The Mystifying World of Online Dating/Vent

[StrongLass]

So I took some advice from my two friends/roommates (who met each other on POF) to set up a POF profile at the end of September.

 

Within 20 mins of making my profile public I had the maximum number of messages you can get in one day (I now partly attribute that to the ONLY old picture I had uploaded that showed me with longer hair, I have since added 4 more that show me as I am right NOW)

 

I've probably messaged/been messaged by over 30 guys at this point & am actively talking to about 4, I've met up with 2 in person.

 

Guy #1 is nice and we've been on 5-6 ish dates (and have slept together) but I don't feel he's entirely a good match (he disagrees)...and this is in large part to me thinking about guy #2 all the time.

 

Problem is, guy I haven't heard from guy #2 in 7 days. We went on 3 dates, slept together on the second (yeah, yeah, I know what people will say to that but I have ZERO regrets about it) and we were texting each other frequently-ish (sometimes once or twice spanning over 2 days, I'm not a clingy person AT ALL).

 

He was the last one to text but it wasn't the type of text that necessarily warrants a reply (ie just a statement continuing the non-offensive text convo we'd been having, phrased very warmly & non-cooly, sent almost immediately after I'd sent mine) and I never sent any message back.

 

I've since opened a second dating account on another site & started talking to someone promising over there & let Guy #1 know about my feelings about where I stand with him as of now. (He took it well & was appreciative)

 

Guy #2 and I have a LOT in common, he introduced me to his best friend as well as his brother, took me over to his place where I met his dog & I learned more about him... I know a whole multitude of things could have happened but I guess I'm just a bit confused everyone.

 

Thoughts? Aside from the fact that I analyze the world WAY too much? lol

[MrCastle]

He was the last to contact you and you didn't send anything back.

 

When the convo ends, it ends, and obviously it has to stop sometime, but for me, it's then on the other person to start the next convo. Even if his particular text warranted no response on your part, the next day, or few days, a new conversation should have started with you sending a text.

 

Anyway, if he has gone a week without hearing from you maybe he is not as into you as you are into him.

[StrongLass]

He was the last to contact you and you didn't send anything back.

 

When the convo ends, it ends, and obviously it has to stop sometime, but for me, it's then on the other person to start the next convo. Even if his particular text warranted no response on your part, the next day, or few days, a new conversation should have started with you sending a text.

 

Yeah I thought of that, but I didn't want to be barraging him with texts all the time, I wouldn't have time for that anyways. I was thinking I might shoot him a text later this week when I go on a hike we'd been planning to go on so that he'll at least have the opportunity to reaffirm interest (if he has any).

 

Anyway, if he has gone a week without hearing from you maybe he is not as into you as you are into him.

 

I am prepared for the worst, but I always try to assume nothing.

[StrongLass]

Try texting number 2 again. What's the worst that could happen? Ask him out again...

 

In my opinion AGH you're one of the few posters who consistently offers up good advice, so I'll do it tomorrow & let you know how it goes over *gulp*

[Uwaae]

My thoughts are that, guy no. 2 is playing the field.

Kinda what youre doing, as he should...

[Conners]

He probably doesn't want to seem clingy and double text you.. I've been with my boyfriend nearly a year and to this day I still do not like to double text him and be clingy. If he REALLY likes you though, i'm sure he would make an effort to send you a text after a week.

[StrongLass]

Well guys, I sent the text midday Wednesday & he replied later in the evening (he doesn't get off work till 9pm) The text led to a conversation which led to a movie date which led to me spending the night... :3

 

We spend most of today hanging out. Things ended with him kissing me good night, lending me one of his favorite books & offering his place as somewhere to crash if I need to (if I get hired at a new position my commute would be ridiculous)

 

Sooo even if they're no guarantees in life this is all good right? lol

[StrongLass]

Well, that's over now :/ He came by my place Thursday, treated me out to hot chocolate & a pleasant, lively conversation. Afterwards told me that things were "getting more serious than he wanted them to" & that an old flame/interest (nothing had ever really happened) has come back into his life. He said that even though he "could be making a huge mistake" he wanted to end things with me now before they had a chance to get ugly and that this had absolutely nothing to do with me quote: "you're one of the coolest people I've ever met".

 

I impressed him by taking it "really well" (his own words) & he asked if we could be friends. I told him that I would end up wanting more & thanked him for being honest with me. As I got out of his car he came around the side and gave me a hug.

