confident Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 There is a cute girl at a restaurant that I frequent. She sometimes works at the register, but mostly works in the kitchen. My first interaction with her was a few weeks back at the register when she asked where I was from and then she said she has visited my home country and loved every bit of it. We had a short chat as there were other people standing in line to order, but she seemed interested by the way she talked and the body language (smiling a lot and eye contact that was more than normal). Fast forward a few weeks and I noticed that when I was eating at the tables, she walked close by and smiled directly at me on at least two separate occasions. I returned the smile. I am planning to take the risk and ask her next time "When are we having coffee ?" or something of that sort. Worst case, she will say no. Questions - 1. Do you think my description above indicates interest from her ? 2. Is asking her straight up for coffee a good/bad idea ?
Kmalle4q Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 (edited) Sounds like you a stalker...kidding 1. Maybe she is being nice because its her job she works with customers so she gottta smile and have a lot of eye contact 2. She may be interested but never know until you try If she says no..its fine at least you will know going for coffee is a good idea because its gives a good amount of time to talk and all...So I say go for it ask her because like I say you will never know until you try...oh btw you have the name confident so have some confidence and as her jeeze if you aint change the name...just sayin Edited November 3, 2013 by Kmalle4q forget something
mammasita Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 You never know unless you ask. As you say, The worst she can say is no. I want to add.....don't ever be afraid of that. It happens to EVERYONE! Just go for it. 1
felicity1 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 (edited) "When are we having coffee ?" /QUOTE] You have to be careful the way you ask this. Here you seem controlling as you have already made up her mind for her that she'll be having coffee with you. This also makes you appear desperate. It's better to say "I'd like to have coffee with you sometime whenever you're free". The freedom part is really important. Here you are showing her you're interested without being controlling. Edited November 3, 2013 by felicity1
lovenotwar Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 1. I don't think the above can be construed to mean she's interested in you. Sorry. I've worked in a restaurant, and employees are basically supposed to be nice to everyone, especially regulars. 2. Yes, you should ask her anyway. Who knows if she likes you, but you clearly like her, so you should just give it a shot. The worst case is it will go really badly and you won't want to return to the restaurant. Is she worth it? Having said that, be prepared that she'll say no. That's OK, and it doesn't mean anything. By the way, I agree that your comment is too forward. Unless you're the hottest man on the planet, or a huge douche, it isn't really a good idea to be so presumptuous. Something more down-to-earth would be to ask if she wanted to do something after she gets off work. The line might be OK off-the-cuff if you were already joking around with her, but completely cold, stick to something civilized.
Author confident Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Thanks to all folks that provided constructive inputs. The next time I see her, I will try to strike a conversation assuming there may be no interest and she is just being nice. If it works, good. If not, we carry on life as usual.
Author confident Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Sounds like you a stalker...kidding 1. Maybe she is being nice because its her job she works with customers so she gottta smile and have a lot of eye contact 2. She may be interested but never know until you try If she says no..its fine at least you will know going for coffee is a good idea because its gives a good amount of time to talk and all...So I say go for it ask her because like I say you will never know until you try...oh btw you have the name confident so have some confidence and as her jeeze if you aint change the name...just sayin Going by your response, in your book there are two types of people - 1. Ones who try for what they like and you call them stalkers. 2. The ones who do not even try, and those you would perhaps classify as losers ? I am none of those and was seeking frank opinions on what the best way to move forward was and if my expectations were realistic. On your comment on my screen name - Hope you realize there is a fine line between confidence and overconfidence.
Author confident Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 Something strange happened today. I was getting dinner and she passed close by, so I said Hi and she asked me how I was doing. We spoke for a minute. She said she would want to go back and visit my home country again and went on to ask me if I still go back and visit. The strange thing was that she was extremely nervous talking to me. She was breathing very heavily. I understand breathing heavily implies extreme nervousness. This could be either very bad news for me or very good. Does not look like a grey area exists here. Since she was so nervous, I did not ask her for coffee today as that would have put her on the spot. I plan to keep talking to her and when she is more comfortable, ask her for coffee. What do you think is going on here ? Anyone has had similar experiences ?
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 You are over thinking this. Really you are so focused on her that you noticed her breathing & then came to conclusions about how this has something to do with you. STOP. Her breathing patterns don't mean anything at this point.
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Something strange happened today. I was getting dinner and she passed close by, so I said Hi and she asked me how I was doing. We spoke for a minute. She said she would want to go back and visit my home country again and went on to ask me if I still go back and visit. The strange thing was that she was extremely nervous talking to me. She was breathing very heavily. I understand breathing heavily implies extreme nervousness. This could be either very bad news for me or very good. Does not look like a grey area exists here. Since she was so nervous, I did not ask her for coffee today as that would have put her on the spot. I plan to keep talking to her and when she is more comfortable, ask her for coffee. What do you think is going on here ? Anyone has had similar experiences ? I think you are doing good. Not that I know anything about asking women out. I've always felt socially retarded. She likes you enough to stop and chat with you and ask questions about something in your life. I think if she were creeped out she would have been polite, but kept moving on to do her job. If you sensed she was nervous, then good for you for not pushing further. I don't really have advice, but it looks like you can ask her to coffee anytime after this. You know her name, right? And she knows yours?
felicity1 Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Something strange happened today. I was getting dinner and she passed close by, so I said Hi and she asked me how I was doing. We spoke for a minute. She said she would want to go back and visit my home country again and went on to ask me if I still go back and visit. The strange thing was that she was extremely nervous talking to me. She was breathing very heavily. I understand breathing heavily implies extreme nervousness. This could be either very bad news for me or very good. Does not look like a grey area exists here. Since she was so nervous, I did not ask her for coffee today as that would have put her on the spot. I plan to keep talking to her and when she is more comfortable, ask her for coffee. What do you think is going on here ? Anyone has had similar experiences ? I reckon she likes you and feels anxious about how she's going to some across to you when she speaks b/c you seem so confident. This happened to me just recently with a very confident guy I really like, the heavy breathing/nervous thing.
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