BBB08 Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 I dont know but this is messed up. But me and my ex have been broken up for 8 months and we kind of ended it mutually, but mostlly due to the fact that it got to serious and we were both afraid of I guess "falling for each other". Well we have each other on MSN messenger and the thing is that she's always on it, like sets her herself to away messeages, but no I hate signing it because it feels like she's spying on me and vice versa. Kind of like we both get our satisfaction of seeing each other online.Kind of a comfort thing. We go through periods (she contacts me all the time) and she talks for like a week or 2 straight, then she won't talk for 1 week or 2 then she'll start again. It reminds me of the movie FIGHT CLUB when they argue who get's what days for the conselling sessions. I know some of you will say it's easy, just block her. And I've done that for a couple of days. But she knows that I'm online just as much as her, and if she doesnt see me she'll know i blocked her. I know it seems like we are playing a game. But any suggestions out there.
Weird Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 haha you arent messed up. what you guys are doing is a common thing. I say you don't do anything or you just delete her from your contact list...or get another IM program and use it to talk to your other peeps.
alphamale Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 why are both of you spying on each other if you've been broken up for 8 months? that makes no sense
qismat Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 omg i can totally relate to this!! I have been broken up from my ex for about 7 months now, and we are both on msn pretty much every day. so yeah its the same thing, in a weird way its like i get my satisfaction of sort of knowing what he's up to. and we'll go through periods where we talk for a while, and then suddenly don't at all. i would just delete him.. but than i would add him back :S haha its just like a conditioned habbit to see him there (i know its been way too long). and i can't block him b/c of the same reason - we are both always on, so if i block him, he'd know. and we didn't have a bad break up, we kind of just went our seperate ways. it was mutual (sort of). anyway, i haven't talked to him for a while... and as far as suggestions? just try to go online less for a while. i just stopped using it for a while, and am finally kicking the habbit haha and i don't care as much as i did before. i'm so glad that someone else asked that question! now even though i know its still weird(messed)... i feel like it is less so =) just b/c someone else can relate
moon Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 BLOCK HER. It is the only way you'll get peace of mind. Do you really think she'll worry so much if she sees you online or not many months after a break up? Block her. If she asks you why you aren't online anymore tell her you were out, hum, having a life. Maybe that'll be a real shocker to her. By the way, I never use MSN really. Sometimes I go on, but my ex never really does. I was sort of wondering what I should do about it too. I wanted to block him, but I didn't know if he'd be able to know or not. He wouldn't know if I blocked him or not, right? Anyway, I cured this by not using MSN anymore. My ex doesn't even have internet access........he lives in the Stone Age---so it doesn't really matter.
ConfusedInOC Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 Why people break up because they're getting "too close" is beyond me. Getting closer is a result of a good, healthy relationship. Now if you're young and worried about it, I still don't see why continuing to date is a bad thing. If you grow apart, fine. True love is such a rare thing I could never see throwing it away so easily.
GreenCap Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 Confused I have to agree with you on this. Unless of course there are other underlying issues that weren't discussed. I finally deleted my ex of MSN. That is the way to go. I read on past postings that each party is playing games with their exes but really, by going online and then blocking to check up on them; we actually are playing mind games with ourselves. In my case, I felt miserable and lonely and wanted to check whether she would be home alone like me surfing the net vs. partying out in town. So, best is to delete entirely and get on with life. Other threads keep saying that maintain NC with exes and sooner or later they will come back. My ex told me last night that she found "the one" will marry him and even relocate to his city and give up her cushy job because it is worth it to be him. You want to talk messed up - I have been with her for three years, living together for two and this guy she only knew no more than 3 months. If you find something worth keeping, better act fast coz the good ones get snapped up!
XNemesisX Posted December 16, 2004 Posted December 16, 2004 Ditto Moon. My ex lives in the stone age too and doesn't even have internet. He probably wouldn't even know how to use instant messenger LOL. Glad I don't have to see away messages. It would be easier to maintain contact and know what they are doing to have instant messenger, so I'm glad that is at least one thing less to think about or have to look at. I'm also confused at why you two would break up just to keep from falling for each other too much. That doesn't make any sense. Who was the one to suggest this break up? I do know a friend who used this EXCUSE to break up with someone. It just seems like a lie to me. There is no better feeling than feeling like you are in love, and that it is reciprocated. WHY on earth would anyone want to break up over THAT?!
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