 

I still have his book. As far as I'm concerned he has my phone # & knows where I live so he can come get it if it's that important to him.

 

Good thing I never stopped seeing/talking to other guys, right? NEXT!!!

[ThatMan]

This is a good read for all guys doing OLD.

 

If you think you're the only one dating a girl that's on these sites, you're wrong and you're getting played.

 

This is why it's so hard to find good women these days.

This is a reality in any form of dating. Sorry...

 

Whether or not somebody plays the field is subjective to each individual. There's plenty of players and that's okay. What's important is your own ability articulate wants and needs while respecting yourself. If you don't like what you see then feel free to walk away and find someone different.

Edited November 25, 2013 by ThatMan

[MalachiX]

Some people have a good time playing the field. They can date multiple people at once and sleep with them without it being an issue.

 

Others (such as myself) don't really like to date more than one person at a time because it gets confusing. After I've had a few dates with a person (and definately after we've slept together); I'm not going to pursue anyone else. That doesn't mean we're an item, it just means that I think it's worth me focusing on this while we try to figure out if this might work.

 

The problem becomes when the first type of person (who plays the field) goes out with the second type (who doesn't). Sometimes the first type is honest and that's fine. The second type knows what they're getting into and is willing to risk it. Unfortunately, very often the player (so to speak); avoids being clear. They may not lie but they often avoid talking about it or subtly mislead the other person. They may say, "I just don't want to get into anything super-serious too fast as I've been hurt before and I value my independence" when they really mean, "I'm dating and sleeping with other people and I don't want to tell you because then you might not keep seeing me." I don't like this situation because one person is basically using the other. Once again, usually there is a gray area that the player uses to make themselves feel better. They'll tell the non-player just enough to quell their conscience but they won't tell them the full story because they know deep down that the other person wouldn't accept it.

 

So...what are my thoughts on the your online experience? Sounds like you strung along guy #1 while you were hoping for guy #2. If you were totally clear with guy #1 about seeing and sleeping with other people then that's fine. If you weren't totally upfront then I pity the other guys dating you. I think you're doing the same kinda thing that women always complain about men doing and it always sucks for the people that get hurt.

[MalachiX]

P.S. How is your experience "mystifying" or something you need to "vent" about? Sounds like you're getting to have your cake and eat it too.

[MalachiX]

Whoever marries this girl will be in for a rude awakening....when she continues her multi-dating into their marriage.

 

I don't really know how this girl operates so I don't want to judge too much.

 

I just know what I've seen from watching some of my close guy friends multi-date. They convince themselves that they're being honest but they actually are misleading people.

 

They'll say, "I like both these girls and I'm not sure which one I want. This one's more fun to talk to but this one's great in bed."

 

I'll then ask, "do they know that you're seeing someone else."

 

They'll they'll say, "well, I told them I was recently in a long relationship and don't want anything super serious just yet. That's true."

 

I'll then point out, "yes, but it's not the whole truth. You're making it seem like you're just taking things slow without telling them that you're doing this because you're looking at other options." Then, the killer is, I'll usually ask, "do you think they're sleeping with anyone else?"

 

And they'll usually say, "No, I don't think so. I wouldn't be going out with them if they were. I know it might not be fair but I don't like to sleep with someone if they're sleeping with other people."

 

At that point, I usually say, "you're using these people and that sucks" before dismissing myself from the conversation.

 

 

Using people sucks. I don't think it's cool for guys to do it and I don't think it's cool for women to do it. I hope the OP isn't doing it. On the plus side, doing this rarely leads to the kind of stable relationship that I think a lot of mult-daters really want. The problem is that, when you keep using person after person, you constantly want validation from the people you date and have trouble really making a relationship work. If you meet someone who you might really like, you tend to screw it up by coming on too strong too fast or by seeking out others the second something goes wrong in the relationship (and thus screwing it up).

[StrongLass]

So...what are my thoughts on the your online experience? Sounds like you strung along guy #1 while you were hoping for guy #2.

 

Guy #2 & I had an understanding that we didn't have anything official unless it was discussed, meaning that we weren't exclusive. Last time I checked that's how sane people approach dating rather than pouring all their attention on ONE person they don't even really know yet.

 

If you were totally clear with guy #1 about seeing and sleeping with other people then that's fine.

 

Yeah, I was.

