BC1980 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 We will never know the real reason. Even if she gave you a reason, who knows if it's true. She might not even know her own reasons. I found that it was better to decipher my own reasons for my actions in the relationship. It was something I could do to make myself better.
Zahara Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I understand the need to want to know. In some sense, you want to feel vindicated, hoping to at least know that they realize their mistakes and that they at least feel an eighth of the pain that you felt when this person dumped you. It's normal to have residual feelings but don't expend this much energy on trying to understand human behavior. It could be as simple and selfish as her realizing that there aren't any prospects out there and that the possibility of you being there again for her is probable. And even if she said what she said, people say what they want to say because they know what you want to hear. It would be in your best interest to just accept her apology, forgive her if you want to and start re-focusing on yourself. You'll never get a sure fire answer as to why she's doing what she's doing. 1
Author aloneinaz Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Z- I do really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. I wish I was at the point of receiving that text, smiling and then deleting it w/out a second thought. I know I'll get there but I also have to be honest w/myself as well. I'm not harboring any deep anger any longer towards her. In fact, I often wonder if she's getting the needed therapy to make her life happier and for the sake of her kids. Someone said she came to the conclusion or realization that she still had all her same stresses and problems w/out me in her life and maybe finally put two and two together. To your point, I have been off/on these boards and understand in all reality that she was fishing to see how I'd respond to her. I am blown away that she came to my house to 'apologize" face to face. She must of been a nervous wreck ringing my door bell not know how I'd treat her when I opened the door. Then when she texted me the next day to apologize. I don't plan to reply or reengage w/her again. If her sending me a text apologizing for being a lousy GF makes her feel better, then good for her. I don't fell compelled to validate her apology when there's probably an alternative reason for the contact.
lil hoodlum Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 It must feel good to have at least been vindicated as a person and as a relationship partner. It shows that she recognizes that she was wrong to treat you as such and that she does feel some remorse for they way she acted. I am like you in that I wonder about the "why"? Just accept her apology. She at least "tried" to set things right. It could be for any number of reasons. Just take it that you were a good person and didn't deserve to be treated the way she treated you.
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