Phantom888 Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I consider myself a fairly successful online dater. I get frequent responses, and often "winks" and hellos initiated by the woman. But even I don't bat 1000. I meet the girl after texting for a few days, and if there is no chemistry, at least I had a good time. Most of the women want to make out the first date, which I am okay with. Some want to have sex, but I always wait on that. It takes many dates to find a "relationship", so I don't expect much. My GF found me on Match, and we are in a committed long term relationship.
newmoon Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 I consider myself a fairly successful online dater. I get frequent responses, and often "winks" and hellos initiated by the woman. But even I don't bat 1000. I meet the girl after texting for a few days, and if there is no chemistry, at least I had a good time. Most of the women want to make out the first date, which I am okay with. Some want to have sex, but I always wait on that. It takes many dates to find a "relationship", so I don't expect much. My GF found me on Match, and we are in a committed long term relationship. sadly the girls who want to make out and sleep with someone from online so quickly make it much harder for a 'nice' girl to find someone. men start to have an expectation that we'll all be that way for a cheap cup of coffee. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 The goal of interacting with your prospect after the initial connection but pre-meeting is not to "develop the relationship," it's to get to the meeting as soon as possible ROFL... the only "goal" in that, in your case, is satisfying the urge to get your stinger wet. Women know this, and only those equally enchanted by the idea, are bothering with you. Unfortunately for you, most of them can do much better. Again, there would be no gain from online dating were the whole design merely so you could save space in your little black book, for instead using your computer to sort names and phone numbers. That circumvents the "online" part completely. And you know this, but you're just trying to justify your own absurd approach. 2
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 There is not denying OLD is stacked. Just use the threads here as an example Girl : full inbox within 1 hour of making a profile. Guy : zero responses in 6 months of 3 messages sent out a day. ... and Loveshack, with so very few males capable of comprehending that women know why those guys are there on OLD.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 the low odds involved in the dating game, especially for men, I'd rather not take the chance. The "low odds" ???? You mean because 50.8% of the population is female??? Those "low odds"?? Now of course you'd want to adjust those numbers for the percentages of both genders which are gay, but even after doing so, the only logical conclusion about your confusion is that you are citing the extremely low odds of your getting your stinger wet within four hours of your liking someone's OLD profile. And what you dislike about OLD is that the women there, in general, are far, far less likely to put-out for you so quickly, as is their potential after you've first plied them with alcohol out in the club scene. Were they the sorts who put-out that fast, they would surely be out and giving it up to somebody else - not there at home skimming over your absurd-but-telling intro. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Not in any sports league, and besides they're usually male-dominated. . Both men and women can tell a lot about a guy who yearns to play in a women's sport league. (and I'm quite sure that women can glean the obvious merely from skimming your OLD profile) 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 It's kind of funny, most of my online dating occurs with responsive women an hour away from me in a large city. I have pretty much emailed every relatively attractive woman (in my eyes) in my area (that at least have all their teeth and don't weigh the size of a dump truck). All of which have been non-responsive And just what is the common element to each of those efforts??
newmoon Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 I don't do OLD much, but every time I have, it led to sex or very close to that. But I agree with the posters that say OLD is lame. Guys, just start approaching women. You'll get further approaching HOT girls at grocery stores than ugly, entitled girls online (even though the grocery store has a low success rate, it's still higher than OLD for the average guy). omg, really? seriously, this is news to me and if it's true then I don't want to do OLD because I, for one, would never even come close to doing this. or perhaps just certain sites are more known for this than others? I don't get the impression people on eharmony are looking for sex as readily as say people on OKC
mortensorchid Posted November 6, 2013 Posted November 6, 2013 Sounds like neither one was that interested once you met face to face. Not necessarily something that is only associated with OLD, it can happen in other situations as well. 1
antonio1149 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 sadly the girls who want to make out and sleep with someone from online so quickly make it much harder for a 'nice' girl to find someone. men start to have an expectation that we'll all be that way for a cheap cup of coffee. When I was on OKC it was pretty clear from their profiles that almost all of the women were looking for a LTR. When I met the few that I did from the site, I worked from that assumption. The first date was always a "meet and greet" and there was no making out. There was also usually a lack of interest on my part, and maybe on theirs though I never know if I don't put the vibe out there. In other words, you have little to worry about.
antonio1149 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 ROFL... the only "goal" in that, in your case, is satisfying the urge to get your stinger wet. Women know this, and only those equally enchanted by the idea, are bothering with you. Unfortunately for you, most of them can do much better. You are wrong, O trollish one. And how would you know any of this unless you've actually tried OLD? Again, there would be no gain from online dating were the whole design merely so you could save space in your little black book, for instead using your computer to sort names and phone numbers. That circumvents the "online" part completely. And you know this, but you're just trying to justify your own absurd approach.I have no idea what you're trying to say here. Can you try again, this time in plain English?