[StrongLass]

I don't really know how this girl operates so I don't want to judge too much.

 

I just know what I've seen from watching some of my close guy friends multi-date. They convince themselves that they're being honest but they actually are misleading people.

 

They'll say, "I like both these girls and I'm not sure which one I want. This one's more fun to talk to but this one's great in bed."

 

I'll then ask, "do they know that you're seeing someone else."

 

They'll they'll say, "well, I told them I was recently in a long relationship and don't want anything super serious just yet. That's true."

 

I'll then point out, "yes, but it's not the whole truth. You're making it seem like you're just taking things slow without telling them that you're doing this because you're looking at other options." Then, the killer is, I'll usually ask, "do you think they're sleeping with anyone else?"

 

And they'll usually say, "No, I don't think so. I wouldn't be going out with them if they were. I know it might not be fair but I don't like to sleep with someone if they're sleeping with other people."

 

Yeah that's not how I operate. I don't know if you've seen anything else I've posted, but not that long ago I was in a toxic relationship that lasted 3 years, so at this point I'm just trying to meet new people & get back out there.

 

The problem is that, when you keep using person after person, you constantly want validation from the people you date and have trouble really making a relationship work. If you meet someone who you might really like, you tend to screw it up by coming on too strong too fast or by seeking out others the second something goes wrong in the relationship (and thus screwing it up).

 

That's just it though. I was getting the feeling that there was something holding guy #2 back from committing (this turned out to be another girl...something everyone posting here seems to be missing) so I continued dating/talking to other guys to avoid getting in too deep. Everything I'm doing in my love life currently is to ultimately protect myself while avoiding hurting others, because I've had a habit in the past of not protecting myself as much as I should have.

[StrongLass]

Whoever marries this girl will be in for a rude awakening....when she continues her multi-dating into their marriage.

 

...Excuse me? You're presuming a lot with this comment. If I'm married than I won't be doing anything other than date nights with my husband. Right now I'm single & just trying to have fun.

[StrongLass]

Sounds like you're getting to have your cake and eat it too.

 

If that were true than guy #2 would still be around. But he's chosen to pursue someone who isn't me. How am I winning there?

[StrongLass]

This is a good read for all guys doing OLD.

 

If you think you're the only one dating a girl that's on these sites, you're wrong and you're getting played.

 

This is why it's so hard to find good women these days.

 

...Did you somehow miss the piece of info that involved him wanting to pursue another woman who's been in the background this entire time?

Edited November 26, 2013 by StrongLass

[MalachiX]

Guy #2 & I had an understanding that we didn't have anything official unless it was discussed, meaning that we weren't exclusive. Last time I checked that's how sane people approach dating rather than pouring all their attention on ONE person they don't even really know yet.

 

I don't know if there's any "sane" approach to dating. I kinda like the quote I heard from the Her trailer:

 

"[Falling in love] is kinda like a form of socially acceptable insanity."

 

Personally, I don't think it's insanity to give someone you really like a shot and stop fooling around with other people while you guys are trying to figure it out. Yeah, you might get burned but so what? If you don't wanna take any risks then get out of the game.

 

Guy #1 was actually the guy I felt kinda bad for. Once again, I don't know what conversations you had with him but it sounds like you kept going out with him/sleeping with him so he'd be a back-up option even though you knew that you were really interested in guy #2. But I don't know. Maybe you were super clear and said, "Hey, it's cool if you're getting feelings for me but I'm not all that interested because I'm seeing/sleeping-with someone else who I like more. We can still keep going out if you're cool with just hanging around as an option if this other guy doesn't work out." If you were that clear with him and he was fine then that's not on you (though he'd probably have some serious self-esteem issues).

 

What seems to happen more often though is that people who are dating/sleeping-with more than one person at once usually leave things just vague enough so they don't risk losing the person they're stringing along. That always sucks when that happens.

 

Yeah that's not how I operate. I don't know if you've seen anything else I've posted, but not that long ago I was in a toxic relationship that lasted 3 years, so at this point I'm just trying to meet new people & get back out there.

 

I haven't seen anything else you've posted so it's totally possible everything I said may not apply to you.

 

As I mentioned before, what I described was based on what I've seen with guy friends (sometimes girls) who tend to like the playing the field approach.

