Sophie12 Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Hi everyone I'm looking for some advice/a shoulder to cry on really a few weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with my because of religious reasons and I'm finding it very hard to move on we still talk everyday and still see each other I know I shouldn't be but it's so hard, some days he's really affectionate and talks to me all the time and other days he's very distant, I'm finding it difficult to let go because I still love him so much and the thought of him being married off sometime in the near future is breaking my heart even more, it's all I think about and it's making me so paranoid as in constantly thinking he's with another girl
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 The only way you will heal is to stop being in contact with him. I know it's hard but it's like picking a scab. It just re-bleeds. Completely let him go & concentrate on healing. Surround yourself with friends who love you. 2
aaron11892 Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 You need to tell him it's for the best that both of you cease contact because it is very hard on you. The more you keep communicating the harder it will be to move on, plus you are just prolonging your own healing. If he disagrees with you, you need to be strong enough to say no and go no contact. That is the only way you will ever recover from the break up even if it sounds hard. 1
Chi townD Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Sorry you got dumped for such a weak ass excuse. Religious differences? Really?!?! So what! I have some friends that are married to each other. He's a Catholic and she's Jewish. I know that if I go to their home this holiday season, I'll walk into their house and see a Christmas tree in the living room and a Menorah on the dining room table. They're from different religions but they respect each others different beliefs and customs. And they make it work. So, as far as I'm concerned, it's a weak ass excuse.
Author Sophie12 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 The only way you will heal is to stop being in contact with him. I know it's hard but it's like picking a scab. It just re-bleeds. Completely let him go & concentrate on healing. Surround yourself with friends who love you. Thank you for your reply I know in making it worse for myself just when I spend time with him I get a little bit of happiness back stupid i know and he starts a conversation with me and the. Just stops replying even think see his been online it's so frustrating
Author Sophie12 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 Sorry you got dumped for such a weak ass excuse. Religious differences? Really?!?! So what! I have some friends that are married to each other. He's a Catholic and she's Jewish. I know that if I go to their home this holiday season, I'll walk into their house and see a Christmas tree in the living room and a Menorah on the dining room table. They're from different religions but they respect each others different beliefs and customs. And they make it work. So, as far as I'm concerned, it's a weak ass excuse. It does make me sad that he wouldn't take the chance with me but he says that he doesn't want to disappoint his mum and be not being a Muslim would do that it breaks my heart it really does because he's still affectionate towards me
Chi townD Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 It does make me sad that he wouldn't take the chance with me but he says that he doesn't want to disappoint his mum and be not being a Muslim would do that it breaks my heart it really does because he's still affectionate towards me Now, that's where the problem lies. Not being accepted by the families. My friends marriage would have a difficult time if they didn't have the support of the families. The Jewish girls father didn't like the fact that she was dating a Catholic. He was always afraid that he would try to convert her to Catholicism. But, once he realized that he wasn't going to do that and respected her faith, he warmed up to him after a while and her mother was happy as long as he made her daughter happy. Now, the biggest problem with Muslims (even thought they are a peaceful religion) they are extremely hard lined and against interfaith marriages. And you shouldn't have to give up your faith or religion to make someone else happy. Sorry girl, but you might have to move on from this one.
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 NC means you unfriend him & stop following him in all social media so you won't know if he's been on line & it won't hurt so much.
ayudorama Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I don't see how this will bode well for you in the long run if you both keep communicating I'm of the same faith as your ex, and although it isn't impossible for a muslim man to marry a non-muslim woman, it is generally frowned upon by other members of the family. Since he has made it clear that he doesn't want to disappoint his mom, and he wouldn't be able to take a chance with you, then you should draw a clear boundary. I know it isn't going to be easy, but in order to prevent yourself from going through that same cycle of contact-temporary happiness-hurt-wondering if he's with someone else, you need to go NC as soon as possible. It's tempting to want to keep this up, the casual communication, but you'll end up getting your hopes up and you may get hurt worse later on down the road.
Fufu Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Hi everyone I'm looking for some advice/a shoulder to cry on really a few weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with my because of religious reasons and I'm finding it very hard to move on we still talk everyday and still see each other I know I shouldn't be but it's so hard, some days he's really affectionate and talks to me all the time and other days he's very distant, I'm finding it difficult to let go because I still love him so much and the thought of him being married off sometime in the near future is breaking my heart even more, it's all I think about and it's making me so paranoid as in constantly thinking he's with another girl My dear don't date anyone who don't respect your choice of religion. Based on your describe, it doesn't seem to be he is really into this relationship. Time to move on and you deserve a person who respects you and your religion.
Haydn Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Hi, sorry your going through it. Block from everything, dont be curious. BLOCK. Take care.
headinthecloud Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I feel for you, OP. I've witnessed this type of BU before, differing fundamental values, and it's a terrible heartbreak. You must go full NC (no contact) and move on. You cannot be friends with him until you've completely healed. The day when you think of him with someone else and you have only happiness in your thoughts and heart is the day you can be friends. It will take a few months just to get over the loss of the friendship, and it can take longer than that to truly be over your relationship. I found this guide helpful when I had questions on what to do. Topics of Breakup Recovery Guide It does pass, I promise. But don't lose hope for what will be. In times like this it is your faith that will get you through it. Be strong and respect his wîshes. But go full NC to heal.
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