jaguar Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 I have not had sex, this is just a question. Let's say I meet some girl. I get to the sex stage and I blurt out that it is my first (of course I have to, I have no choice). If I was not able to get it up that night, would she still continue to be with me? Or is that a turnoff?
nescafe1982 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 I dated a guy who was a virgin a few years back. He didn't tell me ours was his first time until months later. I was a little upset about it; I would have liked to have known so as to make the moment more, you know, "special." I think it's good to tell the other party before (not after or when you're already set to hook up). As for the other thing, I would not be upset at this happening if it occurred once... we all get nerves! What would matter more to me is whether the guy handles the frustration well: if he keeps his cool, fine, but if he gets angry, lashes out, or breaks down over it, that would be more concerning to me.
Author jaguar Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 I dated a guy who was a virgin a few years back. He didn't tell me ours was his first time until months later. I was a little upset about it; I would have liked to have known so as to make the moment more, you know, "special." I think it's good to tell the other party before (not after or when you're already set to hook up). As for the other thing, I would not be upset at this happening if it occurred once... we all get nerves! What would matter more to me is whether the guy handles the frustration well: if he keeps his cool, fine, but if he gets angry, lashes out, or breaks down over it, that would be more concerning to me. OK. Reason why I am asking is I have tried with one or two prostitutes and it didn't work. I am fairly sure it isn't a physical problem since I can get it up at other times. I just want to try it once with a girlfriend before deciding what to do next. But the first time is going to be absolutely tense so I can expect that it may not work. That is why I asked.
CarrieT Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 When I was 18, I met this guy and it got to the sex stage. Our first time having sex was pretty amazing - anal and the whole bit (anal was new to me). Four hours of sex. After, when we were taking as shower together to clean up, he told me that was his first time. Blew me out of the water with the news. No reason to divulge if you feel confident. You can tell her after.
devilish innocent Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 If she likes you for an actual relationship, she'd give you more chances. If she's just looking for a casual hook-up or a friends with benefits situation, then she'd lose interest. But a girl who wants more from you won't give up just because of that. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Your status as a virgin shouldn't be a huge turn off but it could be depending on your age. I met some guy through an internet dating site. We met & he was socially inappropriate. He wasn't reading my discomfort & lack of interest but everybody else in the restaurant was. Seriously the my waitress & the next table asked if I wanted help getting away from him. Anyway. . . by the time this 50 year old man told me that he was hoping to consummate his marriage, lose his virginity & impregnate his wife in the same act, I was ready to run screaming. If you are stressed & unable to perform when you get to the act itself, you are probably too stressed. You need to find yourself in a more nurturing environment & make it about love rather than sex.
crederer Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Your status as a virgin shouldn't be a huge turn off but it could be depending on your age. I met some guy through an internet dating site. We met & he was socially inappropriate. He wasn't reading my discomfort & lack of interest but everybody else in the restaurant was. Seriously the my waitress & the next table asked if I wanted help getting away from him. Anyway. . . by the time this 50 year old man told me that he was hoping to consummate his marriage, lose his virginity & impregnate his wife in the same act, I was ready to run screaming. If you are stressed & unable to perform when you get to the act itself, you are probably too stressed. You need to find yourself in a more nurturing environment & make it about love rather than sex. At least you got a good story out of it. That's probably one of the funnier dating stories I've heard. But for the OP, if you're in a relationship with her, I'd just be completely honest. "look I'm a virgin and really nervous about this, I hope you're okay with that" and if she's the right girl for you, she will be okay with it. 1
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