I'm getting nervous for my 'date' tomorrow, I'm not sure about this

[ellisjp]

Ok so I like this girl in one of my college classes. I started talking to her and asked her out. We went to a cool downtown restaurant. We had a really good time and she even said she did. We went on september 25th, over a month ago. Well for various reasons, progress never really got made.

 

but we kept talking to each other and she seemed interested in talking to me. We ate lunch together last Friday. At the end of our lunch I told her I got tickets to a Washington Capitals game (she likes hockey and has never been to a game). Well she said yes and now the game is on tomorrow!

 

She seems excited but, I still don't know if its a 'date'. Is it? Do you guys think she likes me? Maybe just going for tickets? How should I act on the date (like physical/not physical)?

 

Also, we had planned to meet up and grab a bite together sometime today so we can talk about details for the game tomorrow, not sure if I still should, could that derail anything for tomorrow?

 

Suggestions? I'm running out of time to think about this

[Philosoraptor]

Way overthinking this. When they score give her a kiss, bam!

 

Keep on schedule and enjoy your time with her.

[greenfairie]

I can't tell you if she likes you just as friends or is she seeing some potential in a relationship with you as well and is seeing how it goes? Does she have a boyfriend or is she single? You wouldn't want to disrespect her and her boyfriend, the relationship so make sure you find out she's available. It's just awkward then if you try to make a move on her and then she's not available. If she's single, try and make a move like give her a kiss on the cheek first and see how she reacts and find the right time to get close to her and see if she's okay with it, then do more..hopefully she wouldn't stop you or just tell her you like her and see what she says instead of trying to kiss her and she'd probably try to avoid the kiss if she doesn't want it which is a little more embarrassing, in my opinion though! hopefully the feelings you have are mutual with her and that things work out. Good luck!

[ellisjp]

Does she have a boyfriend or is she single? You wouldn't want to disrespect her and her boyfriend, the relationship so make sure you find out she's available.

 

Unless she is lying to me she is single. I don't think any girl in a functioning relationship would go to a hockey game alone with a single guy one on one.

[jba10582]

I hope it works out for you bud. Let us know how it turns out. Sometimes it helps to stay out of your own head and just live in the present.

[ellisjp]

Well I called her this afternoon to see if we were still eating dinner today and we were. Just casual meeting at the campus dining hall. Talk was good as always, kept it fun, made more specific plans about the game, and we didn't stay super long.

 

She seems REALLY excited about this game. She even mentioned it a few times without me asking about it. But she seems to want to go because she says she has been wanting to forever, not necessarily to spend time with me. I just don't know if attraction is there on her part. She hangs out with a lot of guys, but no clue about how she interacts with them, so I just leave it alone.

 

I gave her a ride home after dinner. She had taken the bus and it was freezing outside, she was very thankful but I hope it didn't make me look like I was offering too much to her.

 

So I'm going to the game with her to have fun and not expecting anything else in the least, but I like this girl and think she's really pretty.

 

Any thoughts on what I should do tomorrow? I don't know where I stand with this girl, and have never taken a girl to a pro sports game lol

[40 Fonzarelli]

Assume she is interested. Be physical from the beginning but be subtle. Tease and be playful. Lead the date. Drink alcohol. Try not to wait until the end of the date for a kiss. Good luck.

[Uwaae]

This might seem weird, but I think it will work:

 

Assume she is uninterested in you and just enjoy the game like she's your buddy. Good point about the guy that said to kiss when they score, hahaha

 

Maybe not kiss, but get in something physical

[Philosoraptor]

Well I called her this afternoon to see if we were still eating dinner today and we were. Just casual meeting at the campus dining hall. Talk was good as always, kept it fun, made more specific plans about the game, and we didn't stay super long.

 

She seems REALLY excited about this game. She even mentioned it a few times without me asking about it. But she seems to want to go because she says she has been wanting to forever, not necessarily to spend time with me. I just don't know if attraction is there on her part. She hangs out with a lot of guys, but no clue about how she interacts with them, so I just leave it alone.

 

I gave her a ride home after dinner. She had taken the bus and it was freezing outside, she was very thankful but I hope it didn't make me look like I was offering too much to her.

 

So I'm going to the game with her to have fun and not expecting anything else in the least, but I like this girl and think she's really pretty.

 

Any thoughts on what I should do tomorrow? I don't know where I stand with this girl, and have never taken a girl to a pro sports game lol

I still second my suggestion above. When your team scores, give her a kiss. The exitement is already there in the moment as everyone is cheering and you just top that off with a nice smooch. Don't overthink it, just do it.

