desperategirl Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Hey all! Met a guy a while ago, he asked me out on a date, he asked where I lived, then chose a bar near there. He asked me out on a second date, where he planned everything (dinner at a specific restaurant based on something I'd said, plus theatre) then I went over to his for the third, where we hung out and cooked. He went on holiday, then messaged me the night he got back. We went out again, but didn't really have plans, just met up and ended up having some drinks in a weird bar. We went home (sepearately) earlyish. He mentioned that he thought I would've planned something. He invited me to go to his the next day, then said I should text him and let him know teh plan, as this is 'the age of equality." The next day I messaged him, and he called me, we spoke a bit, then he said he was busy with loads of DIY to do, and could we raincheck? He said he hadn't seen my place. I asked if he wanted to, he said yes, and when i asked when, he said any day next week. He told me to check my diary and let him know. We chatted a bit longer, then got off the phone. Would you recommend i invite him over, or does it sound like a gentle blow off? Would he have cancelled if he really liked me? Really would appreciate advice on this one, thanks in advance!
orchids Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 The next day I messaged him, and he called me, we spoke a bit, then he said he was busy with loads of DIY to do, and could we raincheck? He said he hadn't seen my place. I asked if he wanted to, he said yes, and when i asked when, he said any day next week. He told me to check my diary and let him know. He sounds genuinely busy, although I'm always suspicious of anyone wanting to "see my place". I'm generally more reserved, so I'd rather meet him outside - but in this case your guy seems to have been quite specific on going to yours. So, imho, invite him over if you're comfortable with having him over. And as to your second question, everyone has canceled even if they liked someone. If he likes you he'll offer an alternative date, and he did!
Author desperategirl Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 He sounds genuinely busy, although I'm always suspicious of anyone wanting to "see my place". I'm generally more reserved, so I'd rather meet him outside - but in this case your guy seems to have been quite specific on going to yours. So, imho, invite him over if you're comfortable with having him over. And as to your second question, everyone has canceled even if they liked someone. If he likes you he'll offer an alternative date, and he did! Thanks so much for your answer! He wanted to see my place because I've already seen his. Just a question - why are you suspicious of people wanting to see your place? Because you assume it's just about them wanting to have sex? We already slept together on the third date. This will be the fifth date. Really appreciate your insight on him suggesting alternate plans. Thank you!
Lansing Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Well, if he wants to see YOUR place, that is another venue for you two to have sex. If you guys are at someone's place than there is a greater chance for him to have sex with you! If you want to have sex with him then go for it. But, if you want to develop a relationship where it isn't about just going over to each others places to have sex then you might want to suggest another venue and see if he sticks around. 1
orchids Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Just a question - why are you suspicious of people wanting to see your place? Because you assume it's just about them wanting to have sex? We already slept together on the third date. This will be the fifth date. ....... Well that clears things up, he isn't in this just for the sex (I'm guessing). And yeah, I find it a flimsy excuse! But that's my problem and shouldn't be yours, since the question of sex for you is already over and done with. Mind you, his reason for canceling might not be true, but I've canceled on people with half-truths myself. I'm sure you have, just think of it along the same lines and you'll see why it's no biggie 1
soccerrprp Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Some guys get tired of making all the plans and want the lady to show interest by making some plans. I've dated some women who plan dates and I loved it. Guys really love that. I'm dating a woman who plans for us a lot and it's awesome. I don't necessarily think he's blowing you off, but I'm also a little uncomfortable about you inviting him to your place. Plan the next date, but tell him you'd rather wait to invite him to your place. See what happens. 1
Author desperategirl Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Some guys get tired of making all the plans and want the lady to show interest by making some plans. I've dated some women who plan dates and I loved it. Guys really love that. I'm dating a woman who plans for us a lot and it's awesome. I don't necessarily think he's blowing you off, but I'm also a little uncomfortable about you inviting him to your place. Plan the next date, but tell him you'd rather wait to invite him to your place. See what happens. That;s interesting - I was wondering if he maybe wanted me to make some plans, after the effort he went to organizing stuff. It's so hard to tell if someone is blowing you off sometimes, and I have started to assume that guys usually are. Thanks for your perspective!
Author desperategirl Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 ....... Well that clears things up, he isn't in this just for the sex (I'm guessing). And yeah, I find it a flimsy excuse! But that's my problem and shouldn't be yours, since the question of sex for you is already over and done with. Mind you, his reason for canceling might not be true, but I've canceled on people with half-truths myself. I'm sure you have, just think of it along the same lines and you'll see why it's no biggie I actually don't think I've ever cancelled a date! Have you ever cancelled a date with someone you liked?
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