DoggyDog Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 EC...Note the subject line...that's right, your wising up. Right now, right this minute. You will NC this man....screw the presents....Why would you give him something when he has done this to you---His present to you "a gift of HURT and REJECTION" all in the name of "LOVE"...So I ask you, is this what YOU WANT for CHRISTMAS??? You know the answer...NOT IN YOUR LIFE, right? Think of that and then tell me your gonna even talk to this guy...this person who shows his love for you by ending things....or asking for a frickin break for awhile....Be strong like me (2 wks now) and really getting better.....Think of him as DEAD...I mean it....get him out of your life now.....If it makes you feel better, though I didn't do anything...I just said "Bye" , I didn't want to hear anymore from my M, he said he wasn't "good for me" and that's that.....I think now and say....he is RIGHT, he's not good for me because he makes me HURT and causes PAIN to ME....I don't want that kind of man in my life...Bad enough you more or less have to take it if you were married sometimes, but NOT when he is a boyfried and should be showing you kindess, and concern for how your feeling and giving you lots of love and affection....this is what every woman is deserving of...We don't want HURT, period....AMEN....so let the SOB get his break and then BREAK his heart if he wants you BACK......We can be tough....together. Love DD
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 EC...i just recently got the " i need space bullS***" I'm telling you, take it from someone who was in the same boat a month ago. NC DOES WORK! One my ex felt that i didn't mind the space.....he got nervous and started crying....blah blah blah. It makes them feel so good about themselves if they know your devastated, he's not feeling sorry that he's the one that made you devastated. Don't call him. Please. That's one of the best pieces of advice i got from LS and my therapist told me the same thing! Now if he doesn't call you then you know he really doesn't care. If he has any caring thought, its why your not calling him and thats when he'll pick p the phone. But if he doesn't you know thats its truly over. It's OK to cry too......i cried for an hour while i was at work and i got free a lunch! Hang in there......its not as bad as you think ( well right now yes but wait a few days......you'll be OK) And we're all thinking of you here at LS
Naive Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 I used to have as my signature[b]***Why is it that we can see other people's mistake so easily but when we commit the same mistake we suddenly become blind***[/b] I guess it's easier said than done.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 Hey EC......Maybe now.......Me and Veronica can meet
djones Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 Hey EC, Sorry to hear what happend to you....it sucks especially around this time....As for the gift dont give it to him just take it back if you can, I too had bought a gift for my ex before we broke up and I could not take the gift back so I just donated to a christmas gift drive.....just an idea....You have given some real good advice here on LS, I think what some of the guys have said here about doing NC is a good thing to do right now....Take care
Author EC Posted December 15, 2004 Author Posted December 15, 2004 Hey EC......Maybe now.......Me and Veronica can meet Hey now....lol Thank you guys...This week has been hell for me and now this..and I just found out all the money I have been giving my mother to pay my credit cards she has been using and so now I have a debt of 1,695.83 plus late fees. I'm going to kill someone when I get home. I just really want to get out of here go home and drown in the lake.... Jk but seriously when will it end? I'm waiting for number three because they say all bad news comes in three.
Teag Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 If your mother is the way you say she is why in the world would you trust her to pay your bills, especially the ones that can ruin your credit?? My mom is the same way & I wouldn't trust her w/ my money to save my life. Sorry you've had such a crappy week, hopefully you'll get answers & things will get better.
tokyo Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 Hey EC, I´m sorry! I´ve been reading your other threads about him staying over night in this city where his friend lives. Make sure he´s not talking the piss out of you!! If he´s looking for a break in order to have you as his safety net meanwhile he is pursuing his old flame then shove it in his face as hard as you can! (Oops, I have a lot of frustration bottled up )
Pepuchin Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 I agree with everyone. Don't give the present to him, return it... That money will help to pay your credit cards. Ah! Don't wait for the third bad news. Two are more than enough..and you can start breaking the "three rule" right now.
Author EC Posted December 16, 2004 Author Posted December 16, 2004 Update I bought him a 45.00 dollars hat and a 105.00 dollar fossil watch that he wanted. And a hat rack. oh yeah and toothpaste.
bebop Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 oh yeah and toothpaste. ROFL. Now THAT'S romance by golly.
NiCoLe20 Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 well atleast ur in the same boat with me in a way...im about to end things withmy b/f . he's been treating me like crap and not putting in any effort to see me or hang out with me. its getting very tiresome when im the one always initiating the phone calls and im the one putting in the effort for everything... i said basically all this crying on his voicemail last night and still havent gotten a call...yea he cares right?!! im stressed out and hurt right now so i dont know what to do with his gift either.. i got him a gold pendant w/ our names engraved on the back...i cant return that!!! any takers?! lol j/k im not calling him ... if i he calls me ill pick it up and see what he has to say...i want him around for xmas and new years but if it doesnt happen oh well...ill meet someone better eventually... but EC...dont call him , let him come back to you
Author EC Posted December 16, 2004 Author Posted December 16, 2004 You will definitely meet someone new Nicole. It doesn't seem like he cares at all and thats whats so upsetting. It sounds like he wants you to get mad at him and end it so that he doesn't have to worry about it. Has he called yet?
