Lizrd3000 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Stalk you on Facebook through a mutual's friend account? Don't ask me how I know, I know she does. What could she be plotting? seriously. She dumped me. She still ''loved'' me though and misses me, but hey, I can't be in a relationship with you. You know what? I'll cyber stalk you when you delete me off Facebook! Also, she switches Profile pictures on whatsapp every day now, she never did this before. and the picture she has now is of something random but we both know what's it about, and no one else would. I'm probably over thinking things. I don't even want her back. Ugh. Still curious why she's doing what she's doing though. Currently in NC for 1.5 weeks (besides checking her last online status on whatsapp, but I've deleted her number now. yay me)
d0nnivain Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 It may be b/c she is having more trouble letting go than she thought she would. There's also something to be said for the idea that she can't get over you getting over her. 2
Author Lizrd3000 Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 It may be b/c she is having more trouble letting go than she thought she would. There's also something to be said for the idea that she can't get over you getting over her. She dumped me for not being ''dominant'' enough for her controlling behaviour. After the BU, I've realized she might have BPD. I knew during the relationship that she had issues, but never knew what she had. besides ADD and depression. I hope that she misses me, begs me to come back, for me to tell her ''No'', I really do. Unbelievable how bitter one can become after being dumped and finding out she left you for some dude from her class she was emotionally cheating with on me, and a few days later hooking up with the guy to only realize that he wasn't all ''that''. Made my evil smile go through though. Now just wait for her to come back. I'm bitter. Sorry just letting it all out. 2
hurts2death Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 ^ this plus easing her guilt boosting her ego and what else? curiosity just ignore
AllTooWell Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 You aren't doing the whole NC thing if you are checking in on her whatsoever - NO social media, no finding out her behaviour from friends. If someone offers you information on her, it sucks and it's hard but your response needs to be "I really couldn't care less about what she's up to." She isn't plotting anything. You ARE reading into her behaviour. You are over analyzing. You are obsessing over what she is doing trying to convince yourself it has something to do with you, whether or not you want her back. You're curious about her behaviour. You need to let that go. It sucks and it's hard but it doesn't MATTER what she is doing or why she's doing it. It does not matter. And you can't let it matter. I know it takes time and we all have to start somewhere, I still get urges to check on my ex's social media. It takes time and it takes practice, and you will get there. I just wanted to stress the importance of letting go and not obsessing over what your ex is doing or why 1
aybc123 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Clearly OP does. Anyway OP she's probably wondering if she made the right decision and wonders how you're doing. If you disappeared off the radar it's bound to be playing with her head a bit because she thinks youre doing better about it than she is. If you dont want her back though then just try not to think about it and carry on carrying on.
what_a_blonde Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 I doubt she is plotting anything however I do think she is missing you and wondering how you're doing. After all, thats the glory of social media these days. You can stalk an ex without having to contact them and without them knowing about it.
xUnknown Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 She misses you..the changing of the profile picture to an "inside joke" type pic that only you and her know about - is her way of wanted to get your attention. She is having a tough time getting over you and is reaching out to you, so you would get in contact with her...so then she can raise her ego by having you be the one to contact her. This would make her feel better about herself thinking "ohh he still thinks about me, I feel better now". Those are just my thoughts. 2
travelonic Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 The question is who gives a crap? ... not really, obviouslt the OP does - and it is a legit question. /hatesPeopleCrappingOnThreadsUnnecessarily
Woggle Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Sometimes they don't want you but want to know they still have you hooked.
Riou Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 You probably think too much.She probably didn't stalk you since you can't certify it.It's all your guesses. From her watsapp behaviour,seems like she wants a reaction from you or just want to keep you sad while she's happy out there.She might truly miss you or just want you to miss her.
keepontruckin Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 OP, women do strange things... After my wife left, I dug out this old laptop that I bought her, and had since been replaced by a better one. I pulled up the browser history, and low and behold she was searching all of her exes on Facebook, etc., about a week before our marriage!
