katiebabie Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I'll preface this by apologizing for how long my thread is! So 2 weeks ago I had a one night stand. The next morning was different though as we talking for a few hours and it wasn't even awkward! Needless to say, I was semi-bummed that we had the one night stand as he was a really cool guy that I wish I had chosen a different route with. Anyways, after he left I knew I wouldn't see or hear from him and I went on with my day and forgot about it. Exactly a week later (Saturday) he text me at 2 am and we chatted for a few texts but I told him I was going to bed (obviously he wanted to hook up again). He text me the next morning saying sorry for passing out the previous night and that he hoped I had a good night and would like to hang out sometime. Again, kinda in one ear out the other as I still felt like he wanted a hookup. Then on Monday night he randomly saw me taking a class at the gym and text me that night asking if it was indeed me. Long story short we were texting for a bit that night and he asked me out on a date...random! So he took me on the date the following night (Tues), and by all accounts we both had a blast. He was really nice and actually a total gentleman (he even opened my car door for me when he picked me up) and afterwards when he dropped me off I invited him in...because we've already had sex. I'm not just going to randomly take it off the table. But anyways, he hung out, hooked up and he spent the night, kissed me goodbye before work and even text me a few hours later. A few days after that I text him over the weekend while he was on business and got a few texts out of him but he definitely didnt respond to the last one and I havent heard from him since...so 3 days now. I have no idea how to navigate this whole thing! If he just wanted a hook up, then why the date? I am new to the dating world and have NO clue what is going on here. Any insight or advice would be lovely
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 How else was he supposed to hook-up with you if you weren't willing to take his 2 am booty call? He took you on a "date", he raised the bar for himself, spent time with you, treated you nicely and then hooked up again. If he wants to seriously date he'd be more consistent, otherwise you just sound like an option, you still provide the booty too...I don't think he's going see a problem with that arrangement for whatever it is. 3
Author katiebabie Posted November 5, 2013 Author Posted November 5, 2013 Good points, thank's for the feedback! Is is even possible to take sex off the table at this point? Assuming we have another date, that is.
Emilia Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Probably a bit late for that now, it either turns into something more or he is bored already because you don't have a connection. I think there were two guys over the years with whom I had sex too quickly thinking there wouldn't be more but we grew to like each other. We took sex off the table for a couple of dates at least when we wanted to see how it would grow. We did that straight away though and from the point of view that we wanted to see how we got on without the hormones complicating things. Not sure whether this ship has sailed for you though unfortunately.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Good points, thank's for the feedback! Is is even possible to take sex off the table at this point? Assuming we have another date, that is. Nah you're screwed in that respect if you were to just tell him....you just have to be one of those free-spirited types that says sex doesn't change whether a relationship will come out of it or not and just hope you get lucky. Don't answer his late night booty calls and just see if he makes any effort to take you out again, and try to make it a day date instead where you don't just come back to your place or his. If you keep giving out the honey easily then he'll have no reason to actually prove if he sees anything more in you than just sex, he's probably having sex with other women like this as well. So don't get your hopes too high and start pining/chasing after him because you "want to know what he wants"...if you're smart then let him make the effort then reciprocate, otherwise be prepared to be strung along in this pseudo dating phase where he just sees you off and on for some easy sex with another women he gets along with. If he's interested he's going to be present and consistent and he'll want to see you often, otherwise just a side thing.
Uwaae Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I think you can still have a relationship with him that is more than sexual. You just have to think better about yourself, and actually think that you deserve this and not just Wham bams. Work on your self confidence, and contact him again, if you want to know more about him
d0nnivain Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 You could try calling him & asking him out on a sepcific date & a certain time. Whether you have sex or not, that action makes it clear that you are interested in more than just a booty call. If he doesn't respond favorably to your invitation, he probably only wanted one thing.
devilish innocent Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 You don't have to keep sleeping with the guy just because you've slept with him before. You could still tell him you like as a potential partner and want to get to know him better without sex confusing things. That would be the best way to find out if he just wants sex or not. If you aren't going to take sex completely off together, then at least make sure that less than a third of time your together is spent being physically intimate. If you hear back from him, then have him show you he's willing to invest the time into you. 1
Phantom888 Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Do you have one-night-stands with strangers frequently? Maybe he thinks you do that with all the guys so eventually he lost interest? Sex could be good, but he probably doesn't want a promiscuous girlfriend.
Charlie Harper Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 TALK to him, say what you feel, what you want and see where the dust settles... OMG why people can't be direct, truthful and forthcoming.... If you like him go for it, if it was only sex, at least it was good, what the heck are you waiting for...?
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