bigred0489 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Might be a little lengthy, so I'll do this first: TL;DR - Girl out of my league agreed to meet for a drink after (a kind of) one night stand. I'm feeling unbelievably Nervous/anxious/excited! Full story now! I was at a party on Friday, wasn't going to go but glad I did now! Halloween party organised by an old friend from School (I'm 24). I'm the only single guy out of my group of mates, plenty of stunning girls here. The host out of the blue starts asking if anyone catches my eye, suggests her friend and starts trying to "sell it" going on about how nice she is, how cute etc. I go to the bathroom and come out to be faced with Host telling me it's "all go" with the friend, all my mates are grinning from ear to ear in the other room. I get a little awkward, never know what to say. Previous girlfriends have all been really pretty, no idea how I get them...! Anyway, we chat, she really is as pretty and nice as the host made her out to be. Turns out she had asked the host who I was because she liked the look of me! Get drunk, go out clubbing after the party with all these people, me and her get some drinks and spend the night sitting away from the rest of them/dancing. End up going back to her place, she makes it clear that there will be no sex, which I am fine with and not at all the kind of guy to push/pressure (hell, I'm just amazed at the fact that I'm there with her...!). I stay the night and get woken up at half 7 with her cuddling in to me. I've had one night stands and it's usually awkward as ****, not this time. We kiss, cuddle and eventually and significantly more sober than the night before, sleep together. This happens a few times before we part. Exchange numbers and I panic. "Do I text? Do I wait? What do I do...?" Man up and get in touch, she replies!!! This goes on for the rest of the day and I pluck up the courage to ask her to meet again. I expect an excuse or a polite refusal, but no, we're going for drinks in a couple of days and she seemed pretty excited! I need to point out that I am awful in these situations, I'm the nice guy, well educated (MSc in Law) with a good job. I keep telling myself that maybe she's only being polite, or some other BS. I really like this girl and I hope the feeling is mutual. I don't know what I'm getting at here, I just need to get this all out! If any of you have been the average guy with the gorgeous girl, how did you keep her interest? Any girls admit to being the better looking partner want to share what it is that they like? Is it true that personality really is more important? She had said that I'm a really nice guy, Im sure she knows that I'm interested....
Lansing Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Don't think in terms of "leagues"... If you start thinking like that you are going to destroy your confidence. She wants someone to LEAD and be a man. I came across a podcast recently that I am really enjoying. The guy recently did one on "leagues" . Instead of copying what he said here, worth a listen! SLW 0053: Stop Thinking You?re Out of Her League 1
d0nnivain Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Her being out of your league is all in your head. She liked you well enough to go home with you & to go out with you again. Just be your best self: polite, attentive & kind. It will be fine. 2
StanMusial Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Might be a little lengthy, so I'll do this first: TL;DR - Girl out of my league agreed to meet for a drink after (a kind of) one night stand. I'm feeling unbelievably Nervous/anxious/excited! Full story now! I was at a party on Friday, wasn't going to go but glad I did now! Halloween party organised by an old friend from School (I'm 24). I'm the only single guy out of my group of mates, plenty of stunning girls here. The host out of the blue starts asking if anyone catches my eye, suggests her friend and starts trying to "sell it" going on about how nice she is, how cute etc. I go to the bathroom and come out to be faced with Host telling me it's "all go" with the friend, all my mates are grinning from ear to ear in the other room. I get a little awkward, never know what to say. Previous girlfriends have all been really pretty, no idea how I get them...! Anyway, we chat, she really is as pretty and nice as the host made her out to be. Turns out she had asked the host who I was because she liked the look of me! Get drunk, go out clubbing after the party with all these people, me and her get some drinks and spend the night sitting away from the rest of them/dancing. End up going back to her place, she makes it clear that there will be no sex, which I am fine with and not at all the kind of guy to push/pressure (hell, I'm just amazed at the fact that I'm there with her...!). I stay the night and get woken up at half 7 with her cuddling in to me. I've had one night stands and it's usually awkward as ****, not this time. We kiss, cuddle and eventually and significantly more sober than the night before, sleep together. This happens a few times before we part. Exchange numbers and I panic. "Do I text? Do I wait? What do I do...?" Man up and get in touch, she replies!!! This goes on for the rest of the day and I pluck up the courage to ask her to meet again. I expect an excuse or a polite refusal, but no, we're going for drinks in a couple of days and she seemed pretty excited! I need to point out that I am awful in these situations, I'm the nice guy, well educated (MSc in Law) with a good job. I keep telling myself that maybe she's only being polite, or some other BS. I really like this girl and I hope the feeling is mutual. I don't know what I'm getting at here, I just need to get this all out! If any of you have been the average guy with the gorgeous girl, how did you keep her interest? Any girls admit to being the better looking partner want to share what it is that they like? Is it true that personality really is more important? She had said that I'm a really nice guy, Im sure she knows that I'm interested.... Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while. Just relax and try to have fun, if you make a huge deal over it you're going to ruin everything. I've dated girls of all types, I didn't treat any of them any different based on how pretty they were. 2
