susanl Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 I give up, I am dating this wonderful guy over a year, (as you all may know) bought a house with him and his kids but am living about 30 min from him because of my son who is a senior in high school. Well he is on a business trip today and found out my son got accepted to his early decision in college --a top 10 school in the nation--needless to say I was excited. Called him he was happy but I understood couldn't talk. Talked to his daughter later because she called to give me her basketball schedule for the week and found out he was back in town and going to dinner with his kids and ex wife. Now before anyone says anything he is trying to be nice to her which I don't mind ----BUT I am so upset tonight--have a great guy back in town no contact didn't leave a message and takes kids and ex out to dinner ---now the other side is my daughter came home from college tonight so I had made a huge dinner and it ended up being celebration and coming home from college ---but---still it doesn't negate the idea he was back in town and didn't call. Why didn't he call and say hey back in town why don't you guys come up and have desert with us. why didn't he leave a message--ok was planning on spending the night up there tomorrow night like I always do on Wed but do I do we have dinner what????? Some one offer some constructive critisim please--positive or negative either way I am listening Thanks
alphamale Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 Originally posted by susanl Some one offer some constructive critisim please--positive or negative either way I am listening Thanks Dear Susan: His kids and their mother will always come first in his life no matter what. You should accept this fact and deal with it because you have chosen to be with a man who has kids. They will ALWAYS be in his life. If you cannot deal with this then you need to move on and find a man who has no kids and an ex that is not in the picture. The decision is yours and yours alone...
Pocky Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 Some people weren't taught that it's considerate to communicate your whereabouts to a loved one. Explain to him that you would appreciate a phone call to let you know that he is home safe so you don't worry about him while he's gone. If you've been dating him for a year, I'd have to say he didn't do this purposely, but just neglected to see why it would be an issue. Just let him know how it made you feel and I'm sure he won't do it again.
bebop Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 This will likely be of no help at all but I'll try it anyway. I'm a second wife. We were married for eighteen years. We began as friends and finished as friends, and now have a thirty-year steadfast friendship. We have a son together. My ex-husband has since married again, and he and I are in constant (open) contact. Our son has medical/health issues, the two of them are very close, and his father and I are close, as friends only. It's very much an issue for his present wife. Yet, we get around it. We've all been out together to eat many a time, etc. She has trouble with it, my ex and I do not. She tolerates it. She has nothing to worry about, but it troubles her. I could feel crummy about this, but I don't. They're safe, she's safe, and no number of words can make it so for her. We've both said it to her many a time. We share a son, and that's just an immutable fact.
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