Heartsdelight Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Seeing a man for 3 months. Recently learned I needed heart surgery. Want to continue to see this guy but I've been hit with this surgery and some other stuff. He's new of my condition before I learned about the surgery. It's not life threatening. Communication nor dating has been frequent in the last month. Told this man that we should stop seeing each other because of all this stuff and it's maybe uncomfortable for both of us. Said I really liked him and wished him well. He still seems interested, we met up, but again the communication is vague. Need some perspective if you came across this situation. If you started dating someone and learned about something serious like surgery, would that make you uncomfortable? When you start dating you are trying to get to know a person so it's a bit of an unnatural situation. I told this guy to please not feel imposed and that he doesn't need to feel obligated about anything. I just want to continue dating. But maybe subconsciously it's making him keep a certain distance. Or maybe he's not interested/casual because I sense something is not right. We communicate mostly when I initiate, he often responds quickly but doesn't reach out to me much. I'm aware most dating starts out casual, sort of. We haven't been to deep with our feelings.
MidwestUSA Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 I don't think it's him subconsciously keeping a distance, I think it's the fact that you TOLD him you should stop seeing each other! You can't have it both ways! If he's worth it, hang in there, keep the lines of communication open, and let him know how you're doing. It's right to make sure he doesn't feel imposed upon, but you took it a step further. He's simply abiding by your wishes. Let him know you're still interested, even if you have to initiate. Maybe he'll come around. It's hard to read someone's feelings regarding something as serious as heart surgery. Being in healthcare myself, I have a pretty rational and optimistic view of things. Others hear 'heart surgery' and assume the worst. You really can't expect much of him at this point. Keep it light and fun, and best of luck with your surgery!
Sonya_dos Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 I don't think it's him subconsciously keeping a distance, I think it's the fact that you TOLD him you should stop seeing each other! You can't have it both ways! If he's worth it, hang in there, keep the lines of communication open, and let him know how you're doing. It's right to make sure he doesn't feel imposed upon, but you took it a step further. He's simply abiding by your wishes. Let him know you're still interested, even if you have to initiate. Maybe he'll come around. It's hard to read someone's feelings regarding something as serious as heart surgery. Being in healthcare myself, I have a pretty rational and optimistic view of things. Others hear 'heart surgery' and assume the worst. You really can't expect much of him at this point. Keep it light and fun, and best of luck with your surgery! That's a good way of looking at things.
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