Fayebelle Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 OH EC! I wish you had told me! Glad I came back now HUGS Should I call the posse on him? What a pickle to wait til the holidays! You know I think this is best in the long run but I am sooo sorry you are hurting now. Are you still moving now? Or would that be too awkward?
Author EC Posted December 16, 2004 Author Posted December 16, 2004 Hey Faye....Yeah I didnt tell anyone because I'm still dealing with everything. I don't know if you read my other post too, but yeah been going through some tough times. Thats why I haven't responded to many of the e-mails..BUt I read them all:) I know I think its for the best too. But I'm the one leaving him now. Thanx for the hugs!!! I'm still moving out. It will be awkward But I have no choice but to move out.
Fayebelle Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 Stay strong sweetie- you know how to find me if you need me til then lotsa xoxoxox ans some butts for giggles
hugznkisses21 Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 OMG... I have been away for three days so i just saw this now!!! I can not belive this....he is being a coward. What he is doing is runing away from something that u two could get through together....when people are married and there is stress are they suppose to pack up and leave! NO then why should a relationship be any different. I applaud you for being so strong and keeping you head up. With both this and your family issues u have showed great maturity and i wish you the best. I understand in your other post that he says he loves you and now doesnt want a break, and he should have respected your wishes about your mother. Please keep me posted, good luck and i think u moving out is going to be a new chapter in your life where u can move on, start over and open a whole new set of door for YOU. Yet I also hope you guys can works things out i really do.....men are funny...not funny ha ha but just funny strange if u know what i mean...keep your head up look out for yourself first of all and things will happen if they are meant to...let me know! HUGS!
aFighter Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 *goes out and grabs the pick axe handle he keeps in the garage for um...emergencies...and goes to her Ex's house* excuse my french but what a $%^&$& %^&%^&$% lousey $%&$%&^* thing to do just before Xmas. I know is sucks right now but you've heard it here a million times and it's true - Hang in there, things WILL get better! Everyone at LS EC
Author EC Posted December 17, 2004 Author Posted December 17, 2004 <~~~~ why would he want a break from me?? I'm cute man!!! LOL EC Everyone at LS!! EC's ex = LMAO So I talked to him last night and he acted as if nothing is wrong. He said he wants to pick me up today after work to go change my bank account so my mother can stop ruining my life. I said thats fine I will find a ride to do it myself. Then he was like look I know what happened, I know your mad at me, but right now all issues aside I love you and you need my help so can I please help you and we can fix us later? SO I was like duh..what am I supposed to say to that?? So I said fine and then sat I have the Christmas Party with him and I already bought a really nice red dress and I bought the damn red shoes and I'll be damned if I don't go. So hes taking me dammit! Then he called this morning to make sure I was still going and I said yes and he said he would be here @ 5. So now I'm at work looking really cute lol and confused as hell. What he did to my mom was wrong and even though he was playing the macho bf protector superman for me he did it in the wrong way and now hes not allowed over for Christmas. BUt I dont even know if to worry about that because I don't know if we are together or not. I really need to sit down today during lunch and analyze what it is I want out of life and out of this relationship with him.
bebop Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 I personally would find being on this see-saw too too much at the holidays. My brain would just curl in on itself like a burning melting circuit motherboard. Stay strong, keep us posted.
shadis Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 Having read through this thread, it seems like you may be setting yourself up for worse pain, which is absolutely ridiculous. You know that. Move on. Say "Bye", as he did, and stick to your "I do not believe in breaks" deal. That, or let him control you, be completely subservient, and show him that you've no back bone or strength of individuality to speak of. If I were in such a position, I would be seen as quite pitiable. Being pitied is not something I like. Analyzing this situation will get you nowhere. You care not capable of doing so at this point. Just let it all go. Be alone for the holidays. Stop using the "Oh no, I will be alone for the holidays" as a crutch; it will only drive you deeper into the abyss. Again, you know this.
Pocky Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 time to shake things up a bit. you must play games to get ahead in life and in relationships and everything else. after the holidays tell him you need some "space" for a month or two. during this period of "space" you only talk to him maybe once a week on the phone. Maybe your boyfriend received the same advice above as you received when you felt you were in a comfort zone. Hopefully, this will show people that playing games and duping people into behaving a specific way through lies isn't the best way to handle a relationship that should be founded on honesty. Had you done this to him, playing games as you once considered, he may have been feeling the same type of confusion and uncertainty you're feeling. I'm making no attempts to decipher his behavior as the inconsistency is far too excessive to analyze, but I am trying to make a point. While you're ready to just write him off so to speak, it may be that he was faced with the same thing you were and received bad advice. If you care for him you'll take the time to learn the truth. Regardless of the outcome I think you would do yourself a great disservice to just completely walk away and not understand why he asked for space and why he felt it was an appropriate time to do that.
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