rburns629 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Me (25) and my girlfriend (21) of 6 months had been fighting a lot for a while, and we both have our fair share of issues like everyone. But recently it has been very good. 6 days ago we had a little fight, nothing big. That night we were supposed to go out, but because of the fight she said that she didn't want to hang out, but she would be willing to see me if we did homework together. I agreed and was okay with that at the time because I didn't want to fight with her. But 4 days ago she did it again when I asked if she wanted to come over to watch a movie. She said I don't want to see that movie. But she was willing to come over to help me with homework. I asked her "do you not want to hang out anymore for just hanging out?" she said "I don't know". I gave a long response about how if she is unsure of things she needs to think about the relationship because I didn't want her to feel like seeing me was starting to become a chore. Keep in mind, we see each other a lot and talked everyday at that point. She got mad and wouldn't talk to me. Later that night she kept saying it was over multiple times, and even said "I am done with you, but if you wanna stay you can" and long story short, I was about to change my statuses to single, and she said stop none of it was official. I tell her to decide what she wants by the time I wake up. Next day, same thing happens. We fought in the morning and she said that she would stay if I changed immediately. She is referring to how I question her when she says shady **** to me. So I asked if she really meant that, and the fight started again. She said there was nothing wrong in saying "I am done with you but you can stay with me if you want" so I said don't talk to me for the day. Later that afternoon I asked her to come out so we could talk things out, she agreed. We were talking and she got defensive and said "you're the one who didn't want to talk to me, then you ask me to come out to talk like a little lost puppy" I got super pissed and she just walked off saying that she never insulted me by saying that. She keeps justifying the screwed up **** she says. Later that night I was making it official that it was over, she called me, we both were crying. Once we hung up she said "we need to set rules and guidelines for this relationship. Take it or leave it" and changed her mind again. I asked why is she doing this, and she said "because I can". I agreed for the time being but now she is ignoring me and says she needs time. It has been two days since I have talked to her and she has been going out having a blast with her friends. I text her this morning and told her if we don't sort this stuff out within the next few days I am moving on because I don't know if I should grieve for her, or be happy and it is destroying me. So she agreed to talk to me tonight. My question is should I stay or go? I feel like something shady is going on here. I love this girl and all, but even so I know I need to take care of myself
Eivuwan Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 She seems really immature. It doesn't seem like you guys are able to resolve arguments in a proper manner and it seems that you have tried to talk this over several times with no results. The question is how long are you willing to put up with this? She's not going to change because you just keep putting up with it. She said that she's doing this "because she can."
lovenotwar Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 I think you have a great attitude about this. You're absolutely right that you need to do the best thing for you. It sounds like your girlfriend needs to get her stuff together. It's also possible that you haven't been treating her as well as she deserves; this is an unfortunate reality of "fights." Your decision should be based on an honest, no-nonsense determination of how important she is to you. Is she worth it? Have the good times left enough currency in the bank to forgive the crap she's giving you? If so, you need to talk to her. However, you really need to stop the fights, even if it means being the bigger man, and taking hurtful crap. In the long run, it is absolutely inexcusable for her to do anything other than treat you respectfully 100% of the time; that "puppy" remark is sheer crap. But you should work at a different approach, and find non-confrontational ways to let her know when she's hurting you. This sucks somewhat to say, but it's also possible she isn't that into you anymore, but is sort of afraid to be alone. She might want to 'trade up' by holding onto you until someone better comes along. The fact she's been leaving the relationship status in doubt is a warning sign here. The only way to tell here is to just talk to her, and try to get a feel for if she's still truly interested in you. If you start to get the strong impression that she isn't, challenge her; and if she doesn't satisfy you, end it.
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