hobbes47 Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 this has a familiar recipe in places but for the most part is unique. my ex was in my country learning english, she left her boyfriend of the time to be here and while here they fought and broke up. two monthes after she met me and we went out for seven monthes till she had to go home to finish the final six months of college two-three weeks after moving back she has gotten back with him and now he's posting excessive amounts of photos on facebook saying how much he loves her. he's that kind of bf. while she was here he was communicating with her every once in a while but they hadnt spoke in nearly two monthes before she went back, and he could see that she was with someone. i was present for a phone call where he called to ask if she was still coming back in september.... hurt like sh*t to know he was linning up his move! and i told her this. she said she loved me, we lived together for two and a half monthes, i met the mother over skype (divorcee, garuantee she hates the idea of her daughter moving away for long term. all she said to me was "when can i have my daughter back" in her language). we were talking about meeting up again 'someday' towards the end, to continue the relationship. her friend moved to france, fell in love and had a lover return to her country with her. he hated it and moved back to france. now the friend is miserable in a long distant relationship. she told me about this, and one the thing she said to me was that if there was a way for her to return she would, but it was better not to suffer. this might mean nothing now that she's with him. now that everyhtings happened, and we've fought about her getting back with him (a bit selfish by me im realising, she has the right to) we're in the communication blackout. it's been three weeks since we talk but maybe five since it was a real conversation and not something about the relationship and them. i believe that this wont last, most people ive talked to seem 50/50. i want her to know that im still open to us in a year, two years. do i keep talking to her? do i wait another month? xmas?? or do i just sit back and let them be a couple and hope she comes back to talk to me again? all the usual questions are there. do you still love? are you chosing him over me or that it's too hard for you to move away and you're just seeing what he has to offer? i did feel a bit selfish making her leave her life permanantly but i did specify that i didnt want to stay where i live now. she has a really good degree - on the way - and i just started college to make myself able to leave. it was short but it was my first, and now i dont know the rules cause she was like my best friend and now she doesn't even talk to me, it's like she's pushing me out of her life! can she really not care about me anymore when i did nothing to her? any help is appreciated, cheers for reading guys.
todreaminblue Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 my advice is engage her tell her how you feel or let her go and mvoe forward yrouself if you are insecure about engaging with her....adn opening your self up she sint the one for you.......you arent strong enough to put your foot down and keep her satisfied........her ex obviously has........dont be a door mat waiting to get trodden on ...take what you want because it wont be handed to you on a silver platter if she says no, you disengage with a shrug and say your loss...i wish you well....then its on her...move forward soldier..strategy for you to be happy....debbie
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