Im still having a tough time - i can't let him see me cry anymore.....suck it up

[hugznkisses21]

Hey me again,

 

I still having a hard time not getting all emotional wrapped up in this....and it is weight heavy on him since he is already going through a stressful time

 

Anyways my bf is going through some stuff, family stuff, them threatening to kick him out cause he isnt finishing a lisence course that he stopped in order to work full time 5 years ago, having a very tough time getting a car and his family haseling him on that, calling him a liar, and him not having something to get to work for next week.

 

As a result of all this....i get the sweet names, the hugs, and the kisses (pecky ones) but no action, making out or anything that would too sexual. This is hard for me and im taking is sooo emotionally and he is seeing me get upset and cry now almost everytime i see himn....cause it makes me feel unpretty, unsexy and undesireable.....i talked about it with him today and he said he doesnt know how to describe what is going on and why....he just said maybe he is soooo stressed and he cant stop thinking about it and he is sooo sorry and that as soon as things get better not to worry they will go back to normal soon...(i.e when he gets a car, his parents off his back and his lic for work).....He says i love u soo much i really do.....so i know this and i love him but it is sooo hard to have a relationship that is slightly long dis....we live one hour away and when i see him not get the same reaction i used to....the wanna rip your clothes off reaction....cause im feeling neglected and hurt.....how can i let go of the emotional stuff (i.e im a very very emoytional person i cry when someone is sweet, very happy, or very sad....so im a suck) and i dont wanna cry cause it isnt really his fault...how can i let this go for the time being while he gets things oin order without feeling like he doesnt want me or undesirable to him when i he has said over and over i am everything to him.

 

Help me

[hugznkisses21]

bump!

[Barby]

This is more of a self esteem issue for you than an issue you the two of you. He's told you that he's under enormous stress (which you know is the truth) and he's having trouble dealing, he's explained to you that it's not you, it's not that he loves you any less, ect, ect, ect!

 

Though this doesn't make it any easier for you at least he's still seeing you, giving you attention, telling you he loves you, ect.

 

 

I can imagine not feeling "desireable" to him is making you feel like sh*t so if it is going to cause that much conflict and pain in your life maybe you should consider ending the relationship and finding someone who can give you the type of reassurance and attention that you need.

 

Not that you're asking for too much but obviously he isn't capable right now so that's something you need to consider!

[hugznkisses21]

i see what u are saying but we have been together for 1.5 years and im not going to leave him....he reassures me that this isnt me, or us it something stessful going on with him and im still preety and sexy and desireable to him but due to his lack or sexual contact i dont feel desireable u get what i mean

[Barby]

Yes I know what you mean...again I just responded to your other post.

 

 

I think him having lack of intimacy with you makes you feel that he is somehow not feeling the same about the two of you....being together so long probably has made him feel that you'll understand this and not internalize it....

 

 

Though I can see how not being "wanted" sexually (or so you feel) could wear on your self esteem but you have to remember it's circumstances beyond his control right now that is stressing him out and he's not able to give you what you desire right now...I can't imagine but all I can say is if you love him all you can do is stick it out and be there for him.

[hugznkisses21]

yes u are right!

 

this i want to do for him....i want to be srong and supportive and im trying i listen to all his problems and give him suggestions and support him but its sooo hard to keep all that feeling inside...im a talker...when i know it is not something he needs right now!