LivingDeadGrl Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 I met this guy online and we really hit it off, we spent 2 weeks talking every night on the phone and texting throughout the day. I developed really strong feelings for him and he for me. I was so happy I had finally found someone normal and together... We couldn't stop thinking about one another, it was extrmemely intense. We both had never experienced anything like this... We had set up a date to meet and we were both super excited. Then he sort of dropped a bomb on me...He was acting weird and I could tell something was up… so he finally says he has to tell me something and I’m going to hate him… I said call me! He basically told me that he is experiencing a “catfish” thing with a woman from another town (its about 6 hr drive from here) and that he has been talking with her for 6 months and never met her, that he had feelings for her in the beginning but now thinks she’s crazy and got rid of her just before meeting me… So he met me, and has these hardcore feelings for me, and I guess now she’s going insane calling and emailing and texting him off the hook since saying she’s going to kill herself if she loses him. He said he thought he was out of the situation and it was done but apparently not…I told him I didn’t have time for this BS, and that I just spent 3 years with a guy who always had a woman in the background and that I wasn’t going to do it. He said he doesn’t want to pass up his chance with me and to give him a few days to figure out how to get rid of her the proper way. He said he doesn't want to start anything with me until she is completely gone out of his life. He actually thinks she will kill herself; she is manipulating him and taking advantage of his kindness. He sees all of it and realizes what an idiot he is, but he is so worried she will actually do it. Some of the things he told me are so off the wall that there is no way it could be true. I told him she is probably some bored married house wife....He told me he knows he is falling for me and could spend his life with me, and he is sorry he is such an f up!!! I told him to figure out what he was doing and to let me know. He sounded genuinely embarassed telling me all of this, and said his family and friends think he is an idiot for beleiving all of her crap. It's been almost a week since I've talked to him. I am not going to contact him as my last words to him were to figure out what he was doing and to let me know. So far he hasn't. How long am I supposed to wait? Do I just cut my losses? I don't think he would tell me all of this if he didn't care, or even bother making up such an elaborate story... I think I would have cut my losses already if I didn't have such huge feelings for the guy. What would you do?
Mascara Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 …I told him I didn’t have time for this BS, and that I just spent 3 years with a guy who always had a woman in the background and that I wasn’t going to do it. Good for you. Keep doing this. If he doesn't come back, it wasn't meant to be. As a side note, I'm always a bit wary of anyone who talks about how crazy and messed up their ex is. Very often, the cause of the craziness is them. 2
Delilah1623 Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 As a side note, I'm always a bit wary of anyone who talks about how crazy and messed up their ex is. Very often, the cause of the craziness is them. Agreed. Take this advice and remember it. 1
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 Good for you. Keep doing this. If he doesn't come back, it wasn't meant to be. As a side note, I'm always a bit wary of anyone who talks about how crazy and messed up their ex is. Very often, the cause of the craziness is them. Agreed. Take this advice and remember it. Well, from what I know, which I guess isn't much, he seems normal. We also have a few mutual friends who all told me he's a really decent guy. Would this person even be considered his ex? They never met.
mammasita Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Is this the same guy that smoked weed and hit a herd of cows?
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 Is this the same guy that smoked weed and hit a herd of cows? LOL yes!!! I told him "first it was the cows now this???" The worst part is the whole cow story is true. I am going to say this is probably true too. Maybe he's not as together as I thought
StanMusial Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I met this guy online and we really hit it off, we spent 2 weeks talking every night on the phone and texting throughout the day. I developed really strong feelings for him and he for me. I was so happy I had finally found someone normal and together... He basically told me that he is experiencing a “catfish” thing with a woman from another town (its about 6 hr drive from here) and that he has been talking with her for 6 months and never met her, that he had feelings for her in the beginning but now thinks she’s crazy and got rid of her just before meeting me… So he met me, and has these hardcore feelings for me, and I guess now she’s going insane calling and emailing and texting him off the hook since saying she’s going to kill herself if she loses him. He said he thought he was out of the situation and it was done but apparently not…I told him I didn’t have time for this BS, and that I just spent 3 years with a guy who always had a woman in the background and that I wasn’t going to do it. He said he doesn’t want to pass up his chance with me and to give him a few days to figure out how to get rid of her the proper way. He said he doesn't want to start anything with me until she is completely gone out of his life. Is this the same guy that smoked weed and hit a herd of cows? Hmmm. Am I missing something here? Dating in the 2010's.
MidwestUSA Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 He has never met her, she lives 6 hours away - shouldn't be hard to be rid of her. If he really thinks he owes her anything, he's got more than one screw loose. You did the right thing by nexting him. I wouldn't reply even if he did eventually make contact, but that's me.
Treasa Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Ok, I remember this story now that someone mentioned the cow thing. So this is the guy who was smoking pot, hit a herd of cows, got ordered to get drug tested, got fired because it came back positive, broke up with you, and now it turns out Either you're trying to troll us, or he's seriously trolling you.