[Lansing]

How did the game to?

[fujidabruin]

Hey ellisjp,

 

Hope the hockey game date was a good one.

If things went well there then I think you should ask her out for this weekend ASAP.

 

Just remember that things sound pretty casual so far and you are still getting to know each other so be cool and have fun without a lot of expectations. If you are feeling something between you, then make an effort to show you are attracted to her and look for her response and body language.

 

Good Luck dude

[ellisjp]

How did the game to?

 

Hey guys, per usual, I have no clue what's really going on, it went well, but I'm even more confused. I really need some help with this. Here's how it went.

 

Pick her up on campus from her last class on time and well and we begin the 2.5 trek to DC. Things start perfectly fine. Having good, real conversation and time is flying by in the car. We hit traffic as expected, see a metro train, I make a joke about going on the train instead of parking at the arena.

 

She says 'hey that reminds me I need to put money on my metro pass'.

I say: 'Why?, we aren't going on the metro...

Her: Well I was going to go home after the game (This was complete news to me but more on that in a sec)

I say: Home? Why?

Her: I live right by a metro stop (Its actually a mile)

Me: How are you getting back to campus then?

Her: *uneasy laugh* I was hoping you would take me?

Me: I definitely was, but I was planning on going back after the game, what's up?

Her: Oh, I told my parents I would come home from the game in case we drank too much or whatever, I was just going to leave from the stadium and you could go home and pick me up in the morning whenever you need to. (She forgot I lived an hour away from her) I feel bad now, you wanted to go back to campus right away?

Me: Don't worry about it its not a big deal, you know you really shouldn't ride the metro by yourself at night after a game.

Her: I don't want you to have to drive me home now AND pick me up in the morning. I've been on it plenty of times (never after a game though)

Me: Ok well let's just figure it out after the game, who knows it might get out early/late/etc

 

In my mind I'm like WTF. WTF kind of brilliant idea is this? Riding home by yourself from the heart of a huge city on a cold night (as to not inconvenience me twice, but definitely once). But I didn't make anything of it. We really didn't talk getting back too much so I was just as much at fault as her for this mis-communication, so I didn't get mad and just let it go for the time being.

 

But it totally put me in left field. That's a pretty uneventful way to end a night, EVEN MORE to end a DATE like that - but fully expecting to see me in the morning. What's going on here? I lost all my reads on her for the night, but I think I recovered.

 

The hockey game went well. The gods blessed us with the Caps scoring 5 goals in 12 minutes right in front of where we were sitting. We were having a good time, high fived after goals, cheering, clapping, laughing at the intermission stuff. I was getting mixed body language though, sometimes she would sit real close, sometimes not, and the above exchange made me more unsure. But she was SUPER into the game, so that was good.

 

During the game at a time she was sitting really close I saw her look up a metro train schedule and remembered the talk from before. I put my foot down and said hey, if you want to go home, I'm going to take you, I'm not letting you do that by yourself, its not safe. Her immediate response: "Omg really? thank you, yeah I saw that some of the trains stopped" I just said no problem suggested we do something for a bit after the game to let the crowds clear so I can get my car.

 

We ate a few snacks at this one little joint a few blocks away. Sat in the window and people watched, still having fun. After we left we went to my car. It was just past 1030, the game was quick. I said since there won't be traffic back we can get back by 1230 easily. She said 'no, I just texted my dad, please take me home, I'm kinda drunk and tired haha'

 

The ride back was fine, laughed about the game, the fights, etc. When we got to her house she said 'you really didn't have to take me home, that was nice of you', and I said I would never of let you take the train this late by yourself after a game, there's alot of crazy drunks on the train too' She blushed and said thanks, but just got out of the car.

 

This morning I picked her up. We, especially me from like 6hrs of total driving, were completely exhausted. So our conversation on 1.5 hr ride back was kinda just alright. There were a few lulls, but generally still keeping things fun. I dropped her off at her apartment, and she said I'm giving you money for gas. I told her you really don't have to, but she said no, no way, you drove way too much. She put it in my cup holder and said good bye, see ya tomorrow (in class)

 

Well I'll see her tomorrow, and have no idea what's good. What I just typed was long, but as you can see, I have no clue

Edited November 6, 2013 by ellisjp

[ellisjp]

Cliffs for those who didn't read or want to read the full story:

 

-Started off on time and great

-Learn about her 'plan' after game

-Said plan is blatantly unsafe and not date-like at all

-Don't make a big deal about it

-Start having a good time at the game

-Tell her that if she goes home, I'm driving her, immediately accepts and thanks

-Still have a real good time at game, a little bit of physical contact not much, body language was mixed, but she was SUPER into the game.