Woggle Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Who cares about leagues. If she is interested go for it. 2
soccerrprp Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Yeah, forget about her being out of your league. That's insecurity speaking and that will manifest into something that she'll notice and you fumble over. I still don't see how she's out of your league, but be ready to put on your best face and do it with confidence and gratefulness... 1
FitChick Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Try to find out her relationship history. Maybe she is only good for a few shags and not looking for anything serious. I don't see that she is out of your league if she is willing to have sex with a stranger the first night. Sounds like a bit of a slapper if she makes a habit of this. 2
Author bigred0489 Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Try to find out her relationship history. Maybe she is only good for a few shags and not looking for anything serious. I don't see that she is out of your league if she is willing to have sex with a stranger the first night. Sounds like a bit of a slapper if she makes a habit of this. I see where you're coming from. We actually spoke about it, albeit briefly. She's a relationship kind of person, and she made it clear when we went home that sex wasn't on the cards. She asked if I often went home with girls after nights out which I replied saying occasionally, it's not something that I do often (I could count on one hand the number of times, and two of those resulted in long term relationships). I think it was the morning after, we had been chatting and I think (hope) she felt comfortable enough with me and that's when it progressed. I certainly don't think she's the slapper sort though.
Author bigred0489 Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Don't think in terms of "leagues"... If you start thinking like that you are going to destroy your confidence. She wants someone to LEAD and be a man. I came across a podcast recently that I am really enjoying. The guy recently did one on "leagues" . Instead of copying what he said here, worth a listen! SLW 0053: Stop Thinking You?re Out of Her League Thanks for the link! I'll give it a listen tonight!
Author bigred0489 Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Her being out of your league is all in your head. She liked you well enough to go home with you & to go out with you again. Just be your best self: polite, attentive & kind. It will be fine. Thanks...! It's been a while since I've played the dating game and I tend to over-think these things. We've been in touch pretty much constantly since we last spoke. Guess I need to think positive, see what Wednesday brings and take it from there.
bumpyroad Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 The leagues stuff is largely just in people's heads, it's been said to me before and I don't really relate to it; you either connect with somebody or you don't... Also, women are more cerebral, and men are more carnal, women are more turned on by intelligence or wit, men by pretty faces or big boobies, or whatever the case may be. OP, don't overthink the leagues stuff, honestly it's a waste of energy. If she likes you, she likes you.
bumpyroad Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 I certainly don't think she's the slapper sort though. Dont put the pussy on a pedestal........its just another woman. :laugh:
crederer Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 I thought similarly to this before. That girl ended up being my girlfriend for a year and a half. Then we broke up and I was pretty devastated but it was a good year and a half.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Just be absolutely yourself and treat her no differently. 1
Shepp Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 This kind of reminds me of this thread. It might be good for you to read it. This is the damage thinking someone is out of your league can do.
bumpyroad Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Just be absolutely yourself and treat her no differently. Yep, nail on head. For a relationship to work, you have to be equals. If one of you is on a pedestal, it can be pressure that's hard to live up to, you could be afraid to be yourself for fear of shattering their perfect image of you.
Author bigred0489 Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 This kind of reminds me of this thread. It might be good for you to read it. This is the damage thinking someone is out of your league can do. That was actually pretty interesting, rarely, if ever do you see it coming from the other point of view! Yep, nail on head. For a relationship to work, you have to be equals. If one of you is on a pedestal, it can be pressure that's hard to live up to, you could be afraid to be yourself for fear of shattering their perfect image of you. Dont put the pussy on a pedestal........its just another woman. I don't *think* I'm putting her on a pedestal. Maybe I am though, what with thinking of "leagues" and such. I tend to over analyse and worry that I'm not up to the par they're looking for. Is this an actual date? Is she interested? Should I tell her that I like her? These are the thoughts that tend to run through my head! I haven't dated in a while, decided after my last relationship ended to take some time "off" and that was 7+ months ago, it's been about 6 years since I actually dated or went through this "process". Thanks for the advice so far guys, appreciate it all!
