OCFlorida Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Hi everyone, This is my first time posting anywhere online in regards to any relationship advice, in hopes to gain some clarity and some answers. I've written my story and dilemma below. I've also included some info about ourselves. Her: 19 (Since Jan.) American Me: 18 (Since Aug.) French It all started last April, we met in the most inopportune place shortly after both having been out of long and negative relationships. It was love at first sight... we didn't speak much that night because we were surrounded by other people yet we exchanged numbers and starting messaging each other. About a week later, we had our first real date. I took her out to dinner and then we went and sat down on a hill that overlooked the city. Our date was superb, apart from one obstacle. She was 19 and I was 17. This made for quite an age gap and she saw it as being a potential barrier. Keep in mind, I'm nowhere near your typical 17-18 year old. I don't drink (nearly ever) I'm work driven (I created my own 2 companies online), and I'm far more serious than a lot of people who are in their mid 20s. I've got my goals in sight, and am well on my way to achieve them. Anyway, after other dates and long discussions, she realized that age was simply a number and that it didn't matter. Fast forward to a few months later, our relationship is flourishing, she fell in love with me and I fell in love with her. Our relationship was truly thriving, we always had fun together, we never had an awkward moment. Unfortunately, in the beginning of June I began attending a university that was 2 hours away from home. Despite the distance, we were still doing well although I was very unhappy being away from her and therefore spent every weekend back in town with her. Our relationship continued to flourish throughout Summer despite the usual Ups and Downs, until one day something happened. My previous relationship with me getting cheated on more than once and being foolish enough to overlook the signs. Anyway, what happened was that she received a message from an old friend that began flirting with her via online messages. This obviously bothered me because he did it knowing she was dating me. Anyway this person ended up moving back to our town a week after I had returned to my university to begin my fall term in August. Despite the once again distance, I continued to do everything for her, and by everything, I truly do mean everything. We went to the Melting Pot for dinner multiple times, I was there by her side through the ups and downs. Every person around me would remark that I treated her impeccably. Our sex life flourished as well and we never ran into any discontent or issues. We truly had the perfect life, and not only did others, but we also saw a long future with each other with a possible marriage at the end. Unfortunately, last weekend reared it's ugly head and began destroyed everything. That Friday one of her animals passed away around midnight and I was by her side at midnight to bury him for her so that she could make peace with him being gone to the other side. That Sunday we had an argument that was solved quickly after talking it through and deciding to have better communication throughout our relationship, and I was more than understanding given what had happened and the fact that she was so attached to her pet. After that weekend everything, and I do mean everything seemed to be fine in our relationship. She acted no differently, and spoke no differently. Last Wednesday (4 days ago) (pardon the details... she began her period) she posted a picture of herself seeing the aforementioned flirtatious kid which I openly told her bothered me a bit since I was quite far away. As soon as that night ended, she became incredibly distant and began acting as if I had completely lost all my feelings for her. She even asked me if I still loved her. It was honestly tough trying to contain tears and emotions when asked such a question after having done everything in my power to make her happy. Due to the distant behavior and lack of love, and for business related matters, I drove back home this weekend to speak with her. On Thursday evening, when I arrived she told me that it really hurt her that I was bothered by her seeing the aforementioned guy. And she said how much she needed someone there (Although never mentioning to me that it bothered her and overlooking the fact I was there for her). Despite our tough discussion, we talked it out once again and she agreed that we both needed to be more open about our bothers and about our relationship in general. Her friend that she never sees was visiting from college so we decided we would take a small break just for the weekend so that she could spend time with her. I went out to the beach with some friends on Friday night and then went to the store for groceries (which happened to be near her house), and I saw her favorite flowers there so I thought, well I love her more than anything so why not pick them up and leave them on her car so that she knows I'm still thinking about her. Despite not speaking to each other at all on Friday she was barely even acknowledging the flowers or the general thought I had for her. Saturday was the same deal, we spoke once the entire day so I asked her if we could talk again because despite the break it really seemed like she was unhappy. Anyway, Saturday came around, and I went to talk to her, she was still at her friend's house so I picked her up and we drove around for 5 minutes, we spoke and I told her that she seemed unhappy and to be out of our relationship emotionally... I asked her if a break-up would be what she wanted, and she said that despite loving me dearly we had different mind-sets and it would be for the better, I dropped her back off and went my way. What I don't understand is this, our mind-sets were literally identical. All of the people around us told us how we always agreed on everything and how out of anyone, the two of us were the ones with the most similar goals and mindsets. About 30 minutes after the break up, she proceeded to delete every possible memory of me ever being a part of her life (FB-Instagram-Twitter etc). I messaged her soon after to see if I could pick my things up from her house, and she completely turned on me. She spoke to me like I had cheated on her and done horrible things to her. She was so rude and defensive and I had never seen a side of her like that... throughout the 6 months together. Today, Sunday, she left my things on her front porch in a bag with a text saying she was spending the last day with her friend before she returned to school and that she just couldn't see me and she was very sorry. Here are my questions... Why would she change in 4 days? Why would she become so defensive and instigating? Could it be caused by the death of her pet and or her combined mother nature happenings? Is she going through a possible phase? What should I do to attempt to get her back? I honestly can't see myself living my life without her, I've fallen so far in love with her that I honestly am willing to do whatever it takes to hopefully recover a chance with her in the future. Any and all advice is hugely appreciated because I am having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks, O.
Author OCFlorida Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 One last thing I should add. I treated her like an absolute princess and did everything to go out of my way to make her smile. I took her out to dinner, I brought her her favorite foods when she was sick, I was by her side all the time. If she needed me for whatever reason, I'd be there to comfort her. I was there through her mother's post cancer surgery and had to leave my university at 5am so that I could drive her and her mother to the hospital for the surgery. I took her on romantic dates, I let her be with her friends when she needed/wanted to be.
Author OCFlorida Posted November 5, 2013 Author Posted November 5, 2013 Any ideas of what it could be? I did research and found GIGS to be the most likely explanation. Advice appreciated nonetheless! Thanks, O.
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