-Grabbed a quick bite afterwards

-Take her home, says thanks a million times, had so much fun, see you in the morning

-Pick her up this morning, conversation stalls at times due to fatigue and being with each other so long in a short timeframe, but generally good.

-Drop her off, still very thankful and upbeat, and we part ways

[todreaminblue]

Ok so I like this girl in one of my college classes. I started talking to her and asked her out. We went to a cool downtown restaurant. We had a really good time and she even said she did. We went on september 25th, over a month ago. Well for various reasons, progress never really got made.

 

but we kept talking to each other and she seemed interested in talking to me. We ate lunch together last Friday. At the end of our lunch I told her I got tickets to a Washington Capitals game (she likes hockey and has never been to a game). Well she said yes and now the game is on tomorrow!

 

She seems excited but, I still don't know if its a 'date'. Is it? Do you guys think she likes me? Maybe just going for tickets? How should I act on the date (like physical/not physical)?

 

Also, we had planned to meet up and grab a bite together sometime today so we can talk about details for the game tomorrow, not sure if I still should, could that derail anything for tomorrow?

 

Suggestions? I'm running out of time to think about this

 

 

 

what distinguishes a date for me is when a guy holds my hand ....simple...because i dont hold hands with friends so the first date can be g rated but distinguishable from other friendship type outings......a kiss on the cheek when its time to say goodbye or a quick peck if they are game.When guys take the initative and kiss thy should make sure their tongue is on a leash next time i swear i bite it off......just a hint...tongue in your own mouth leave it there it isnt kosher to shove it down a girls throat on a first date...... hold hands quick kiss cheek or lips...first dates need to show physical contact if you want to avoid the friendship outing........

 

 

there is no friend zone..just friendship outings or dates..just distinguish what you want from the woman who sits next to you...cuddles are nice....dont put your head on her shoulder she is not your mum, do not walk in front of her walk beside her definitely dont let her walk in front that's wimpy seh is nto scouting to protect you and if she is otu there on point in front of you...you dont deserve her........ her walking behind...careless on your behalf.....almost got hit by a bread truck once on a first date in this scenario...yeah i know ...i vague out.............first date failure tips........from the isle of debbie.....battle on soldier get that girl....)

[d0nnivain]

I'm glad you came back & told us what happened. that is some story.

 

 

Since she was so close to home I can understand why she's want to go home. I don't understand why she thought you would drive her back to school & I can't believe you did. Talk about a nice guy . . . wow. That's above & beyond (but bordering on doormat). I hope she appreciates what you did. I bet she didn't even chip in for gas.

[todreaminblue]

Cliffs for those who didn't read or want to read the full story:

 

-Started off on time and great

-Learn about her 'plan' after game

-Said plan is blatantly unsafe and not date-like at all

-Don't make a big deal about it

-Start having a good time at the game

-Tell her that if she goes home, I'm driving her, immediately accepts and thanks

-Still have a real good time at game, a little bit of physical contact not much, body language was mixed, but she was SUPER into the game.

-Grabbed a quick bite afterwards

-Take her home, says thanks a million times, had so much fun, see you in the morning

-Pick her up this morning, conversation stalls at times due to fatigue and being with each other so long in a short timeframe, but generally good.

-Drop her off, still very thankful and upbeat, and we part ways

 

I find it curious that someone another poster said wow nice guy for driving her homeyou did th eright thing doing the right thing doesnt mean being a door mat ...i test guys on this ...ill say ill find my own way home.....if you want to go straight home.......i dotn let them know i dont carry cash(unsafe) and i dont let them know my way of getting home is normally to walk ...i dont like public transport......if they dont offer or question how i will .....i see the pattern of disinterest occurring........and yes .....i have walked home by myself at night.........quite a few times, i am not scared..... i can protect myself...and i know if i were to continue with seeing the guy who let me walk home without caring to ask......i am not safe with him, safer by myself......you did everything right and i hope she sees that you are not a doormat for offering to drive her home its called being a gentleman with a good set of values....kudos.....debbie

[ellisjp]

I'm glad you came back & told us what happened. that is some story.

