My Will Fails

[Lord of Starlight]

Greetings,

For a great many years, since I was a mere child in fact, I have managed to keep my mind free of the emotion of love and all its trappings. I had no problem maintaining this at all until about a year ago when my mind began a revolution against itself. Long did I resist but at last I seem on the edge of ruination.

 

I can tell this from many signs. Most terrifying is the amount of trust I have in a certain person and how they are free of my normal constant association of anything living to its eventual demise. I would hate to have endured through the many ailments my mind gave to me for my struggle to have been utterly in vain. As such I turn to you, people with far more experience than I, to ask for your aid in resisting the effects of the fiendish emotion of love.

 

I beg you to advice me with haste as I fear that the time I have left is best measured in hours or days rather than weeks, I already feel gnawing loneliness beginning to dominate my thoughts.

 

I thank you for your adivce and assistance.

[Philosoraptor]

Got a good reason to run away from your feelings? As all I read is someone scared and trying to run away from what is coming natural to them.

[Lord of Starlight]

I in no way deny being a massive coward. Indeed my reasons stem from the past and are perhaps obsolete by this time. I cannot explain the validity of my reasons as much of my reasons are merely me being paranoid.

[Philosoraptor]

Well then stop overthinking things and go with the flow. Nothing to lose really here.

[Lord of Starlight]

That seems very logical but what should I do then, tear my friendship asunder in a nigh hopeless quest for companionship?

[Philosoraptor]

Sure would have been better to know right off the bat rather than wasting an entire year trying to resist and getting nowhere. A firm answer would either open up a whole new world for you, or help you close that door as there would be no more "what if".

[Lord of Starlight]

I see your point. Reasoned thought never was my strong suit. I do not doubt the wisdom of your words, only the limits of my courage.

[Philosoraptor]

Every moment you spend resisting, thinking "what if", suffering over your feelings.... are all moments you could be spending happy whether that means this person takes to your feelings... or getting freedom from all of these questions in your head.

[Lord of Starlight]

Once again you are correct. I shall simply need to discern a manner of informing this poor person. All of my experiences thus far are from the books I read and I don't think that cutting jewels from the crown of the god of evil or slaying a thousand warriors of darkness are viable methods of expressing your feelings to somebody.

[AnyaNova]

I think that you are overthinking your own end of things and underthinking hers. I am assuming her, forgive me if I am wrong.

 

Because if she loves you already, and you choose to hide, to do nothing, to ignore her out of fear.

 

You don't just hurt yourself. And don't tell yourself bs about how she'll be happier in the long run. Most likely, she won't.

 

You hurt her too. You try to minimize your own pain, but you do so at the expense of someone else, her.

 

Let's just say I am fairly sure my situation arose out of a very similar state of mind on his part. And the truth of it is, the thing I never wanted to see about him or say about him is this. It is selfish. He was being selfish. Still is, actually.

 

But to minimize the risk of his own pain, he fobs it off on others, those he claims to care about and who care about him. And refuses to be there for them, even as a friend, when they need him.

 

Don't be this. Don't be selfish. You are stronger than that. You are stronger than him.

 

Think about her and how she feels.

[StanMusial]

What in the hell

[Lord of Starlight]

I think that you are overthinking your own end of things and underthinking hers. I am assuming her, forgive me if I am wrong.

 

Because if she loves you already, and you choose to hide, to do nothing, to ignore her out of fear.

 

You don't just hurt yourself. And don't tell yourself bs about how she'll be happier in the long run. Most likely, she won't.

 

You hurt her too. You try to minimize your own pain, but you do so at the expense of someone else, her.

 

Let's just say I am fairly sure my situation arose out of a very similar state of mind on his part. And the truth of it is, the thing I never wanted to see about him or say about him is this. It is selfish. He was being selfish. Still is, actually.

 

But to minimize the risk of his own pain, he fobs it off on others, those he claims to care about and who care about him. And refuses to be there for them, even as a friend, when they need him.

 

Don't be this. Don't be selfish. You are stronger than that. You are stronger than him.

 

Think about her and how she feels.

 

I have, but I only see resentment. I am far from desirable in any sense it seems like a great betrayal of friendship to act upon my own wants.

[flight E]

You talk strange. Infact you strange. Hope you don't talk lik dis to the girl as you are obviously a guy. You'd scare her. Anyways it may just be your style of disguise

[Lord of Starlight]

I talk like this to everybody. In fact it is significantly more pronounced in my verbal speech.