how can i get through this break up and depression

[jessiej]

i cant get through this break up and depression..

 

i cant get over my ex boyfriend who i dated for 3 years

 

 

i was with my ex for 3 years, im 18 and hes 20. Things were usually great between us, we went through our ups and downs but always came back stronger.

 

We spent all of our time together, he has his own apartment and I would sleep there every night and we were together constantly. I put all of my energy and everything into the relationship and ended up losing most of my friends because of this, but i didn't care because i loved him so much and thought he was the one.

 

Things were great until he started college. He became really distant and when I confronted him, he told me he was still so in love with me and wanted to marry me one day.

 

A few weeks later, he called me and dumped me on the phone. He told me he didnt love me anymore, he wanted to sleep with other girls, and being in a relationship for so long with me was just stupid.. When I tried to talk to him he would tell me to shut up and say there was no chance of us getting back together because he liked other girls and didn't like me anymore and didn't see himself marrying me.

 

I was stunned. This guy use to be so sweet and caring to me and once he started college he now wants to sleep with other girls and doesn't even care about me anymore. He told me I care too much and he doesn't care about me at all. I don't understand how someone can change so quickly and act so rude to me when I did nothing to him. I was battling depression for a while now, and him ending things has just left me so alone and hopeless.

 

I feel like maybe he just thinks hes missing out? or Grass is greener syndrome? I also feel like he cheated on me. I just don't know what to do anymore. We broke up a month ago and im doing NC and he hasn't even tried to contact me at all. I heard that he took a girl on a date the day after he dumped me and he's now with her...

 

How do i move on from this?! He was my best friend and boyfriend and I miss him so much. I have no friends to go out with to take my mind off of things, or even just to talk to, and im becoming really depressed

[xUnknown]

i cant get through this break up and depression..

 

i cant get over my ex boyfriend who i dated for 3 years

 

 

i was with my ex for 3 years, im 18 and hes 20. Things were usually great between us, we went through our ups and downs but always came back stronger.

 

We spent all of our time together, he has his own apartment and I would sleep there every night and we were together constantly. I put all of my energy and everything into the relationship and ended up losing most of my friends because of this, but i didn't care because i loved him so much and thought he was the one.

 

Things were great until he started college. He became really distant and when I confronted him, he told me he was still so in love with me and wanted to marry me one day.

 

A few weeks later, he called me and dumped me on the phone. He told me he didnt love me anymore, he wanted to sleep with other girls, and being in a relationship for so long with me was just stupid.. When I tried to talk to him he would tell me to shut up and say there was no chance of us getting back together because he liked other girls and didn't like me anymore and didn't see himself marrying me.

 

I was stunned. This guy use to be so sweet and caring to me and once he started college he now wants to sleep with other girls and doesn't even care about me anymore. He told me I care too much and he doesn't care about me at all. I don't understand how someone can change so quickly and act so rude to me when I did nothing to him. I was battling depression for a while now, and him ending things has just left me so alone and hopeless.

 

I feel like maybe he just thinks hes missing out? or Grass is greener syndrome? I also feel like he cheated on me. I just don't know what to do anymore. We broke up a month ago and im doing NC and he hasn't even tried to contact me at all. I heard that he took a girl on a date the day after he dumped me and he's now with her...

 

How do i move on from this?! He was my best friend and boyfriend and I miss him so much. I have no friends to go out with to take my mind off of things, or even just to talk to, and im becoming really depressed

 

Definitely GIGS. Keep No contact, you're still young, you'll get through it. It will take time and it will be touch (1 month post BU myself of 2 yrs - so I'm right there with ya.) Keep your chin up.

[headinthecloud]

i cant get through this break up and depression..

 

i cant get over my ex boyfriend who i dated for 3 years

 

 

i was with my ex for 3 years, im 18 and hes 20. Things were usually great between us, we went through our ups and downs but always came back stronger.

 

We spent all of our time together, he has his own apartment and I would sleep there every night and we were together constantly. I put all of my energy and everything into the relationship and ended up losing most of my friends because of this, but i didn't care because i loved him so much and thought he was the one.

 

Things were great until he started college. He became really distant and when I confronted him, he told me he was still so in love with me and wanted to marry me one day.

 

A few weeks later, he called me and dumped me on the phone. He told me he didnt love me anymore, he wanted to sleep with other girls, and being in a relationship for so long with me was just stupid.. When I tried to talk to him he would tell me to shut up and say there was no chance of us getting back together because he liked other girls and didn't like me anymore and didn't see himself marrying me.

 

I was stunned. This guy use to be so sweet and caring to me and once he started college he now wants to sleep with other girls and doesn't even care about me anymore. He told me I care too much and he doesn't care about me at all. I don't understand how someone can change so quickly and act so rude to me when I did nothing to him. I was battling depression for a while now, and him ending things has just left me so alone and hopeless.

 

I feel like maybe he just thinks hes missing out? or Grass is greener syndrome? I also feel like he cheated on me. I just don't know what to do anymore. We broke up a month ago and im doing NC and he hasn't even tried to contact me at all. I heard that he took a girl on a date the day after he dumped me and he's now with her...