 

That's just it though. I was getting the feeling that there was something holding guy #2 back from committing (this turned out to be another girl...something everyone posting here seems to be missing) so I continued dating/talking to other guys to avoid getting in too deep. Everything I'm doing in my love life currently is to ultimately protect myself while avoiding hurting others, because I've had a habit in the past of not protecting myself as much as I should have.

 

I guess what i'm rather confused about is why you said you're "mystified" about this and need to "vent." It sounds like you kept guy #1 on the hook in the hopes something would develop with guy #2 only to find that guy #2 was actually keeping you on the hook. My guess is that you're not thrilled about that because, if you were, I don't think you would have made this thread. On some level it stings.

 

If I'm right (and I may not be); then I think you kinda need to re-evaluate the way you're doing this. It's odd to act hurt about guy #2 stringing you along only to do it to someone else. An attitude like that is why people tend to be so distrustful in the dating process.

 

As for protecting yourself, I've seen that used as an excuse for a lot of insensitive things that people do in dating. So often people are worried that someone their with might not be giving them their full attention so their solution is to do the same with several other people. Call me crazy but I don't think this helps the problem. It seems to just create an environment where everybody is using each other and they can justify all the hurt people by saying, "don't hate the player, hate the game."

[StrongLass]

Personally, I don't think it's insanity to give someone you really like a shot and stop fooling around with other people while you guys are trying to figure it out. Yeah, you might get burned but so what? If you don't wanna take any risks then get out of the game.

 

I was prepared to do that with guy #2, & the minute I realized that I gave guy #1 a call & let him go.

 

Guy #1 was actually the guy I felt kinda bad for. Once again, I don't know what conversations you had with him but it sounds like you kept going out with him/sleeping with him so he'd be a back-up option even though you knew that you were really interested in guy #2. But I don't know. Maybe you were super clear and said, "Hey, it's cool if you're getting feelings for me but I'm not all that interested because I'm seeing/sleeping-with someone else who I like more. We can still keep going out if you're cool with just hanging around as an option if this other guy doesn't work out." If you were that clear with him and he was fine then that's not on you (though he'd probably have some serious self-esteem issues).

 

That's what I did immediately after reflecting, I called him & told him I thought that there were better matches out there for both of us & that I knew this because I'd met one so continuing wouldn't be fair to him. The idea of using someone as backup sickens me because I've been used that way myself.

 

What seems to happen more often though is that people who are dating/sleeping-with more than one person at once usually leave things just vague enough so they don't risk losing the person they're stringing along. That always sucks when that happens.

 

Yeah, that's a big part of why I did things the way I did. Guy #1 was actually pretty appreciative that I was courteous/ballsy enough to give him a call & tell him what's up. He's used to girls just kind of fading out apparently which would've been a kinda a douchey thing to do after 6-10 dates + sleeping together I think.

 

I haven't seen anything else you've posted so it's totally possible everything I said may not apply to you.

 

Understood, I just wasn't expecting so much bitter criticism with my follow up on this situation, especially considering how supportive the first few repliers were. Apparently a lot of people read into what I did WAY differently than I had intended. Guess that's my fault for not putting in more details, but who wants to read a dissertation a mile long?

 

I guess what i'm rather confused about is why you said you're "mystified" about this and need to "vent."

 

Not every thread title I come up with is a winner, especially when I don't know what on Earth to call something. lol Have you ever TRIED online dating? People will talk to you non stop for a week before vanishing forever after making plans to meetup...it can be perplexing. I guess I was thinking about that when I wrote the title rather than specifying. Sorry it ended up being so ambiguous/off.

 

It sounds like you kept guy #1 on the hook in the hopes something would develop with guy #2 only to find that guy #2 was actually keeping you on the hook.

 

Actually by this point guy #1 was long gone due to me letting him go. For the past few weeks I'd been dating other guys but only sleeping with guy #2.

 

My guess is that you're not thrilled about that because, if you were, I don't think you would have made this thread. On some level it stings.

 

Considering how guy #2 was my favorite out of everyone I'd been talking to? Yeah, I'm not. Which is part of why I'm acting kinda cavalier about it. What else can I do? Gotta move past it somehow.

 

 

As for protecting yourself, I've seen that used as an excuse for a lot of insensitive things that people do in dating. So often people are worried that someone their with might not be giving them their full attention so their solution is to do the same with several other people. Call me crazy but I don't think this helps the problem. It seems to just create an environment where everybody is using each other and they can justify all the hurt people by saying, "don't hate the player, hate the game."

