Sasa123 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 I need advices with common sense!! Long story short: Break up was in March, NC all summer - I was unbeliable sad, but made it through, mostly because I moved back to my hometown, far away from him. As for now, I've been moving back to the very same city as him to study. When he found out he wrote me. We saw each other, then a break for two weeks, to figure out what it was (my choice). After the two weeks, we agreed to see each other and see where it would take us. No doubt I was more "in love" than him, but he still felt something, and was confused. One day he heard about a woman who had been seeing a guy for 11 months, and he still didn't wanted to be in a relationship. He came to me, and said he didn't want to lead me on, and "what if it'll never change?"... He wanted to make a plan, and I wasn't comfortable with the whole talk. I thought we were on the same page and I wasn't ready to rush into a relationship either. Well.. The whole conversation made me insecure, and when he forgot to text me back about if he had time on my birthday, I wrote that he was clearly not as into it as he was saying, and it was better to stop it now. He apoligized and said he was very busy, but he wanted to be with me on my birthday. I didn't answer him. One week after we came in a big fight on text and at last we agreed to meet. I was very sad and started crying, he said after my reaction on the whole birthday thing, he realized I had more feelings in it than him. He loved me, but he's really busy and the whole "roller coster" thing made him scared and he doubted about if it was him who had that influence on me. He still was confused about his feelings for me, but it was better for me if he cut it off 100%.. He talked about a month NC, and see where it would take us. But I didn't think it was a good idea, since it would make me hope and wait. I know everyone's advices are NC, and I agree.. For now.. BUT as you see it, is there any chance? His fear is that we're getting back to the same relationship as before, and my behavior didn't help on his fear. I want to show him that it's different now. But how??
xpaperxcutx Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Understand that what he's feeling are his own fears and not a reflection of you. If he's willing to live without you, let him, but don't hold yourself back thinking if you wait, you will finally get back with him. Learn to be happy by himself and that confidence will attract others who are willing to commit. I don't want to give you false hope, but if you can be strong by going NC, know that these feelings of loss will eventually pass. Just remember, sometimes it's okay to be alone. Learn to love being by yourself.
2fargone Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 You don't have to show him, it will only make his fear grow. It's his scenario, it's in his head. Try to communicate that to him in a loving way (so no blaming/pointing).
Author Sasa123 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 As told, I'm doing the NC at the moment. It's so difficult though. I really want to see him, but I know I should keep the NC longer.. It's only been two weeks since we last spoke, it feels like an eternity.
Author Sasa123 Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 I really want him back. NC is so difficult when my feelings are so strong :'(
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