 

How do i move on from this?! He was my best friend and boyfriend and I miss him so much. I have no friends to go out with to take my mind off of things, or even just to talk to, and im becoming really depressed

 

I know how you're feeling, alone and in pain; everything reminds you of your ex. This is normal after a BU. It will pass, I promise.

 

There are good days and bad days, but the roller coaster does ease up a bit after a few months. When the bad days happen, have a plan - call a friend, go to the gym, get out of the house, whatever it is just stay busy. I also read this breakuprecoveryguide and it helped (Breakup Recovery Guide).

 

In the meantime stay in NC, that includes no looking up facebook statuses or anything. Just focus on you and heal. Get healthy both physically and emotionally. It takes work but you can do it.

[Coping Vortex]

i cant get through this break up and depression..

 

i cant get over my ex boyfriend who i dated for 3 years

 

 

i was with my ex for 3 years, im 18 and hes 20. Things were usually great between us, we went through our ups and downs but always came back stronger.

 

We spent all of our time together, he has his own apartment and I would sleep there every night and we were together constantly. I put all of my energy and everything into the relationship and ended up losing most of my friends because of this, but i didn't care because i loved him so much and thought he was the one.

 

Things were great until he started college. He became really distant and when I confronted him, he told me he was still so in love with me and wanted to marry me one day.

 

A few weeks later, he called me and dumped me on the phone. He told me he didnt love me anymore, he wanted to sleep with other girls, and being in a relationship for so long with me was just stupid.. When I tried to talk to him he would tell me to shut up and say there was no chance of us getting back together because he liked other girls and didn't like me anymore and didn't see himself marrying me.

 

I was stunned. This guy use to be so sweet and caring to me and once he started college he now wants to sleep with other girls and doesn't even care about me anymore. He told me I care too much and he doesn't care about me at all. I don't understand how someone can change so quickly and act so rude to me when I did nothing to him. I was battling depression for a while now, and him ending things has just left me so alone and hopeless.

 

I feel like maybe he just thinks hes missing out? or Grass is greener syndrome? I also feel like he cheated on me. I just don't know what to do anymore. We broke up a month ago and im doing NC and he hasn't even tried to contact me at all. I heard that he took a girl on a date the day after he dumped me and he's now with her...

 

How do i move on from this?! He was my best friend and boyfriend and I miss him so much. I have no friends to go out with to take my mind off of things, or even just to talk to, and im becoming really depressed

 

I wish I could take your pain away, but unfortunately heartache can't be magically fixed. Its been a year for me and I am still totally heartbroken. BTW you are still young I hate to tell you but heartbreak never gets any better when you get older. The only thing i can say that you are still young and you will have many opportunities to meet others. I know its no consolation now but at least you will experience love again. When you get older and kids marriages etc. can make life a lot more messy.

 

You will have many more relationships in your life. Take what you learn and look on it as a growing opportunity. Also know you will grow as a person and in time you may find what you miss about him now you might not miss in the future.

 

Hang in there.

[ponchsox]

NC is the only way your going to allow yourself the space and time to get over it. Resisting the urge to break NC is very difficult and you have to find that reason that you never want to hear from them again, like forever.

[xUnknown]

NC is the only way your going to allow yourself the space and time to get over it. Resisting the urge to break NC is very difficult and you have to find that reason that you never want to hear from them again, like forever.

 

I'm struggling to find that reason too. Im still FB friends with her (my ex), but havn't checked her page in close to 6 weeks. The willpower to NOT check it is there...however, not sure if I should take the extra step and unfriend her. I guess I keep hoping she still checks my page to see how I'm doing =?

[jessiej]

thanks so much everyone.

i currently am doing no contact and i really have no desire to contact him after how he treated me.

 

i just don't understand how you can do everything for a person, and be there with them through everything for 3 years and then they just cut you off and tell you they don't care about you anymore?

 

even after all he has done to me, i still love him and care for him and I think I always will, so it hurts that he doesn't feel tthe same way and has already moved on

[moki]

Omg your story is veeeeeeery similar to mine. I'm 18 and he's 20 (coincidence haha) and we were together for 2 years. He went to college this year and met new people and started to drift away. . . He broke up with me a 6 weeks ago because he wanted "something new". I've been NC since the day of the break up.

 

I don't know if he got a new girl but I heard from a friend that she saw him with another girl one day. Anyways.

 

I still love him too but I doubt we'll ever talk again.

[ponchsox]

Omg your story is veeeeeeery similar to mine. I'm 18 and he's 20 (coincidence haha) and we were together for 2 years. He went to college this year and met new people and started to drift away. . . He broke up with me a 6 weeks ago because he wanted "something new". I've been NC since the day of the break up.

 

I don't know if he got a new girl but I heard from a friend that she saw him with another girl one day. Anyways.

 

I still love him too but I doubt we'll ever talk again.

 

Wow, congrats on NC since breakup. You are very strong.

[ponchsox]

Because you really shouldn't sacrifice your life for someone else. You said it yourself, you ditched your friends and your life and made him the centre of your universe. I wouldn't date someone like that, I couldn't respect them.