Syn Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I guess neither of us was really that interested, LOL. Was a typical case of the fake chemistry of meeting someone online. I imagine it's on to the next for her; I'm taking a break. That could happen with someone you meet in real life, too, but I doubt it. I get what you're saying, I've had this happen too, lol. You write books to people on an online website, you get all interested, then you meet in person and it's like a wilting flower. You can hear the trombone from the old cartoons playing: "wah wah wah." I do think this is a result of online dating. I've had the opposite happen too - barely spoke via text but the in person chemistry was amazing.
salparadise Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 People's opinions of online dating are a direct reflection of how much success they've had. The reality is that it's neither all good nor all bad, just different. Men who like it do so because they've figured out how to leverage the differences for some degree of success (whatever that means to them), and they keep expectations realistic so as not to get butt hurt all the time. If your self-esteem is so thin that a few non-responses or first dates that go no farther makes you feel all cynical and victimized, then you should probably give up on real women altogether and either jerk to porn or call an escort. It still amazes me how the same few guys on here seem to be so completely vested in convincing the world that online dating is evil. What is with that? Women are not prone to charitable contributions when it comes to mate selection whether it's online or otherwise. If you don't have what it takes to pique their interest it doesn't mean the women or the place you found them are are conspiring against you... it just means you can't pique their interest. As always, some guys are gettin' it and some aren't. 1
ZipperZapper Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Do you honestly expect us to believe that or does it make you feel better about you not being successful in dating? Why are there BILLIONS of women who got married? Why there are TONS of Dating Sites full of women? Why there are plenty of women here wanting to be asked out? He's actually got the right idea... women generally don't want to be asked out unless the guy is tall and good-looking. According to their world view, anyone else who doesn't meet that standard of physical attractiveness is a creep. 1
ZipperZapper Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 It sucks even beyond the fact that it's dominated by women with hyper-inflated egos. I met this girl on OKC, and she seemed really cool. Pretty, intelligent, you get the picture. We texted for about 4 days almost non-stop, really hit it off so to speak. We finally meet, have coffee for an hour or two, and what followed was three semi-awkward days of no one texting each other. I guess neither of us was really that interested, LOL. Was a typical case of the fake chemistry of meeting someone online. I imagine it's on to the next for her; I'm taking a break. That could happen with someone you meet in real life, too, but I doubt it. Amazing thing... I had almost exactly the same experience earlier this week. When I met the woman I'd been chatting with via Skype (not via webcam), it was clear there was no attraction on her part or mine. I got the sense that she was pissed off that I didn't look as good in real life as I did in my pictures online. She would hardly even look at me during the half-hour we chatted in person.
newmoon Posted November 9, 2013 Posted November 9, 2013 He's actually got the right idea... women generally don't want to be asked out unless the guy is tall and good-looking. According to their world view, anyone else who doesn't meet that standard of physical attractiveness is a creep. not true at all, and perhaps dependent upon a woman's age. the older we get the more realize a short, balding guy who treats us right and dotes on us is worth far more than a handsome guy with little in the way of values. I've dated hot and not guys, both eventually have the same issues, but generally the 'ugly' guys know they are and compensate quite a bit for that :-)
Biscous Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 As far as my experiences with online dating, I've met up with some women that we were not compatible with at all. That happens, but many I have found I have no spark to continue. I've had some women show interest online. I started a conversation with them and they engaged, but they closed their account or quickly lost interest for some reason. What is also frustrating to me is the fact that it is a bit 'stacked'. A lot of women looking for what looks good 'on paper', so you will see women disqualify men based on height, race, etc. In my case I feel that being a black male I get more responses from black women much more than say white women, and the only thing I can conjure up is race. I'm 30, very successful. Maybe it is my approach, but then again I try to make genuine conversation and I've noticed much of that goes ignored. I feel better just meeting someone in person and connecting in that manner to be honest.
runningfar Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Most of the guys I know who OLD... 1. Are only looking for sex. 2. Are on the free / pay sites (eHarmony is their favorite because they said there are more "suckers" on it). 3. Send Mass Messages while taking a crap on the toilet. 4. They literally have spreadsheets to keep track of all the girls they are talking too so they do not confuse stories or the women. 5. Have no desire whatsoever for a LTR much less a relationship but their profiles say the exact opposite. 6. They tell me OLD is like being a guy in a bar full of women with a bunch of roofies. 7. "Future Faking" works like a CHAMP and the older the woman the better it works. 8. Have been on dates with multiple women, same day, had sex with them all and no shower in-between. 9. They have TONS of success. 10. The women were doing a lot of the work / pursing. They were even upset / in disbelieve when they were dumped after the guy got laid (which was his only objective to begin with) and had tons of Stage 5 Clingers. I've never done online dating. It sounds like, however, you know far more disgusting people than I do. I know people like that, but they wouldn't be the majority of any group I know. Who would use people like that, for anything?
