker for your child. He might also want you to stay single as a possible backup plan in case things don't work out with this other women. I say get out there and date. Edited November 8, 2013 by Avarage
2sure Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 Fortunately , your ex and his GF are in no position to give you advice let alone rules. 3
michelangelo Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Clemson, I feel like you are implying that I am going to just go out and sleep with any man that looks at me twice. I don't do that. I can't date let alone have sex with someone I don't have a strong connection to. I can't have sex with just anyone. This is one of the reasons my exes cheating hurt so bad. He is the only person I have had sex with. Having my son outside of marriage was wrong bit it isn't a mistake I will make again. Yolu don't owe your fool of an ex-husband any say in your life anymore. Plus, if anyone wants to spin a dogma on your behavior, then let it be you. Not any of us here. None of us walk in your shoes. Enjoy your life as you see fit.
Author SoAlone88 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 Now he says that remarriage is wrong and it is also wrong for women who have had out of wed lock children to marry and therefore, it is also ''pointless'' to date since it can't end in a marriage. I told him he was a ****ing hypocrite and he said something like 'two wrongs don't make a right'' or something like that. I was so mad I was hardly paying attention. I was livid and honestly if e were in front of me I could have physically hurt him. I told him to **** off and it was no longer up for discussion. All of my anger I felt when he left me is back. Or maybe it never left. Actually. Anger wouldn't describe it. I don't know what it is. But I want to drive over there and knock every single tooth he has clean out. That little c**t can have it too. I won't though. I can't go to jail
Author SoAlone88 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 I mean, he can't be serious? He has to be doing this to make me mad. Who can be that hypocritical?
tiredofitall2 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 A little over a year ago, I found out my partner was having an affair. A couple months after I found out, he told me he no longer love me and that he loves her and he wants to be with her. He left and I was heart broken for a long time. We have an almost 3 year old together, and I did not want to seperate him from his father so I also had to come to terms with the OW being around our son. I feel that I am ready to start dating now. When I told my ex this, he didn't seem to care. Shortly after this a co-worker who had been flirting with me for a while asked me out and I accepted. When I told my ex this, he said that he and ow discussed this and think it would be better for me to not date at all until our son graduates college. His reasoning was that our son already had to get used to having another woman around and that he shouldn't have to do it again, should I decide that I want to marry another man. He said that when he has graduated college, he should be almost fully independent by then and thus would not be badly affected if I choose to date. This seems totally unfair to me. I did not choose to be single. HE put this all on me. I LOVED him with all my heart and he left. So not only does he think I have to deal with the blow my self worth and happiness he took away from me, I also have to deal with being without the emotion and physical intimacy of a relationship for the next 18+ years? I told him this and he said I should be focusing 100% on our son and that I shouldn't need a relationship to make me happy. Our son is supposed to be the only love I need. Does anyone agree with this? LOL, then it should be the same for him too. Tell him to leave the OM and be alone until his son graduates. That is the most ridiculous thing I have heard in a while now!
TheBladeRunner Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Unreal! I can't believe he even suggested that you not date; his request and he himself are ridiculous! Suggestion time here: You wanna' date? Do it!.........and don't tell him a f#$%&g thing.....ever! Let him find out you met a good man through your son! I have stopped dating for a bit as I needed a break, but when I do meet the right woman it will be months before she meets my daughter. Then, and only then, will my EXW know I am dating because my daughter will tell her. We are divorced and we each have a life of our own, it's none of her business if I am dating or not. It's not your EX's concern either.
jnel921 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 A little over a year ago, I found out my partner was having an affair. A couple months after I found out, he told me he no longer love me and that he loves her and he wants to be with her. He left and I was heart broken for a long time. We have an almost 3 year old together, and I did not want to seperate him from his father so I also had to come to terms with the OW being around our son. I feel that I am ready to start dating now. When I told my ex this, he didn't seem to care. Shortly after this a co-worker who had been flirting with me for a while asked me out and I accepted. When I told my ex this, he said that he and ow discussed this and think it would be better for me to not date at all until our son graduates college. His reasoning was that our son already had to get used to having another woman around and that he shouldn't have to do it again, should I decide that I want to marry another man. He said that when he has graduated college, he should be almost fully independent by then and thus would not be badly affected if I choose to date. This seems totally unfair to me. I did not choose to be single. HE put this all on me. I LOVED him with all my heart and he left. So not only does he think I have to deal with the blow my self worth and happiness he took away from me, I also have to deal with being without the emotion and physical intimacy of a relationship for the next 18+ years? I told him this and he said I should be focusing 100% on our son and that I shouldn't need a relationship to make me happy. Our son is supposed to be the only love I need. Does anyone agree with this? Why the heck would you even discuss your life with theses two jerks let alone ponder the thought????? This can't be serious. SMH
Raena Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Now he says that remarriage is wrong and it is also wrong for women who have had out of wed lock children to marry and therefore, it is also ''pointless'' to date since it can't end in a marriage. I told him he was a ****ing hypocrite and he said something like 'two wrongs don't make a right'' or something like that. I was so mad I was hardly paying attention. I was livid and honestly if e were in front of me I could have physically hurt him. I told him to **** off and it was no longer up for discussion. All of my anger I felt when he left me is back. Or maybe it never left. Actually. Anger wouldn't describe it. I don't know what it is. But I want to drive over there and knock every single tooth he has clean out. That little c**t can have it too. I won't though. I can't go to jail Soalone, you need to hurry up and get the ability to have private messages! I want to talk to you privately about all of this. It seems like you and I have a LOT in common. So get posting! I think you need about 50 posts to get this status? Not sure about that. I wasn't paying attention when I got mine. In the meantime... I seriously hope you told him to go stick it where the sun doesn't shine. He can't be serious when he says that stuff to you is he? He sounds a lot like my ex... very selfish. Do not tell him ANYTHING else about your personal life. It is NONE of his business. Who you date, when you date, whether or not you decide to get remarried... he has very little say so in it. Just like you had no say so in who he chose to leave you for. He has the woman he cheated on you with there with him when he sees his child right? Throw it right back in his face. Tell him what is good for the goose is good for the gander. If you shouldn't be dating, then neither should he!
MasonJarTeaDrinker Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Wow are you serious? Look honestly I am a cheater however I would never ever want my ex if she ever found out to stay a lone. Because according to me I do care for her and I want her to be happy but I can't believe this piece of **** has the balls to tell you that. Do not and I repeat do not listen to him. He is a selfish prick and you have the right to find love again and be happy, so go do your thing and I wish you the best of luck. You're gonna find a real man out there that really does appreciate a good woman.
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