Ex is back...

[Moezes]

Ok so this is my first post, although I've been reading post here for quite some time now...

 

So I was with my ex for almost 4 years. We previously had something but it was freshman year in high school, but I moved away and switched schools. We started off as friends as I think that's the best way to start a relationship is to have that strong base. We began getting serious the second time around fairly quick as it seemed we picked up where we left off. Throughout the first 2 years we fought a lot about her ex and every time we fought got a little stronger. Going into the 3rd year we decided to get more serious and get an apartment together. We were perfect for the first 2 months and then I went cold and had a lot on my plate just with trying to save and manage everything and step up and be a man so that she didn't have to worry about things. I kept telling her I didn't know what I wanted. Ended up shutting her out and barely spoke, it was almost like we were roommates. Towards the end of the 3rd year she begged and fought for me and would threaten to leave and all that. I didn't think anything of it until she actually moved out. We still talked and hungout and was fine as we weren't labeled bf/gf. Ended up getting into a small argument and stopped talking for about a week. Next time I seen her she was picking something up from the apt. I knew she was coming and was finally about to tell her I know what I wanted and it was her. So she gets there and before I can tell her, she tells me that she kind of met someone else. So being a little crushed I just said she should go. I then tried to fight for her for a few days and ended up realizing that she's probably looking for what she wasn't getting from me and that I waited too long into knowing what I wanted. So they ended up getting serious and I was left depressed.

 

Weeks went by with no contact when my phone goes off late at night early morning and she was crying and all so we talked a little bit. Basically seemed like she was holding stuff in and how I guess she wasn't comfortable enough to tell this other kid. After that stopped talking again for a couple months. I was down the shore on vacation and I had a weird number keep calling me and finally answered. It was the other guy asking if we had talked a few months back(when she called) I said yeah and hung up. Next thing you know she was blowing my phone up like 25 times so I turned it off. Next day I turn it on and again she is calling and calling and I blocked her #. The calls still come as she's calling me from her house so I finally give in an she's like sorry about the other day, I said you called me all these times just to say that? And se said no and that they had broken up and all that crap. We talked for 3 days and then I find out they're back together and said **** it. I knew they weren't going to last just by when we talked it, she opened up as to she was missing something w this kid. So months go by again and I get a few 4am phone call and it's her, crying hysterically. So I asked her where she was and to just come to the apt. She ends up getting there and apologizes and tells me that she's been looking for an excuse to call me, even going as far as looking at old party tapes to hear my voice. Tells me I made it so hard for any other guy and that I was the greatest and all that jazz. So again a few days go by and find out they're talking yet again and back together. I really had it this time and block her and tell myself thAts it, how can you tell me everything you told me and then go back to him. So again it's pretty obvious from the outside looking in that relationship is destine to fail. What so you know it my phone begins to get blown up last month by her and again I gave in and she assured me that they were done it was mutual and all that. So now 3 weeks later here we are still talking and I get the whole ever since we stopped talking I think about you all the time and still do. And she always says that she doesn't want to hurt me and I keep telling her she knows what she was doing when she called and just by talking to me. So I asked her something the other day she said I don't want to get hurt or hurt you so it seems to me she kept trying to stay with this kid and convince herself it's what she wanted but when it was really me. And by calling me after every time they broke off and mutual friends saying she would always get drunk and cry and say she missed me and all, it just seems clear what she wants and I ask and she said she doesn't. I told her I understand if you think giving this another chance things will just go back how they were last time we were together but I can only prove it and just give it a chance. She always ends up changing the topic when we talk and I'm just at the point where I'm not sure what to do. Part of me wants to just cut it off and maybe she'll open her eyes as all the signs are there. And then other part wants to stay and fight and show her what she wants and been wanting is right here and always was. And for everyone who says there's others out there, during the desperation I was with 3 other girls and didn't do anything for me so yeah

[xUnknown]

...and show her what she wants and been wanting is right here and always was.

 

You're only going to do that by cutting her off. Go No Contact. It will help you heal and get over her. She needs to figure her own stuff out. By you going NC, you're forcing her to do that. She always crawls back to you - don't give her that.