xxoo Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Eclypse, your situation has some similarities to my own relationship when we first got together. He'd had a girlfriend for years, a comfy relationship, but our connection was growing stronger all the time (meanwhile I was dating others). It was difficult for him initially to break it off with his girlfriend, even though we started dating immediately (HOT and heavy from the start with all that sexual tension built up), but it worked out really well in the end. We've been married for 20 years
Author Eclypse Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 Thanks for the support guys Well it's been a tumultuous week (last few weeks actually). I haven't been able to sleep, completely torn about what to do. I wanted to tell my girlfriend everything in person. I couldn't wait though, it was killing me. I called her, and told her that I didn't think we could be together anymore, and that this was no joke. I'm almost ashamed to admit, but I actually broke down into tears while talking to her. I hardly ever cry. She got very concerned, and right away suggested I spend the night at her place on Friday, something we've only done once before. She told me she loves me more than anything, and apologized for acting distant. Once again my resolve crumbled. How could it not? I love her, I love her more than I've ever loved anyone in the world. It's like all the bad stuff just melted away. I think we're going to have another frank discussion when we meet up. I'm going to have to tell her I've developed feelings for another girl, and take things from there. However, I ended up hanging out with that other girl too, my friend. We've been friends for a long time. She's so sweet. Certain lines were crossed, but we did NOT have sex. The chemistry is very intense though. She is very very much into me. She told me how nervous she was before I came, and I could detect that. Before my talk with my gf I too was certain I'd be with her. I feel like a grade A douchebag. I cannot keep up this charade for long. Someone is going to get very hurt soon... but I don't want to hurt either of them. They don't deserve it. I don't care if I suffer pain, but I care for both of these girls. The other girl knows about my relationship, and knows my issues. She has been a sympathetic ear for a long time. What my heart is telling me at this stage, is that if my gf really wants to put effort into fixing our relationship, then I'm going to try my darnedest to stick with it. This will mean telling the other girl that I can't be with her. I value her friendship though... but I don't know how/if that will be able to work. This is a huge clusterf**k right now. I can't believe I let myself sink to this level.
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