vyrulence Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 (edited) Long story short, we just moved into our second apartment in another city about 2 months ago. Our sexual desires for one-another died down due to really long work hours on both sides, even before we moved. She ended the relationship and I've just moved out and am now living at the flat of co-worker in another city. We have a really strong bond on all other relationship layers and she's a person I trust deeply. Despite her saying it is too late and that the feeling of sexual desire won't come back, I think it's something we can work on. Especially because everything else in our relationship just works so good. We talked a lot about it in the last week without any kind of shouting or hurtful words. We were both really understanding and respectful to each other, but I can't convince her to work on it. I love her deeply, I love being with her and I love being in the apartment. She does too. But we both know there's our missing sex life. I want to fix it, she says she can't see how. She said she would do anything that our break up would be as well as in any way possible. That she would like that we both help each other find a new apartment and we could live together until everyone found something new. That she would help me pack stuff and even move it. I thought about it and decided that the best thing to do would be moving out, initiating NC and let her figure out what she really wants. Tuesday last week I've packed all my things while we talked about everything again. I told her I still believe in us and that we're able to overcome our sexual problems if we stick together. We had a nice last evening together and everything felt so good. I just don't want to go. It feels as if we didn't even try to fix it and I'm just going because. But I respect her feelings and don't want to force anything. The next morning we said goodbye at the train station, thanked us for everything and kissed. She said that if she feels that she decided wrong, she'll take the courage and tell me. It feels as if it isn't over! That's what my heart tells me. But my gut says otherwise. It's now the fifth day of NC and generally I'm keeping up pretty good. I'm proud of myself for keeping my word and handling the situation like I wanted to. The problem is I can't sustain in my current situation forever, because I live in my co-workers apartment. I don't feel at home in this new city and not being in my beloved apartment pulls me down the most. We HAVE to talk at some point because we both are still paying rent and also have still to cancel the contract! I still wish she would contact me and say she made a mistake or at least tell she's moving out or something. I don't want to act first because I want to keep NC! What kills me is that she's not moving in either direction! Have heard nothing from her. I'm starting to regret my NC decision. Maybe I should just get back in the apartment and handle everything so that we can both move on? Should I keep NC until she does something? It's only five days! Thanks for reading. Edited November 4, 2013 by vyrulence
Philosoraptor Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 So you wanted to fix things but she would rather be single? Sounds like she wants to sleep with someone, just not you. Trust your gut, get the contract fixed ASAP, and start to move on with your life. She's pretty much said "be my option if I want it" and you agreed.
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