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ex gf sleeps with my bestfriend

imissyoudear

By imissyoudear
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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crederer Established Member

crederer

Posted
Posted

This thread also made me very upset. Dude......STOP HELPING HER, for the love of god and for the sake of men's balls every, stop, just stop.

 

If my ex cheated on me with a friend of mine, they'd be finding both of their body parts scattered throughout the city. Just thinking of this makes me irate. I wouldn't be helping her dumb ass trying to figure out things that are probably over her head to begin with.

  • Like 2
aliveagain Established Member

aliveagain

Posted
Posted
I just woke up in the night again and started reading the replies :)

 

Thanks guys for all the answers!! really i read them all, all the support and that makes me feel better! Thanks!

 

Everybody said i should cut them loose, well i don't hang out with my bestfriend anymore, he has new friends too (and all in all he has everything including my gf).

 

But here are some problems why i cant "no contact" her:

- she needs my help at the university

- we already build a group in the university, that means we have to do at least our homework together. This group was also my fault, i did everything we end up in a group because i missed her.

- i don't want to hurt her with nc

- it feels so good when she is around and we talk about our little things in the past, i see how she misses the time. Shows me that i wasnt that bad and she really liked me then.

 

 

Here is what i try to do:

- deny additional contact

- i still really have to do some homework with her, but i try to keep it professional and limit it to the minimum.

- find new friends, go to the gym

- get laid maybe, but not that easy with my current attitude, i just look so sad.

 

 

Everybody said I should cut them loose, why the f**k won't you listen than? What do you think everyone in your study group thinks of you knowing your girlfriend is banging your best friend? Dump the group, dump her, dump him, this is about you not her. Who cares if she's happy, stop the B/S about wanting her to be happy, no one is buying that crap. Get angry, cut her cheating ass out of your life, do it now. Save your dignity.

Canadiangirl78 Established Member

Canadiangirl78

Posted
Posted

Umm, okay..so let me get this straight..her and your best friend did this to you and you're worried about THEIR feelings? Whaaaat? Buddy, my balls are bigger then yours and I'm a woman. STOP IT! Who cares if she needs your help? Maybe if she wasn't spending so much damn time on her back with your best friend ontop of her she would be able to do her own damn homework! Don't talk to them, don't look at them if you pass them in the hallways, don't even acknowledge their existence. Take the advice others are giving you on here and go NC. Like people have said, if you allow people to walk all over you, they will.

greenfairie Established Member

greenfairie

Posted
Posted
Wow, dude. Awesome gameplan you got there. That plan sets you up to be the biggest doormat and cuckold in the world!

 

Seriously dude. You are at the University. You are responsible to no one but yourself. Your education falls on no one but you! You are NOT responsible to a group. You are NOT responsible to tutor her or do her homework.

 

So, you want an education? Here's a lesson for you. Your gameplan is only teaching her that it's okay to betray the ones that loved her. That there is no consequences to her actions (she still gets what she wants). She doesn't have a clue of the magnitude of pain that your in. Or the lack of sleep that's happening to you. Or maybe she does and really doesn't give a sh*t. You're giving her the best of both worlds. She has you to fill her emotional needs and to secure her a passing grade, and she has your Ex best friend to screw her brains out and get all of her physical needs met. And, due to your gameplan, she gets to do this all guilt free.

 

Dude, you're making excuses to stay in her life one way or another. And here's the rub, YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!! You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve someone that will cherish a relationship with you and you deserve someone that won't betray your trust.

 

She cheated on you with your friend. She left you for your friend. That should tell you she values this douche rocket more than you. Therefore, she made a choice and unfortunately, it wasn't you. So, remove yourself from her life. That was HER choice, not YOURS. But, she has to learn either she gets 100% of you or nothing at all. NOT bits of you that fits her immediate needs.

 

Time to move on dude. There are other groups or clubs that you can join that you can form new friendships with. If you leave this group, there are other places to go. You are not isolated to one group. Find your self respect and your self worth, dude. Find your spine! Find your self confidence! TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THAT!!!!

 

Find the courage to walk away.

 

 

 

I agree. I went thru the exact same situation you are in right now. It just happened to be my ex bf and my best friend. They were screwing each other for months, little did I know. All of our mutual friends knew though and they kept contact with me throughout the whole time. When I really realized they were together, I just knew I had to cut myself away from them FOR GOOD. If we maintain contact, it'll just allow them to think oh what they did was okay and it wasn't THAT bad.. But dude, what the ****. They brought you a world of pain. I know it's hard not to say all the good things about them, I'm sure they're great but they need to learn behaviors got consequences too and they can't get away WITH EVERY selfish thing they do thinking it won't be much harm…..

 

I've been going six months NC and last I heard about my best friend and ex bf, they're not in the best places in their lives right now and my ex best friend constantly keeps talking about me and my ex bf. My mutual friends are definitely feeling awkward and uncomfortable, they don't want to be too involved. She's always like, I miss my best friend. I lost her.

 

It's obvious she hasn't moved on past the guilt… well she has the rest of her life to redeem herself.. I don't respect anybody who does shady **** like that.

  • Like 1
Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted (edited)
I just woke up in the night again and started reading the replies :)

 

Thanks guys for all the answers!! really i read them all, all the support and that makes me feel better! Thanks!

 

Everybody said i should cut them loose, well i don't hang out with my bestfriend anymore, he has new friends too (and all in all he has everything including my gf).

 

But here are some problems why i cant "no contact" her:

- she needs my help at the university

- we already build a group in the university, that means we have to do at least our homework together. This group was also my fault, i did everything we end up in a group because i missed her.

- i don't want to hurt her with nc

- it feels so good when she is around and we talk about our little things in the past, i see how she misses the time. Shows me that i wasnt that bad and she really liked me then.

 

 

Here is what i try to do:

- deny additional contact

- i still really have to do some homework with her, but i try to keep it professional and limit it to the minimum.

- find new friends, go to the gym

- get laid maybe, but not that easy with my current attitude, i just look so sad.

 

This is literally the most pathetic thing I've ever read. This chick dumped you for your best friend and you are sitting there like a worthless piece of crap helping her with her homework because you are afraid. I mean, reread this. If a friend of yours (a real friend, not the douche who stole your girl) told you this, you'd smack them upside the head.

 

I mean, I've seen some messed up crap on this board in my year-plus that I've posted on it, but this just makes me sad that someone like you can have so little self-respect. She wanted to be done with your relationship, you need to be done with her completely.

Edited by Simon Phoenix
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