krazykoko10 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Im a 26 yrs old woman and my bf is 31. We've been together for 6 months and we truly love each other and our families get along and support us. My bf was everything I wanted in a guy and I believed he was the one. Recently my mother passed and he has been stressed trying finish his masters and find a new job. He wants us not to worry about money and to be happy. He made it possible for me to see my mother b4 she died because he didnt want me to regret it. Anywho, we both have been stressed and he hasn't been supportive of my feelings and hasnt asked how ive been doing, when it comes to my mother. Meanwhile Im super supportive trying to keep him focused on school and happy. This passed weekend, I feel, was one of those nail in the coffin types. His ex, who he hasnt dated in over a year, recently started working at my job, small town, and I could careless. I actually thought we were cool but I thought wrong. I was having a private convo which involved whispering cause a friend was upset and we're both private people. After I left I get a txt from my guy telling me his ex said I was talking crap and she wanted to fight...lol like how old are we? I told my bf I wasnt and asked why was she even txting him. He gets mad at me and says he doesnt need the drama and im thinking whose side are you on? He said im on no ones side. I promised on my dead mothers grave to him that I wasnt starting crap with his ex. Keep in mind my mom just died a month ago and I just had my birthday. Im very saddened by this and I want to call it off because wheres the trust, loyalty and respect for me. I do everything to please him and he takes her side...I love him but hes stubborn, and I cant help to think he doesnt have my back. Hes never been in great relationships and would hate to lose me but I dont care about his feelings right now,. Its been two days and he hasnt or thinks he should apologize. I care about what I'm going through. Should I leave or forgive him since hes stressed?
lovenotwar Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 If this is a one-time thing, or at least, not usual, I'd say let it go. If it's a trend, you definitely need to let him know that this is a deal-breaker, and he must fix it. In any case, it's important that he really understands how you feel, and how you see this as a violation of trust. I'd suggest finding another way to bring it up to him, in a way that is non-confrontational. Make sure that you don't insist on 'winning' or getting him to admit something; just make it your priority to explain to him why it hurts you. There's two sides to everything; as a peace gesture, you might also want to see if there's something you can do to put his mind at ease about working with his ex.
d0nnivain Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 After my mother died my emotions were all over the place & I took everything to heart. That said, your BF's behavior isn't ideal. Some men don't know how to deal with all the emotions death of a loved one brings up. I'm still in mourning & my husband is bewildered. I hate women like your BFs EX. They are narcissistic drama queens & I avoid them like the plague. I don't need the garbage that goes along with somebody threatening to start a fight over stuff that doesn't even involve her. It's one of the places I draw hard lines in my life. If this was me, I would have practically screamed "I wasn't talking about her. I'm very annoyed that she a). came to that unfounded conclusion and b). texted you threatening me with violence. Your statement that you aren't going 'to take sides' after your B !tch EX threatened me is unacceptable. By not at least sticking up for me, you are in fact saying she's more important to you than I am. If that is the case, fine she can have you. If that's not what you meant, apologize & stop talking to her. If she contacts you again, stick up for me unconditionally or I'm outta here."
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