jaguar Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 It is a pity but I grew up in a culture where men and women don't touch each other after they turn maybe 14 or 15. Yes I am not kidding. You don't even call some girl by tapping on her shoulder or something like that. We just grew up like that. We are just not supposed to do it. Even if it is your best friend, you can't touch her unless it is for sexual purposes. For me, definitely, this is a problem since I am always doubtful if I can touch even in situations where a little bit of touching is ok. This is a barrier, you can say, for me to get over. Like the last party, a girl was grinding on me and I was still doubtful and was wondering if it was fine. She was falling all over me and I was still puzzled. Eventually I did touch and all that but, you could say, it took a lot of convincing. I guess this is why you have characters like Raj in the Big bang theory. But you know, most of my colleagues have adapted immediately. I am still a little slow LOL. Like last time, I accidentally leaned on a girl (I was too drunk) and I apologized immediately with an embarrassed look. She was smiling and telling her friend "why is he apologizing?" It is strange but I guess maybe I can loosen up a little bit, these women are not like the ones in my hometown (ugh). Especially the Latino chicks.
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Force yourself to practice, on all women & girls, not just ones you want to date. Tap a woman on the shoulder to get her attention. Pat a woman's hand to comfort her. If you have good female friends, hug them. Eventually you will become more confident.
taiko Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 I come from a nation and time when actual sexual contact became rather routine but at times I still flinch at the casual non sexual contact from my wife who would touch when I would say something verbally. And then physical hand and body signals are often the reverse that we have individually been raised with. You will either adapt to local customs or retreat to your base attitudes and perhaps react in horror at things like seeing a woman's real hair. Because sexual contact feels so good there is a lot of incentive to start accepting casual contact to ease the way to actual sexual contact like the grinding that goes on at parties.
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