smuggy95 Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 1.5 months NC and i feel like I'm drowning. The silence is really smothering me and not knowing when i will hear from her again just presses on me like a giant weight. It's like not knowing when you can come up for air again. I think i'm just stressed with work and this is making NC worse as she used to be the person i'd talk to, and currently a lot of my friends are just telling me to not give up on love- which is not hte point. i haven't given up on love. i'm just struggling with the pain, the moment, right now. Any advice on how to cope? or words of wisdom? 1
hurts2death Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 try to focus on sth else the weak point will come back and back again you must bypass it... dont contact or you will be re hurt 2
ponchsox Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 One of hardest but simplest things I missed was our daily phone call. Every day we would talk at 5:30 about our day and discuss our next plans. Not getting that call was very difficult. I had to train my mind not to expect the call any longer. S I started a new routine every day at the same time. Eventually, I would get used to my new routine and not miss the call. We are creatures of habit and sometimes you have to break the cycle. Stay strong my friend. 4
xUnknown Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I too miss our Good morning and good night texts, however, she thought things got routine and this was an example (which she told me before and her sis told me when we hit a rough patch that she missed these type of texts). I'm 1.5 months as well (as of Friday). I feel your pain. The NC hurts. It almost makes me want to get a breadcumb just to know I'm still in her thoughts...pathetic...yeah, I know. 1
LadyM Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 The only thing I find some semblance of comfort in is talking with friends about how I'm feeling. They seem to be able to prop me up momentarily. The passing of time is really the only thing that helps, that, plus NC. All of us here know exactly how you feel, if that is any comfort. You are not alone. 1
headinthecloud Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 You're going through denial at the moment. When you accept that she is never going to contact you and that you're really over, that's when you start your healing process. NC is for you to heal, not a way to get your ex to contact you. That was the hardest thing for me to accept and I held onto to hope that he would reach out to me for 2mos - even though my mind knew he wouldn't. But I knew I had to be strong and move on regardless of my irrational hope. Soon enough I let go of the hope and started to see what really happened. Then anger set in, disappointment that I let myself be manipulated. And now I'm at the stage of acceptance and look forward to indifference. Heartbreak alters the course of your life, and I've had multiple heartbreaks this year, not just romantic. But I have, still am, overcome them one by one. It's just par for life's course. Keep your mind busy. The comfort of your daily habits will fade and you will learn a lot about yourself in the process. 1
headinthecloud Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 The only thing I find some semblance of comfort in is talking with friends about how I'm feeling. They seem to be able to prop me up momentarily. The passing of time is really the only thing that helps, that, plus NC. All of us here know exactly how you feel, if that is any comfort. You are not alone. If friend talk works for you then rotate your friend discussions (talk with a different person each day) but limit your time as they too will have limits to how much they can take about your heartbreak. Ultimately, they want the fun you back and want you to be happy and move on. 2
LadyM Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 If friend talk works for you then rotate your friend discussions (talk with a different person each day) but limit your time as they too will have limits to how much they can take about your heartbreak. Ultimately, they want the fun you back and want you to be happy and move on. You are so right about that! In fact, I only speak to my girlfriends on the rare occasion about the BU because I know it is a tiresome topic. But I do have one male friend who has gone above and beyond helping me for some inexplicable reason. He is there for me whenever I need to talk about the ex and has always given me excellent feedback. He lifted me back up at my lowest points. I don't know how I would have survived this past year without him. But even with him, I try not to take advantage of his kind nature toward me. 1
xUnknown Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 You are so right about that! In fact, I only speak to my girlfriends on the rare occasion about the BU because I know it is a tiresome topic. But I do have one male friend who has gone above and beyond helping me for some inexplicable reason. He is there for me whenever I need to talk about the ex and has always given me excellent feedback. He lifted me back up at my lowest points. I don't know how I would have survived this past year without him. But even with him, I try not to take advantage of his kind nature toward me. This is a special friend. 2
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