 

I can see that, but I don't think I'll have much to worry about so long as I'm honest with everyone involved (btw I really hate that saying.)

Edited November 26, 2013 by StrongLass

[MalachiX]

Understood, I just wasn't expecting so much bitter criticism with my follow up on this situation, especially considering how supportive the first few repliers were. Apparently a lot of people read into what I did WAY differently than I had intended. Guess that's my fault for not putting in more details, but who wants to read a dissertation a mile long?

 

I really hope I didn't come across bitter. I'm not a fan of cynicism. I think people are capable of being honest and fair but too often we don't hold ourselves to a high enough standard. When I go off on a rant it's usually because I see generally kind people who let themselves treat others badly because they think it's acceptable.

 

Certainly didn't mean to draw a target on you. I just listen to my fellow guys talk and I frankly hate the way they operate because I know they wouldn't like to be treated that way were the situation reversed. I don't think men hold a monopoly on this kind of treatment as I've seen women do it to. I just think we all can do better.

 

 

 

Not every thread title I come up with is a winner, especially when I don't know what on Earth to call something. lol Have you ever TRIED online dating? People will talk to you non stop for a week before vanishing forever after making plans to meetup...it can be perplexing. I guess I was thinking about that when I wrote the title rather than specifying. Sorry it ended up being so ambiguous/off.

 

Yeah, I've tried it. Had some bad experiences and a couple of short relationships. Interesting enough, the disappearing act you describe actually got me to stop doing it for a while. I would have a what seemed to be a really genuine and interesting conversation with a young woman. We'd message back and forth, asking about each other's lives and laughing at each other's jokes. After about three or four rounds of the back and forth, I'd ask if she wanted to meet up only to have her never respond again. This actually happened three times in a row. I'm still not sure what the deal was but I have a feeling that some people get on these sites without the intention of ever actually meeting. I could be wrong but I think some may be doing this while in a relationship because they enjoy the attention and conversation but get frightened at the prospect of a real meeting because it makes things too real. I've known of married guys who do this.

 

Actually by this point guy #1 was long gone due to me letting him go. For the past few weeks I'd been dating other guys but only sleeping with guy #2.

 

Good to know. It sounded from your post like you were sleeping with them at the same time. Some people are cool with that but the vast majority of those I've met aren't. Most people I know (men and women) say they don't want to sleep with someone who is currently having sex with other people.

 

Glad you were upfront. Over the summer I went out with one girl who I met online. Didn't feel a huge connection but thought it might be fun to see her again. The following week I went on a much nicer date with someone else. I got texted about going out again by girl #1 and immediately responded, "hey, I just met someone and I kinda wanna see where it goes." That's basically been my MO throughout.

 

Considering how guy #2 was my favorite out of everyone I'd been talking to? Yeah, I'm not. Which is part of why I'm acting kinda cavalier about it. What else can I do? Gotta move past it somehow.

 

It always stings but we all have to deal with it. As long as you treat people the way you'd like to be treated I think you'll be allright. Look at it this way: If you're getting a full inboxes and steady stream of dates you're doing better than a lot of us in OLD.

[odin673]

Guy #2 had an old flame come back into his life but hooked up with you anyways. Sounds like he just dumped a bunch of BS on you and you fell for it. He doesn't want anything serious. All the same.

 

Why pursue someone that is fine not talking to you for a whole week? Reeks of insanity.

[StrongLass]

Sounds like he just dumped a bunch of BS on you and you fell for it. He doesn't want anything serious.

 

Potentially, but he also could have tried to drag things out until they got REALLY ugly but he didn't. As far as ends go I think this one's not that bad. Besides, even if that all WAS a pile of BS he did me a favor by removing himself from my life so that I could find someone who will appreciate what I have to offer.

 

Why pursue someone that is fine not talking to you for a whole week?

 

I see what you're saying, but it was actually a nice change for me since my ex was a manipulative stage 5 clinger type. o.O Plus, we hadn't exactly discussed official relationship status so there weren't exactly a lot of expectations/obligations for either of us to fulfill to each other.

 

Reeks of insanity.

 

There be method in mine odin, there be method.

[nomadic_butterfly]

This is a good read for all guys doing OLD.

 

If you think you're the only one dating a girl that's on these sites, you're wrong and you're getting played.

