How can we stay strong between visits? Breaking us down...

[beelibra]

my long distance boyfriend and I have been dating since April. He lives in Arizona and I live in California, and we work it out to see each other every 3 or so weeks. I can't even explain how perfect things are when we are together, I know that we are meant to be in each others lives and there's just something that's just so reassuring about it. I saw him about a week and a half ago and stayed there for almost a week, and he bought me a promise ring. We had an amazing time together bonding as usual, and he will be coming out to stay a week with me in a few days. Last night was a rough night for us, he saw something on Facebook I posted about wanting to go out for drinks and I guess it just struck him wrong since he can't be here with me the distance kind of hit him. Which we know this isn't going to be easy and it will do that to the both of us, that he was being really short when I was trying to figure out what was wrong and was being kind of rude. He told me he didn't know what to say to me and sometimes he just needs some time to himself. We didn't talk all day until around 6 p.m. Today and I texted him reassuring him that it wasn't going to be easy but we shouldn't not talk to each other through it and help each other instead. I'm really concerned, because he is overprotective and last night when he was kind of upset he told me he's over protective if this is going to work get used to it because the 400 miles between us isn't helping. That hurt me when he said that because I know I'm his world and when we're together we are stronger than ever, but it feels so fragile when we're apart.I wish there was more that I could do 2 be strong for the both of us when one of us is hurting, he does the same for me. It's scary having someone your madly in love with feeling like they can fall out of your life at any moment. We have something amazing going and we both know it, I just want to know any advice on what I can do to make it between these visits together. For both him and I. Sometimes I feel like just moving closer to him but 1 i don't want to ruin our relationship, and 2 I know it is too soon. any advice or insight is greatly appreciated. Sometimes I feel like were perfect together and he's perfect, but when we're apart I see a side of him from hurting that I don't see myself being able to deal with long term. And it sucks because it's nothing like that when we're together. He also has a son who lives in the same city as I do, he grew up here all of his life. & I also have a daughter, and he plans on moving here in a year or two. So I don't know if us even talking about me moving up there until he decides to is helpful or not. Thank you guys!

Edited November 4, 2013 by beelibra

[madjac74]

He probably hurts because he doesn't have this amazing girl that he brags about to his family and friends...there! And even if they know how great you are...you arent there!

[Solcita2]

How old are you two?

 

You see each other very often, it shouldn't be that hard for you to cope between visits...

 

Even if you were in a no-LDR type of R you wouldn't be together 24/7 and sometimes you would go out by yourself with your friends...

Being sad or upset because the other one is having fun I think it's a little bit inmature... You are suposed to be glad they´re having fun... My F and I both encourage each other to go out and have fun instead of staying home every day... it's hard enough to be away after we used to live together, so going out is a way of be better... we trust each other as well, so no insecurities around here... does he trust you? If he does, expecting you to never go out unless he's with you is a little bit selfish...

[d0nnivain]

I did a bi-coastal LDR in the days before cell phones & the internet.

 

We wrote snail mail letters every day, we called once per week & if one of us did something outside our normal routine, we got the other a "souvenier" from that trip. For example, if I went into the big city near here, I'd send a postcard. If he went to Disney I got a key chain or something else little & silly. It helped to make us feel like part of the other one's daily life.

 

You both have to be cautious about overreacting to face book. I had a drink is far different from steamy sex with a new person.

[beelibra]

He is 24 and I am 21. But he doesn't get upset at all if I go out, he encourages it because I have the same routine and he wants me to have fun and hang out with friends. That's why I didn't understand why he was upset by my post and when it came down to it it was just because he missed me. He does trust me but his baby screwed him over really bad so he does have insecurities. Which doesn't mix well with him being overprotective, he kind of feels a little threatened at times I guess. I was also screwed over so we're both understanding and we both console one another when we have doubt, but we do trust each other and love each other very much. He's far from immature, and like I said does not get upset when I go out.

 

How old are you two?

 

You see each other very often, it shouldn't be that hard for you to cope between visits...

 

Even if you were in a no-LDR type of R you wouldn't be together 24/7 and sometimes you would go out by yourself with your friends...

Being sad or upset because the other one is having fun I think it's a little bit inmature... You are suposed to be glad they´re having fun... My F and I both encourage each other to go out and have fun instead of staying home every day... it's hard enough to be away after we used to live together, so going out is a way of be better... we trust each other as well, so no insecurities around here... does he trust you? If he does, expecting you to never go out unless he's with you is a little bit selfish...