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 5, 2013 Author Posted November 5, 2013 He has never met her, she lives 6 hours away - shouldn't be hard to be rid of her. If he really thinks he owes her anything, he's got more than one screw loose. You did the right thing by nexting him. I wouldn't reply even if he did eventually make contact, but that's me. Thanks for the advice. I was thinking I was doing the right thing. Ok, I remember this story now that someone mentioned the cow thing. So this is the guy who was smoking pot, hit a herd of cows, got ordered to get drug tested, got fired because it came back positive, broke up with you, and now it turns out Either you're trying to troll us, or he's seriously trolling you. He called and aplogized to me after that, saying he had a big melt down. We spoke for another couple days and then he dropped this on me. NO, I am not trolling you.. I honestly wish I was lol. I know how bizzare it all sounds trust me, and if I didn't have real feelings I would have kicked him to the curb without a second thought. I was just looking for what anyone else in my postition would do. I think I am doing the right thing by not contacting him.
Zahara Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I don't know about the weed and the cows but just reading about it, sounds bad already. So, he was talking to this woman for 6 months and never met her. He's been talking to you as well and the moment it's time to meet, he springs this on you and has gone silent for a week because he's figuring out how to end a phone relationship with some woman. All sounds very fishy to me. And this woman must be really nuts to want to kill herself over someone she hasn't even met. And don't always believe what and everything he tells you. 1
Treasa Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Ok, so let's say everything he says is true. He's still trying to find ways to leave you, having done it already once, and now again with the story about this other woman. How many weeks have you known him again?? If you are for real, you need to run fast and not even think about this person again. 1
tinktronik Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Drop him. Seriously, he needs to figure out how to end this "relationship" with a woman he's never met? Duh, turn off the computer and screen her calls. There is NOTHING to figure out. He's playing you. 1
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 5, 2013 Author Posted November 5, 2013 You're all so right. I never thought of it like that. He was the one who suggested meeting to begin with, before this came out... could have been a front. He said he didn't want to meet me until she was gone for good because he knew he'd fall for me.... Ugh. I feel like one of *those* girls right now. Thanks for the advice. I definitely will not be contacting him again
flight E Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Thank God 4 u that you can still use your brain
StanMusial Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 You're all so right. I never thought of it like that. He was the one who suggested meeting to begin with, before this came out... could have been a front. He said he didn't want to meet me until she was gone for good because he knew he'd fall for me.... Ugh. I feel like one of *those* girls right now. Thanks for the advice. I definitely will not be contacting him again If you considered him "a normal guy", I would love to hear about some of the other guys you have dated. Go!
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted November 6, 2013 Author Posted November 6, 2013 (edited) Wait - you've never even MET this assclown in person? It's been how many excuses for why you can't meet face to face - two or three? You need to start watching these nutjobs on Doctor Phil that fall for these catfishes. One guy was so gullible that he 'fell in love' with a beautiful young woman over texting/phone calls/chatting but they'd never even met - and it was really this hideously overweight lonely married woman looking for attention. This beautiful young woman had more excuses for NOT being able to meet this guy until she met a tragic death, which he mourned (jesus, the guy had never even MET the girl). The housewife/catfish proceeded to fake yet ANOTHER profile and sucked the dumbass guy back in a SECOND time, with another beautiful young lady that kept making ridiculous excuses not to meet. And as predicted, this 2nd "woman" ALSO died (from cancer this time) but this time, the married catfish woman sent him the supposed ashes of his dead love! Neither of these two women were real - they were the 100% creation of some lonely housewife who was 'bored!!!' Your 'cow crasher' guy sounds like a catfish, if you want the truth. Not the supposed woman he claims is catfishing HIM. He's telling you ALL the crap these catfishes tell others - he's afraid he'll 'fall' for you when he meets you and he's got 'feelings' for you and all this happy horsesh*t, yet he's got an excuse EVERY single time it comes time to put his money where his mouth is. Dump his worthless ass. . He never gave me an excuse not to meet, except for this whole thing. So I guess that would count as one, and I haven't spoken to him since. He's not a catfish, we have mutual friends and I know he is who he says he is. Also my company works with his company and a couple of our field guys have worked with him. Regardless, I won't be speaking to him again. His lack of communication at this point is enough for me. If you considered him "a normal guy", I would love to hear about some of the other guys you have dated. Go! LOL. Okay maybe I should rephrase that... He seemed normal up until this... Our mutual friends all vouched for him and said what a decent guy he was. He obviously has issues though. I used to think I attracted jerks and weirdos... So I went for someone I would normally never go with. He was more screwed up than anyone I'd been with. Stalked me for 2 years, still occasionally get messages from him on Facebook (Dumped him in 2009). I think I'm just going to give up at this point lol Edited November 6, 2013 by LivingDeadGrl
Author LivingDeadGrl Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Sooo an update: I finally heard from him last week. It took me almost 6 days to respond but he texted me saying he dealt with this woman and she's out of his life. He said he'd understand if I red flagged him or don't trust him anymore but that he's been 100 % honest with me about everything... I finally responded and I think he has been truthful I mean who can make this stuff up? I spent 3 hours on the phone talking with him last night, but to be honest my feelings have sort of dwindled for the guy now. I think he is a perfect match for me and he is everything I am looking for but I'm not as excited as I was when I first started talking to him. It almost feels dull now. He's everything I want in a mate but the whole not hearing from him for a whole month thing? I realize he had stuff to deal with, and I should be happy that he didn't want to start anything with me until he had that weirdo woman out of his life - that's great but what do I do? Do I keep talking to him? I made him wait almost a week before I decided to respond, it seems things are going back to what they were before this whole thing happened except that my feelings aren't the same...I haven't told him this. His feelings for me seem to not have changed. What now? Do I just give up? Do I pursue it?
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