Timz12 Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Hello all, I have a situation in which I'm unsure how to feel about it. I started dating a girl about a month ago. In the meantime I've discovered she has somewhat of a troubled past, as a result; shes bulimic, cuts herself, and feels insecure about herself. Shes never really expressed her feelings to anyone other than me before. I've been helping her with her issues and things are making a huge turn around in that aspect, we both love each other and things are great between us, to the best of my knowledge. Heres where I run into issues. She does a have a lot of guy friends, and in her opinion they are just friends and she thinks they want nothing more. However, I have different beliefs. They dont hangout anymore since we've started dating however they still text. Some of them I know I really dont have much to worry about, but there is one who I feel I do. I noticed him liking/commenting on a bunch of her stuff on facebook, and noticed his name pop up on her phone before, so I asked her one day about it. She said their friends/classmates and that's it. I told her I was uncomfortable with it and nothing more, she said yeah I'll stop talking to him, your probably right he wants something more. Which later she was able to admit as she opened up some of the snapchats he sent her when we were together, and we laughed it off. After drinking one night (she was drunk) we got into an argument about something. She said I dont talk to them people anymore, go ahead open my phone and look at messages. In there I had found that she hadn't stopped talking to the guys that she said she did. Ive never told her to stop talking to these people, it was her idea. It was pretty professional/school related, except for that one guy who I have a problem with. Looking back at old, old messages, between her and this guy. It is very apparent he wants to be with her and is trying to run me down. She had stated to him that I dont like him and that I was afraid he was going to steal her away from me. Also, she had sent one saying that I was being a dickhead one night. These all kinda made me feel disrespected as I have NEVER been mad/rude to her. More recent messages were flirty back and forth with emoticons and so forth. One of the messages that really bothers me was where he said asking: why do you always send me winky smiley faces and so forth? And she just sent a emoticon back with a straight face, similar to his . I have no real proof or evidence of anything extreme, however it left me with my eyebrows raised. I know they have never hung out together since we've started dating. Nor do I believe she has ever cheated on me, and she has told him multiple times that she is happy with me and doesn't want to leave me. After I seen this, I was pretty upset and told her Hey, this is pretty disrespectful and if he is what you want go ahead, have him, do what you wish. I'm not playing games here, or tolerating this. It is your choice. She refused to let me go, and insisted that nothing is going on and she wants nothing from this guy. She then deleted his phone number/snapchat account and deleted him off facebook (her choice). "I only want you". Her excuse was that shes very insecure and has zero self confidence. Knowing what I know, I dont know how to feel or think about this situation. They still have class together and this guy is like a leech and will be trying to sit by her and interrogate her about everything. Is she being genuine? Do I trust her? I did before, now its kinda questionable. Am I being paranoid/in the wrong? or as painful as it is to say because I've really grown to love her, do I launch her? Any Input would be appreciated. Thanks
CptSaveAho Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Hello all, I have a situation in which I'm unsure how to feel about it. I started dating a girl about a month ago. In the meantime I've discovered she has somewhat of a troubled past, as a result; shes bulimic, cuts herself, and feels insecure about herself. I stopped after reading this... this is game over for anyone with common sense You will get get SCREWED over hard if you continue to date her
clia Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 It already sounds like way too much drama for a girl you've been dating for one month. It will only get worse if you continue to see her.
Author Timz12 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 Explain your theory? As I stated, she went through some serious things and had no one to rely on and it was her way of coping and it has stopped since we've been dating and I guess is kinda irrelevant to my post.
CptSaveAho Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 theory? no self love, no self respect... shes a cutter (typically turn into or are BPDers) how do you trust someone that doesnt have any respect for themselves not to hurt themselves. would you trust her not to cut you if she has or had the ability to cut herself. there are people that have / had no one else to rely on that didnt get involved with self mutilation/ drug abuse / people abuse/ alcohol abuse / sex abuse / etc there is nothing healthy with this woman... i dont know about you but i retired my captain save a hoe uniform a few years ago after learning the lesson the hard way hopefully you dont have to go through the same lesson i did
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