Author bigred0489 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 If you are not up to par they wont go out with you in the first place. She did so shut up and enjoy it....... QUIT thinking so much! This is true! I'm really looking forward to it, I hope she is too! We were texting last night, having a bit of a laugh. She was saying that she was still suffering a little after Friday night and I laughed about it, saying that she might not even know what I look like if she was that drunk, her response was along the lines of "Good point, but I was sober on Saturday...! ;)". She said that maybe she looks nothing like I remember, to which I replied with "well if I walk in and do a u-turn, I'm sorry". She laughed it off and said that she was looking forward to a couple of cocktails! This went on into the night and the messages stopped after i assume she fell asleep, so I haven't heard from her today. I need to get in touch to arrange a time for meeting on wednesday so that gives me an excuse to get in touch again before meeting her. (If she doesn't get in touch first that is...). I didn't actually call it a date, I asked her if she wanted to get together soon, she replied saying yes, suggesting a few drinks on Wednesday evening. I'm taking this as a date, do you think she is...?
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 She was saying that she was still suffering a little after Friday night and I laughed about it, saying that she might not even know what I look like if she was that drunk, her response was along the lines of "Good point, but I was sober on Saturday...! ;)". She said that maybe she looks nothing like I remember, to which I replied with "well if I walk in and do a u-turn, I'm sorry". smooth I didn't actually call it a date, I asked her if she wanted to get together soon, she replied saying yes, suggesting a few drinks on Wednesday evening. I'm taking this as a date, do you think she is...?Your friends set you up with her, she had sex with you, you flirt back and forth via text, you're going out for "a few" drinks meaning you guys are going to get a strong buzz on.... do you really need to ask if it's a date?
Kate9292 Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Just treat her well and make her feel sexy around you. Even if she's out of your league, she will appreciate that.
Author bigred0489 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 smooth Your friends set you up with her, she had sex with you, you flirt back and forth via text, you're going out for "a few" drinks meaning you guys are going to get a strong buzz on.... do you really need to ask if it's a date? I know, again with the over thinking! I think this is the first time in a long time that I actually like where things might be going. I normally know early on if I'm interested and plan on pursuing. The conversation normally filters off until theer's no communication and I'm usually happy enough about it. This time, I actually want things to progress which is probably why I'm reading into every little detail. She's been in touch today at least, albeit a response to a message from late last night, but I didn't want to harass her today and had decided to wait to hear from her. If a girl is NOT interested (girls advice appreciated here!), do they let you know? Or disappear/stop communication? I know the date should be an indication of how things are going, as with the her opening up the following morning and actually initiating the intimate side of things... haha, what was I saying about over-analysing...?
mitchell Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 How was the sex? Did you go down on her and make sure she was satisfied? Did she seem aloof or was she into you? If you gave her a few nice orgasms, she will be coming back for more.
Author bigred0489 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 How was the sex? Did you go down on her and make sure she was satisfied? Did she seem aloof or was she into you? If you gave her a few nice orgasms, she will be coming back for more. I would have to say it was amazing for both parties! I "held off" a couple of times, if you catch my drift, so that she could get her rocks off at least a few times. She wasn't aloof as far as I could tell. She initiated everything, there was no way I was going to try anything based on the fact that she had initially said it was off the cards. It was also quite passionate, not just rampant banging.
Charlie Harper Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 First don't overthink everything, just decide what you want: a) a super cute booty call? b) a relationship? If you are going for a relationship, first and foremost be YOURSELF, don't be nervous because probably she will also, so try to keep a friendly and fun atmosphere, LISTEN to her and let her guide the conversation, if she ask you about yourself, be confident, and ask her for advice on matters that concern to both.... example, let say you are worried about some laws that will be passed and you have problems with, ask for her opinion..etc How do you feel when a woman ask for your opinion on a baseball or football team? .... Never underestimate the power of attraction and confidence, when you see a regular or even ugly guy with a stunning woman, most of the time is because of that... Good luck!
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