 

This is why it's so hard to find good women these days.

 

LMBO...don't know why this got me laughing hysterically. This is in part why I had a two year hiatus and then I recently lasted maybe 2 weeks OLD after meeting up with 3 guys. Only 1 out of the 3 I went out on a few dates with. We spent two whole weekends (6 days total). Weekend #1 he was coming on strong (way too strong) and I met all his friends and hung out at his place. Weekend #2 I met his mentor, went to UA meeting with him, we kissed and other "stuff" (no we didn't sleep together) and then I suggested to take him up on weekend #1's offer to to get to know each other 1 on 1 and suddenly had to "think about it." He then vehemently denied saying it during weekend #1 and wanted me to acquiesce but I said hell to the NO; I know what YOU said and what I said and WHEN and I am not going to change my recollection to suit YOU.

 

This buster also told me "he only has sex in relationships" yet BOTH WEEKENDS HE WAS TRYING TO GET TO 4th base. Yea, you are SOOO relationship minded that you are flakey and trying to get in my pants WITHOUT knowing long term compatibility. Then he dropped the double bomb that his ex gf (who is still in love with him) wanted to spend the night on his couch that week. He asked me how I felt about it and then the next day I told him it makes me uncomfortable considering she still has feelings and then told me we are not at a point where it mattered in so many words. So logically, why the freak did you ask if it didn't matter? He read me the text she sent saying "it's ok if she can't" so I said, well "it's ok" meant she had options obviously. He "didnt want to be unsupportive." BS. At that point he had told her about me too. What convenient timing. He also proceeded to tell me how many other girls had the hots for him (online and at work) as an FYI. I'm like really, well I can say the same for me wtf is your point? LOL. So over it. I don't like ANY form of sexual contact if I know the other party is slutting it up. NO THANKS there are too many nasty diseases out there and I am not trying to catch any of them!

 

OLD presents too many choices all at once all the more reason to be double minded,confused, and flakey. Fosters too many grass is greener complexes.

Edited November 28, 2013 by nomadic_butterfly

[irc333]

I am kind of curious as to why you're having casual sex with them?

 

 

 

So I took some advice from my two friends/roommates (who met each other on POF) to set up a POF profile at the end of September.

 

Within 20 mins of making my profile public I had the maximum number of messages you can get in one day (I now partly attribute that to the ONLY old picture I had uploaded that showed me with longer hair, I have since added 4 more that show me as I am right NOW)

 

I've probably messaged/been messaged by over 30 guys at this point & am actively talking to about 4, I've met up with 2 in person.

 

Guy #1 is nice and we've been on 5-6 ish dates (and have slept together) but I don't feel he's entirely a good match (he disagrees)...and this is in large part to me thinking about guy #2 all the time.

 

Problem is, guy I haven't heard from guy #2 in 7 days. We went on 3 dates, slept together on the second (yeah, yeah, I know what people will say to that but I have ZERO regrets about it) and we were texting each other frequently-ish (sometimes once or twice spanning over 2 days, I'm not a clingy person AT ALL).

 

He was the last one to text but it wasn't the type of text that necessarily warrants a reply (ie just a statement continuing the non-offensive text convo we'd been having, phrased very warmly & non-cooly, sent almost immediately after I'd sent mine) and I never sent any message back.

 

I've since opened a second dating account on another site & started talking to someone promising over there & let Guy #1 know about my feelings about where I stand with him as of now. (He took it well & was appreciative)

 

Guy #2 and I have a LOT in common, he introduced me to his best friend as well as his brother, took me over to his place where I met his dog & I learned more about him... I know a whole multitude of things could have happened but I guess I'm just a bit confused everyone.

 

Thoughts? Aside from the fact that I analyze the world WAY too much? lol

[lino]

P.S. How is your experience "mystifying" or something you need to "vent" about? Sounds like you're getting to have your cake and eat it too.

 

I was thinking the same thing.

 

Someone opens an online dating account, receives many messages, interacts with several men, dates several men, sleeps with multiple men, etc

 

All in a relatively short period of time as well.

 

Where exactly is the problem?

 

Very stark contrast between what is being posted here and how the average bloke on this site talks about his online dating experiences. I'd say most of them would be happy with 1/100th of the experience the OP is having.

 

From what I read on this website, I can't think of a worse avenue than online dating for a guy to meet women. Sounds like a huge sh*t fight to me.