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How to fix/deal with timing issues


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Posted

BACKGROUND: Dating 1 year, exclusively for 6 months

 

ME: Married for 18 years, separated for 4 years/divorced for 3 years, age=47

 

HIM: Married for 26 years, separated for 1.5 years/divorced 1 year, age=51, emotionally detached from wife for the last 10years, had some affairs.

 

We've known each other for 4 years, friends only, until his divorce was final did we know there was a mutual attraction.

 

His actions are totally different than his words. He tells me he loves me, likes me, he initiates all dates, movies, trips, makes me dinner, treats me like a princess. His family knows about me, but lives half way across country so we have not met, although I have met his son. I've met his friends and even been on vacation with friends of his. When I look at the list of "is he into you", all signs point to yes. We both agree that everything clicks, communication, emotional/mental/physical intimacy, sense of humor, values, etc., EVERYTHING except the "timing".

 

He said he needs time, is not ready to commit to a long-term relationship and this is the only thing we disagree about. I'm not ready to move in with anyone for 2 years, I'm not asking to be engaged, just continued monogamy.

 

I'm totally confused. His actions say one thing and his words say another. Does anyone have any insight on how to proceed?

Posted

How important are labels to you? If his actions are telling you he's committed, stop pressing him for the words for a while. However, if his actions are saying that he wants to be footloose & fancy free, re-evaluate how important this relationship is to you.

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