jaguar Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I am very shy. I might hold the door open for the girl but picking up the coat and all that might be a little too much for me. Can I not do these things during a date?
soccerrprp Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Chivalry is not natural for most people...period. You have to be very conscious of your actions, but some chivalry is appreciated in my experience. I open all doors for my gf and try to help with coats, seating, but that latter two are not as frequent and natural. It can also be a little awkward.... Do the best you can. 2
FrostBlaze Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 (edited) I am very shy. I might hold the door open for the girl but picking up the coat and all that might be a little too much for me. Can I not do these things during a date? I'm no expert, but from experience. Don't pester yourself to much about it, depends on the woman really, but most don't actually care, in fact that just add's up to the "being the nice guy" thing, wich in most cases as u may know end's up badly for you. All i got to say is be CONFIDENT, don't worry about saying something wrong that will upset her, because u will just end up with a stick up your arse. Soo be confident and make the first moves, etc, they want a MAN. Btw holding the door for what? Is this a first date and you are taking her out to the restaurant or something? i'd say go for parks on 1st dates xD. EDIT: I am chivalrous by instinct, how i was raised,i hold doors for old hags or other people. Most of the time it's left unapreciated, and with the GF's that i have had, in my case it just added up to being a "nice guy", like i said depends on the woman really. But today's youth, they just wanna get right down to it so you gotta get all touchy and be confident, agressive even xD. IN SHORT, YES YOU CANNOT DO THESE THINGS in a date, it will be okay. Edited November 5, 2013 by FrostBlaze
orchids Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I love it, even if it could be engineered. But if some things don't come naturally to you, I'd say skip them, because it can otherwise come off a little awkward. You might have to be careful that you're showing her ample interest in other instances though (if you're interested, that is). 1
gaius Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Just pick up the tab for the dinner/coffee or whatever. Don't worry too much about the other stuff. It can really backfire if you're too uptight about it.
Phoe Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 what is picking up the coat? I don't even know what that means. Holding the door is nice. I am happy when people hold a door for me. I hold the door for others often, I like doing that too. Kind people are cool people. Dude let a super heavy door just drop shut on me the other day. Was really unexpected, came down so fast lol. I think he was in quite a grumpy mood to be honest...
d0nnivain Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Manners & a concern for the other person are important parts of the getting to know you process a/k/a a date At a minimum holding the door open is a good start. If you aren't the type to help a lady on with her coat, OK fine. Personally I love the intimacy of that gesture so you may want to consider getting better at it. Nobody is expecting you to throw your cloak over a puddle but politeness goes a long way
mammasita Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Door, PLEASE do. I make my son hold doors for me. He thinks I being a mean mommy (and I sure do stand there until he opens it LOL) but I say chivalry in the form of holding the door open for a woman is never dead . The chair and coat thing can be a bit awkward so don't do it unless the opportunity is right in your face and it would be absolutely weird NOT to.
mammasita Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Women like to behave like men nowadays so the age of chivalry is gone. Women WERE the fairer sex but that era is long gone now. Replaced by the era of promiscuous party chicks. Absolutely nothing wrong with that but don't waste your energy on chivalry, being good on bed is far more important.. Stop hanging out with hoes and party girls and you wouldn't have this mindset. Just sayin. 1
FrostBlaze Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 (edited) Women like to behave like men nowadays so the age of chivalry is gone. Women WERE the fairer sex but that era is long gone now. Replaced by the era of promiscuous party chicks. Absolutely nothing wrong with that but don't waste your energy on chivalry, being good on bed is far more important.. Agree completely, it's how they are nowadayz. Even the shy ones that aren't party girls...lol fear them, they are dangerous. Even you Mr. Op, you might be shy but just get in there and see how it goes away, your body takes over, if this is like your first date or something. It's how it happened to me when i was on my first, i considered myself shy, after the date i was impressed with myself, didn't know i could do the things i did. Edited November 5, 2013 by FrostBlaze
Kate9292 Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I am very shy. I might hold the door open for the girl but picking up the coat and all that might be a little too much for me. Can I not do these things during a date? You don't have to be, but it helps your chances. I feel really nice whenever a guy treats me like that.
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