krista28 Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 please help. theres this guy I work with ( I only work there about twice a month) that I liked. I asked him to go out because I thought he was interested in me. So we hungout, I guess I aired too much of my dirty laundry about my ex boyfriends, and he thought I was insecure. He was talking about how he thought this and this girl was hot and I was kinda turned off by that. This guy is 40 and I am 30. I thought that since he was older he might be a nice guy. Turns out he decided that since we work together and I'm insecure we shouldn't date. so I talked to him the other night..and he said I should come over...we could hangout once and see how things went. He also advised me he had been on a date with another girl, like two days after we went out. One his age. Anyhow....we endedu p sleeping together, I know im stupid. But it was really good...I like him so there was feelings. I think/thought he liked me too. It was good and we cuddled after..he let me stay was sweet about it. So...the next day I wake up to go to work and he was a little bit cold...he kissed and hugged me good bye but I hadn't heard from him yet. I texted him that day about 6pm so it had been at least about 12 hrs since I had seen him. I juts said thanks for letting me stay over..hope u weren't too tired. He hasn't answered me back..and he always does... Is this all my fault or is this juts maybe a case of hes not that into you where its not my fault and its just life? I know I may have turned him off but....it seems like if he ever liked me at all...he wouldn't shut me out like that.. and not even answer a simple text. What should I do, play it cool now? In all honesty he doesn't have much money and I'm maybe thinking he doesn't think hes good enough for me anyhow...I do make quite a bit more money then him. Not that it matters to me..cuz I thought he was a sweety....just please hhelp and don't say im a hoe lol..it was a mistake but felt right.
soccerrprp Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 krista, he told you that it would be a bad idea to date someone he was working with and insecure. he then told you to come over and was likely hoping to have sex with you. he got that. i doubt that he changed his mind about the reasons he didn't want to date you in the first place. he also told you he was dating others, so all the signs that he was not interested in having a LT relationship with you and put it all out in the open for you to decide. you came over. he got the sex. he's probably done with you, sorry.... i hope i'm wrong.
Phantom888 Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 He liked you enough to have sex with you, but he didn't like you enough to maintain contact. He got what he wanted, and he has moved on. There was no boundaries set, so he could sleep with you and move onto someone else without having to explain anything. That's what happened. 1
Mascara Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 First of all, you're not an idiot. A little too trusting perhaps, but don't let that make you hard. I never ever ask a guy out, I'm not saying you shouldn't but this scenario is quite common - guys rarely get asked out, so when it happened to him, he was flattered but not that into you. Yet, he probably thought you were nice, decent looking, may as well give it a shot. A guy like this won't pass up a chance to have a fling with a girl who isn't repulsive He basically then invited you over for a booty call afterwards. I'm sorry, but that's all it was. And then you thanked him? Oh no. You said - "I'm maybe thinking he doesn't think hes good enough for me anyhow" No no no. Don't put a spin on this that makes you think he likes you "but but but". He is NOT into you. He likes sex with you, and will probably go there again if you offer. But that's as far as this is going. Ignore him and move on. And don't be fooled by someone's age. There are plenty of 40/50/60 year old jerks.
Zahara Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Older doesn't make them nice or mature. There are grown ass men out there that act like 5 year olds so get the whole "the older they are the more mature" out your head. You sound very insecure. Don't talk about your past relationships on a date, especially a first. You want to engage in conversation about who you are, your interests, your humor, etc. Who wants to go out on a first date and hear about exes that f'd you over? Not only does it give him insight into your emotional state and but it also turns him off. He probably brought up his stories about women to counter yours. Equally immature. So, he said that since you work together and you are insecure, you both shouldn't date. And he also told you he was out on another date two days before. He was telling you where he stands. Giving you the big warning. And you still went over and had sex. That's enough to tell you that it was just sex. But at least it was really good. It's not about who makes more money. Try not to grasp at excuses to justify his bad behavior. It was just sex. It's life. You just have to be smart to see the signs, know what you're getting into and if you want to. If a guy isn't even interested to respond to a text, what does it matter if he liked you or not? When you hear a guy telling you he isn't interested in dating you, don't have sex with him. 1
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