 

 

Since she was so close to home I can understand why she's want to go home. I don't understand why she thought you would drive her back to school & I can't believe you did. Talk about a nice guy . . . wow. That's above & beyond (but bordering on doormat). I hope she appreciates what you did. I bet she didn't even chip in for gas.

 

Her idea totally threw me too. She went home, but still wanted me to pick her up in the morning? She didn't realize I lived as far as I did, so it wasn't necessarily 'evil', and she WAS HOSED if I decided not too. (would have missed work and a test today)

 

She chipped in $10 for gas at the end. Just to be polite I told her don't worry about it, but gladly took it

[todreaminblue]

Her idea totally through me too. She went home, but still wanted me to pick her up in the morning? She didn't realize I lived as far as I did, so it wasn't necessarily 'evil', and she WAS HOSED if I decided not too.

 

She chipped in $10 for gas at the end. Just to be polite I told her don't worry about it, but gladly took it

 

you did the right thing by taking the money ....and you did the right thing by going out of your way for her.......

[Lansing]

I am a bit confused...

 

You live an HOUR away from where she lives on campus?

 

You already drove an hour out of your way to pick her up to bring her to the game?

 

And then, you drove her to her parent's house, dropped her off at her parent's house. Then, you drove to pick her up closer to campus the next morning and dropped her off at the campus?

 

Are you her chauffeur?

[d0nnivain]

I find it curious that someone another poster said wow nice guy for driving her homeyou did th eright thing doing the right thing doesnt mean being a door mat ...

 

 

You misunderstood or I phrased it wrong. Driving her home to her parents house was the absolute right thing to do & anything else would have been less than gentlemanly.

 

 

I suggested that the OP might be too nice (a/k/a bordering on a doormat) because as I understood his post, he picked this girl up at college & drive 2.5 hours to the game. Then he drover her a few miles to her parents house afterward before he drove 2.5 hours back to school where he turned around & did the whole thing again the next morning. Ten total hours of driving -- two rounds trips -- when he only signed up for one is waaaayyyyy above & beyond. It was mighty presumptuous of the girl to think it would even be OK to ask him to do this.

[ellisjp]

You misunderstood or I phrased it wrong. Driving her home to her parents house was the absolute right thing to do & anything else would have been less than gentlemanly.

 

 

I suggested that the OP might be too nice (a/k/a bordering on a doormat) because as I understood his post, he picked this girl up at college & drive 2.5 hours to the game. Then he drover her a few miles to her parents house afterward before he drove 2.5 hours back to school where he turned around & did the whole thing again the next morning. Ten total hours of driving -- two rounds trips -- when he only signed up for one is waaaayyyyy above & beyond. It was mighty presumptuous of the girl to think it would even be OK to ask him to do this.

 

Ok logistics of the night:

 

2.5 hours there,

30ish minutes back to her rents house

FROM THERE an hour back to mine

And hour to hers

And 1.5ish back to campus

[d0nnivain]

Still you are a prince.

 

 

I can't believe that she only gave you $10 for gas. What'd you spend. . . $50?

[Lansing]

Wow...

 

That is NUTS how much driving you did for her...

 

Sorry, but I think that is above and beyond a "gentleman"..

[ellisjp]

It put me in a tough spot for two reasons.

 

-The sheer shock of that being her idea of how to part ways. Clouded my judgement on why she was really with me that night, so I didn't 'make moves' on her all night. Logic was girl likes you, girl has a good time, girl SHOULDN'T suggest leaving by herself before things unfold. I just solely focused on a good time. Also the ride back in the morning, I was like uhh? Thanks for knowing this will be a fun time and you have nothing to worry about getting back to school, but what if I turned into a giant creep/arse/jerk? What then?

 

-The second was safety and just being a guy. If any of you all know DC (= not safe). A young, attractive girl (with a drink or two in her) taking a metro train ride by herself late at night after a huge sports game is ridiculously dangerous and asking for something bad to happen. Especially since it would have involved a good bit of walking alone.

[clia]

I can sort of understand if she wanted to go to her parents' after the game instead of all the way back to school, since they lived closer. It's a little weird, but fine, whatever. And you absolutely did the right thing by driving her there instead of letting her take the train alone.

 

But I think it is so, so rude of her to expect you to drive back out to her parents' house the next day to bring her back to school. I mean, WTF? You are a prince for doing that. If her parents were so concerned about her, why couldn't they drive her back to school the next day? I can't even conceive of expecting a guy to do that without even asking him if he minded. It seems so entitled. And she didn't even kiss you!

 

Ugh...I feel for you. I don't blame you for feeling shocked about it all.