Author Lizrd3000 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 She misses you..the changing of the profile picture to an "inside joke" type pic that only you and her know about - is her way of wanted to get your attention. She is having a tough time getting over you and is reaching out to you, so you would get in contact with her...so then she can raise her ego by having you be the one to contact her. This would make her feel better about herself thinking "ohh he still thinks about me, I feel better now". Those are just my thoughts. This actually makes a lot of sense, and I think she's doing exactly this. I havent told her about the NC thing, but havent initiated contact at all, but Ive ignored her reaching out before 1 week into our BU, so I think she's afraid of being rejected again, and wants to see how long I can go not contacting her. Thanks for the responses guys, they all made me see things more clearly!
headinthecloud Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 The purpose of NC is for you to heal and get over the BU. She is gone. Time to not care what or who she is doing. And ask your friends not to update you either. You only need to focus on you. 1
maturityassets Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 (edited) Ex's are hurting as well... They no longer feel like they belong anywhere and are dying to know if you still care for them. My Ex actually started believing that she was the one dumped, the way I didn't even bother talking to her or just gave her indifferent responses whenever she texted me. Then things got even more sour when she directly tried to get me jealous when she started saying who she was hooking up with. But you know these are just the initial stages of breaking up and over time you were get over this. It happens, some girls have told me they always check their exes Facebook if they had dumped those guys, just to see how they are. Regardless it doesn't really matter... Part of this is also our mind reading to much into the matter as well. We are a bit self centered when it comes to our exes. I remember when I started a new relationship, my friend started telling me that my ex was posting something everyday like memories don't change even if people do. Or posting a profile pic with a batman shirt on when I'm a huge batman fan boy and we probably watched the dark knight rises a few times together. Or even when she then entered a new relationship and I then checked her Facebook profile and her profile pic was her and her new boyfriend at Coney island (the place I asked her out and we went there frequently because we loved the area and it reminded us of that day... Plus allowed for back seat action lol). So yeah I could feed into all of this in thinking that she does that all for my attention, but after a certain amount of time you laugh it off. Thinking well it doesn't even matter if she is trying to get my attention because if she really wanted it she would just text me.... But I sometimes love to think I'm the center of people's world for the sake of humor lmao. Don't worry to much man, let her do what she is doing and you focus on what you are doing Edited November 4, 2013 by maturityassets 1
Author Lizrd3000 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 Ex's are hurting as well... They no longer feel like they belong anywhere and are dying to know if you still care for them. My Ex actually started believing that she was the one dumped, the way I didn't even bother talking to her or just gave her indifferent responses whenever she texted me. Then things got even more sour when she directly tried to get me jealous when she started saying who she was hooking up with. But you know these are just the initial stages of breaking up and over time you were get over this. It happens, some girls have told me they always check their exes Facebook if they had dumped those guys, just to see how they are. Regardless it doesn't really matter... Part of this is also our mind reading to much into the matter as well. We are a bit self centered when it comes to our exes. I remember when I started a new relationship, my friend started telling me that my ex was posting something everyday like memories don't change even if people do. Or posting a profile pic with a batman shirt on when I'm a huge batman fan boy and we probably watched the dark knight rises a few times together. Or even when she then entered a new relationship and I then checked her Facebook profile and her profile pic was her and her new boyfriend at Coney island (the place I asked her out and we went there frequently because we loved the area and it reminded us of that day... Plus allowed for back seat action lol). So yeah I could feed into all of this in thinking that she does that all for my attention, but after a certain amount of time you laugh it off. Thinking well it doesn't even matter if she is trying to get my attention because if she really wanted it she would just text me.... But I sometimes love to think I'm the center of people's world for the sake of humor lmao. Don't worry to much man, let her do what she is doing and you focus on what you are doing No, you're absolutely right. She tried making me jealous too, but her trying to actually get a reaction out of me just humors me, I love it! Even though she ended things with me because she has BPD and needs a boyfriend who can manage that, she still loves me. so I know this is hard on her too. I care for her too, but I don't love her anymore, after all the **** she'd make me go through. I know this was the disorder, but that's part of her, for now. She goes to a therapist for it. Wish her the best! 1
aloneinaz Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 OP- If she truly is Borderline, be GREATFUL that you got out. No one needs that nightmare. My last GF clearly suffered BPD to some level. Talk about mood instability, temper, anger, etc.. Be glad that she's "someone else's problem" and move on. If you feel like (guessing) she's truly stalking your Facebook, find a new girl and post some pics of your two together. Nothings sweeter to a dumpee than having the pleasure of rubbing in that you no longer give a **** about the dumper and have moved on with a new person.
