Scirok Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Ok so I've consulted a few friends on this one and they are as confused as I am on this one well here it goes try to stay with me I met this girl at my work she's 20 I just turned 25 we started to text and soon dating followed everything was going very well we enjoyed each other's company and had some good conversations This continued like this for about 2 weeks then one night we went to the movies and she was all about me holding my hand cuddling with me (never happened prior) then we went back to her apartment for a drink we enjoyed a drink then she invited me in her bed to watch a movie (turn typical guys mind on) so I'm basically thinking she wants to take this further we watch about an hour of the movie and she turns around and acts like she wants me to kiss her so we kiss and so on and so on stuff gets heavier then she just stopped all of a sudden and says she needs to be up early tomorrow so I proceed to leave After I leave she texts me a bunch of paragraphs about how stuff just went so fast and she believes we should just be friends (yuck) and so on and something on the lines of she doesn't wanna waste my time if she's not so sure (we talked about this earlier as "pet peeves in dating" ) so I got pretty pissed obv and so began the awkwardness we didn't talk at work for about a week Then I sent a text asking if we could grab dinner to clear up this awkwardness she agrees we talk and agree to be friends for now Fast forward 2 weeks now she keeps asking me to hang out meet her friends and fam So here is where i got confused we hung out last night her place with some of her friends drinking we watched movies and her friends the whole night she's trying to hold my hand on the couch and cuddle and lay on me (like wtf) "friends" don't do this.... later in the night she asked me if I wanted to sleep over so I agreed (what the hell right) this time I mind my own space she eventually grabs my arm to get me to cuddle with her we just cuddle I don't make any movies cause I'm not playing that game again and what the f*** we are just friends I thought why is she doing this we fall asleep and I wake to her face to face with me smiling cuddling with me so we cuddle some more and begin talking and she meantions the friends stuff again and do I normally cuddle with my friends and I'm like nooooo and I asked her how she explains me and her to her friends and family she explains it's complicated. So she then proceeds to say we are not dating in an indirect way so then I ask her if we are just friends is she gonna get mad if I date other girls she got very quiet and answered no in a very dishonest answer and she seemed pissed. So if you made it this far I'm sure your mind is blown I don't get this girl unless she's bipolar it doesn't make sense at all does anyone know what I should do here if anything
LucyElric Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 I would say unless you really like this girl, and have good reason to, you shouldn't worry about it too much. Like you said, playing games like that is a no-no. However, if you must. Maybe try to confront her one more time and make it clear what you want and what is not okay to do, like play the whole "friends with benefits" card. Set some ground rules. It seems she may be extremely unsure of what she wants, afraid of commitment, or just not entirely made up on how she feels about you. Whatever it is, definitely be prepared for whatever outcome. I hope it ends up how you want it to!
Author Scirok Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 I just don't know what to do it's been really bothering me I don't wanna get used but I really like this girl a lot
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Apparently she's up for friendship with some benefits. Whether you can or want to parlay that into all benefits is up to you.
todreaminblue Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Be straigh with her tell her what you want, you dont want to be friends with her, you arent insecure you don't want to play games with hr you will give her two days to make uyp her mind, and then you will walk if she can tmake up her mind, say you don't want a fwb if that si what you don't want, be clear, consider the fact, if you like her truly you will do this, otherwise you are just wasting time yourself... its not playing to be honest its adulthood. Say you are beyond games, now she needs to make up her mind.Be respectful, but be true to who you are, what you want and ultimately if you do this you get what you need, and so does she... she will respect your no nonsense approach.There is nothing more attractive than a guy who knows how to find what he wants and does so with calm strength, who doesnt put up with vague feminine doubt adn indecision....Be the man int he relationship or let her .Its up to you. .If she doesn't come forward and say yes after this, and admire your character,she isn't mature enough for you and i would hazard a guess to say any guy, she isnt mature enough for. call out her rationale and make her internalize what she wants....then you get what you need....a true answer.this si my opinion which may or may not be how you operate.I think that it stops a lot of hours wasted so try it if you have that strength in there.If you dont have it dig deep and Find it..good luck.
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 She is using you as an emotional tampon 1
Author Scirok Posted November 5, 2013 Author Posted November 5, 2013 She is using you as an emotional tampon That's what I was afraid of I wanna call her out like you guys have suggested but she said before she just wants to be friends and I feel like if I say I like her she will think I'm crazy cause we haven't known each other that long
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 That's what I was afraid of I wanna call her out like you guys have suggested but she said before she just wants to be friends and I feel like if I say I like her she will think I'm crazy cause we haven't known each other that long Call her out only if you are ready to burn that bridge.
tunaluna Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I'd say just don't take this relationship serious for now and ride this ride for a month. Are you noticing that when you don't show her affection she is all over you. People want what they cant have.... After a month if she don't bring up dating than leave.
Uwaae Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Why do you care to call her out? Why do you even think about this situation? Why are you even worried about any labels that she puts on the relationship? Dont ask her about any of this The best thing you did is ask her if you could date other girls, and she gave you the OK. Go out with other girls, and try not to "Fall in love" like a silly schoolboy over this girl. When she says anything thing about "Just friends" just say "OK' and just move on with whatever. I dont understand why any of this is bothering you
Author Scirok Posted November 9, 2013 Author Posted November 9, 2013 I couldn't really tell you why it's bothering me besides I have a very hard time finding girls to date
MalachiX Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 I couldn't really tell you why it's bothering me besides I have a very hard time finding girls to date I think you'll have better luck with women if you treat yourself with respect. As long as you're letting her do this too you, you're being a doormat. Just think of all the women who you've met who complain they always date jerks but keep letting men treat them badly. Neither gender has a monopoly on this. Trust that you're a worthwhile person and will find someone who will treat you well. Don't hang around this girl who is using you because you feel desperate. Or have sex with her and then move on. At least then you got something out of this
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