 

Be supportive and look after someone, but never at the expense of your own happiness. I'd say you giving up everything about yourself for him, goes a long way to explaining why he broke up with you.

 

Exactly. You have to have boundaries in any relationship. They should complement your life, not control it. I would not be attracted to anyone who did this under any circumstance.

[moki]

Wow, congrats on NC since breakup. You are very strong.

 

Thank you.

I actually begged and cry for an hour on the phone but as soon I realized he won't change his mind I stopped. I was able to maintain NC because I properly told him goodbye--this was the last word I told him. No turning back.

 

OP, stay strong. Stick with the NC, time will heal your wounds.

[mtnbiker3000]

I guess I keep hoping she still checks my page to see how I'm doing =?

 

Hope = staying in the same spot without healing or recovering. Please stop doing this.

 

Kill all hope.

[Fufu]

i cant get through this break up and depression..

 

i cant get over my ex boyfriend who i dated for 3 years

 

 

i was with my ex for 3 years, im 18 and hes 20. Things were usually great between us, we went through our ups and downs but always came back stronger.

 

We spent all of our time together, he has his own apartment and I would sleep there every night and we were together constantly. I put all of my energy and everything into the relationship and ended up losing most of my friends because of this, but i didn't care because i loved him so much and thought he was the one.

 

Things were great until he started college. He became really distant and when I confronted him, he told me he was still so in love with me and wanted to marry me one day.

 

A few weeks later, he called me and dumped me on the phone. He told me he didnt love me anymore, he wanted to sleep with other girls, and being in a relationship for so long with me was just stupid.. When I tried to talk to him he would tell me to shut up and say there was no chance of us getting back together because he liked other girls and didn't like me anymore and didn't see himself marrying me.

 

I was stunned. This guy use to be so sweet and caring to me and once he started college he now wants to sleep with other girls and doesn't even care about me anymore. He told me I care too much and he doesn't care about me at all. I don't understand how someone can change so quickly and act so rude to me when I did nothing to him. I was battling depression for a while now, and him ending things has just left me so alone and hopeless.

 

I feel like maybe he just thinks hes missing out? or Grass is greener syndrome? I also feel like he cheated on me. I just don't know what to do anymore. We broke up a month ago and im doing NC and he hasn't even tried to contact me at all. I heard that he took a girl on a date the day after he dumped me and he's now with her...

 

How do i move on from this?! He was my best friend and boyfriend and I miss him so much. I have no friends to go out with to take my mind off of things, or even just to talk to, and im becoming really depressed

 

 

I do feel for you as it is a 3 years relationship. All I can say is you are still young and you have lots of time to find another person who shares the same feelings with you. Sad to say, people change and feelings do change. Don't date anyone who make it very clear he doesn't want you anymore (this is harsh reality)

 

You can move on and you have to start believing this. He "was" your best friend and boyfriend but he is not not anymore now.

 

I believe you have friends with you? I suggest you to go out with your friends and do something fun and relaxing like shopping or catching a comedy movie. Keep your mind out of HIM and start focusing on Yourself. You can do it!

[killershaft]

hey there...Went thru your whole thread.... First up just take a deep breath and calm yourself when u feel your losing control... its quite natural to feel the way your doing... It might sound funny but talk to yourself if that helps you to de-stress yourself... Coming to your story... i feel your bf has lost feelings for you currently because hes getting to meet new ppl in his life.. one sinciere advice from my end is to stop contacting him.... it only makes you feel worse if u know hes seeing someone else... your self respect and confidence takes a big jolt... look for ways to do new things that makes you forget old memories. Also, just refrain from thinking what your ex is doing and who hes going to be with... it wont matter to you couple of months down the line... just keep some patience and hang in there... the future is much better and brighter... And just to mention your ex will only think about returning if you completely forget about him and live your life happily. Think about how you can achieve that... build your character from this incident thats happened... make yourself better... pls dont waste your time thinking about someone who doesnt want you.... its a complete waste... Go out.. talk to people... don get into any new relationships just to feel better and get over the loneliness... it only makes things worse... keep the faith....you will forget about that selfish guy very soon... and for heavens sake don accept him back when he returns.. and i assure you he will return when his new found relationships starts rotting and once u stop contact with him... Its a part of your life thats over just accept it... its a hard pill to swallow.. but just do it... you will come out as a superwoman at the end of it....

[xUnknown]

Hope = staying in the same spot without healing or recovering. Please stop doing this.

 

Kill all hope.

 

I hear ya on this. I just made this thread. I'd appreciate any input.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/437622-6-week-mark-progress-slowed-leave-forums-what-your-thoughts#post5318768

[jessiej]

thanks so much everyone, and i do agree with not making someone the centre of your universe and devoting all of your time to them. I feel like maybe I was a bit too clingy?

 

But I was only that way because he did the same thing to me, he told me he didn't want to go to the bars with his friends and do stuff like that because he would rather spend time with me. I didn't try to force him away from his friends or anything, i would actually tell him to go out with them but he wanted to spend time with me, and he was the one who would ask me to sleep over everynight and spend his days with him.

 

thanks for all of your advice and support everyone