Author Lizrd3000 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 (edited) OP- If she truly is Borderline, be GREATFUL that you got out. No one needs that nightmare. My last GF clearly suffered BPD to some level. Talk about mood instability, temper, anger, etc.. Be glad that she's "someone else's problem" and move on. If you feel like (guessing) she's truly stalking your Facebook, find a new girl and post some pics of your two together. Nothings sweeter to a dumpee than having the pleasure of rubbing in that you no longer give a **** about the dumper and have moved on with a new person. I've already moved on, there's no need to ''rub it into her face''. I care for her, there's no need to hurt her, her BPD is enough hurt.. isn't it?\ I know my previous post mentions wanting to hurt her by hoping she'd come back and refuse the offer, but really. I don't think that's good for anyone. Edited November 4, 2013 by Lizrd3000
greenfairie Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 She's just having a really hard letting go of you, obviously. Did you guys have a deep history together? It sounds like it if she cares that much to look at your profile. You were obviously someone special to her if she cares that much to look at your updates. If you guys just met and didn't have anything meaningful, then that would be borderline stalker. The fact you even know that she's looking at your **** tells me something too. You care about her do you or not? Just ignore her if you feel like it's right. Do what you feel is right. 1
Author Lizrd3000 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 (edited) She's just having a really hard letting go of you, obviously. Did you guys have a deep history together? It sounds like it if she cares that much to look at your profile. You were obviously someone special to her if she cares that much to look at your updates. If you guys just met and didn't have anything meaningful, then that would be borderline stalker. The fact you even know that she's looking at your **** tells me something too. You care about her do you or not? Just ignore her if you feel like it's right. Do what you feel is right. She's the person I care the most for in this world, after myself ofcourse. We dated nearly 6 months, but things moved along fast, I know her stuff.. she knows mine. Each others first in almost every aspect, except for kissing (for her, she was my first kiss). I do not want her back though. She has hurt me alot, but I still care for her. But that's not enough to get me back. Wish things didn't turn out like this, but everything happens for a reason. thanks for the responses guys. I noticed I'm still experiencing emotional rollercoasters, milder than before, but still am. Edited November 4, 2013 by Lizrd3000
maturityassets Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 lol everyone during a break up looks like they are BPD. Dumpers look like total narcissists, dumpees look like codependent sociopaths who need the dumper and over night go no.contact and pretend they are indifferent. The thing that my therapist told me that we all exhibit the specific personality traits but the true sufferer of BPD has a focus on one. In a break up emotions run high and we act rather strange. So don't be concern if she has a BPD, more likely she is an immature girl who has no idea what it means to be a "self" 1
Author Lizrd3000 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 lol everyone during a break up looks like they are BPD. Dumpers look like total narcissists, dumpees look like codependent sociopaths who need the dumper and over night go no.contact and pretend they are indifferent. The thing that my therapist told me that we all exhibit the specific personality traits but the true sufferer of BPD has a focus on one. In a break up emotions run high and we act rather strange. So don't be concern if she has a BPD, more likely she is an immature girl who has no idea what it means to be a "self" I walked on eggshells after 1 month of dating, I'm talking about the relationship here, not just the BU. Obviously everyone exhibits some traits of a personality disorder, I know what they are. She was a mental wreck though, BPD or not.
headinthecloud Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 OP- If you feel like (guessing) she's truly stalking your Facebook, find a new girl and post some pics of your two together. Nothings sweeter to a dumpee than having the pleasure of rubbing in that you no longer give a **** about the dumper and have moved on with a new person. :) Terrible advice. Do not do this! You are ultimately letting your ex drive your actions if you do this. Projecting the impression that you moved on does not make it a reality. Be yourself. It doesn't matter what she does anymore. Do not seek others to validate who you are. Just be yourself. Be happy, or try your best to be. 1
Author Lizrd3000 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 Terrible advice. Do not do this! You are ultimately letting your ex drive your actions if you do this. Projecting the impression that you moved on does not make it a reality. Be yourself. It doesn't matter what she does anymore. Do not seek others to validate who you are. Just be yourself. Be happy, or try your best to be. I wasn't intending to play such an immature game on her, I wont stoop that low. I know how much it can hurt, I don't want to inflict unnecesary pain. As I said, I've moved on quite a bit, I'm over her, the remaining depression just sucks, but I've dealt with it almost all my life, and this too shall pass, so I'm OK. Thanks for the responses though, but this thread has reached it's end. Thanks again! 1
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