Biscous Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 You should see how much Tinder can suck too lol.
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 As far as my experiences with online dating, I've met up with some women that we were not compatible with at all. That happens, but many I have found I have no spark to continue. I've had some women show interest online. I started a conversation with them and they engaged, but they closed their account or quickly lost interest for some reason. What is also frustrating to me is the fact that it is a bit 'stacked'. A lot of women looking for what looks good 'on paper', so you will see women disqualify men based on height, race, etc. In my case I feel that being a black male I get more responses from black women much more than say white women, and the only thing I can conjure up is race. I'm 30, very successful. Maybe it is my approach, but then again I try to make genuine conversation and I've noticed much of that goes ignored. I feel better just meeting someone in person and connecting in that manner to be honest. LOL why would it "surprise you" that you get more responses from black women than white? You are BLACK. Most people date within their race so that is totally normal and natural. Both in OLD and REAL LIFE. Were you looking to not hear from bw? If so you can nicely put in your profile you are looking to explore "exotic" women. Might turn off some but others won't really care. Location might also be a factor. I'm black but I've lived only in metropolitan cities so I've gotten more non-black men approaching me in OLD than real life in the US b/c I see them "give me the eye" all the time but are usually too shy approach me so I have to indicate my reception boldly. European men walked up to me all the time. I love it all so doesn't matter to me. When I lived in London it mainly Africans and white men from every country I travelled to hitting on me. London is the interracial capital of the world statistically. I've dated almost every race and most likely will end up with a man of a different race and/or culture because variety is the spice of my life .
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 omg, really? seriously, this is news to me and if it's true then I don't want to do OLD because I, for one, would never even come close to doing this. or perhaps just certain sites are more known for this than others? I don't get the impression people on eharmony are looking for sex as readily as say people on OKC I am the OLD expert. Met my ex/first love online at 10 yrs ago at age 16. We dated twice within a 4 yr time frame. In between and after him I've dated TONS. I know people like my male best friend who met his girlfriend who I love for him online. Went to an Eharmony orchestrated wedding two years ago and they married in less than a year of meeting. Some of my closest guy friends and some of the best men I know right now are those I met online that it might not have panned out romantically but they were worth keeping as friends. The last friend being one from like 2yrs ago. Free sites are usually the ones that have the most people hooking up and playing games. It is free therefore they are not sacrificing or appreciating anything in general because they don't value what is free. The guy I like right now I actually met coincidentally the end of last year when I forgot to delete a profile I had b/c in 2011 I went cold turkey from OLD. I am just tired of OLD personally and right now he is the last person I will attempt to take seriously from there. I usually delete my profiles within a few months if not weeks because it gets old and a lot of people are full of shet online. I also find A LOT have the grass is greener syndrome, have commitment phobia and most multi-date. I don't do multi dating. I know exactly what I want and have to offer and I am a very decisive person so I focus on one guy at a time and by or before date 3 I know if it is worth going further. A guy with an aversion to OLD who is relationship/marriage minded for me is the best route to take. Less games, less options to be confused by.
Biscous Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 LOL why would it "surprise you" that you get more responses from black women than white? You are BLACK. Most people date within their race so that is totally normal and natural. Both in OLD and REAL LIFE. Were you looking to not hear from bw? If so you can nicely put in your profile you are looking to explore "exotic" women. Might turn off some but others won't really care. Location might also be a factor. I'm black but I've lived only in metropolitan cities so I've gotten more non-black men approaching me in OLD than real life in the US b/c I see them "give me the eye" all the time but are usually too shy approach me so I have to indicate my reception boldly. European men walked up to me all the time. I love it all so doesn't matter to me. When I lived in London it mainly Africans and white men from every country I travelled to hitting on me. London is the interracial capital of the world statistically. I've dated almost every race and most likely will end up with a man of a different race and/or culture because variety is the spice of my life . In my case I believe it is more to do with location. I've dated black women and outside my race, but in my area there are less black women overall and more whites and hispanics. I'd think by sheer numbers I'd get something comparable is what I meant.
Emissary Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 EDIT: Sorry, I meant to post a thread, not reply to this lol.
ktya Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 I've been online dating for about 3 months now and have only met 4 people offline. tons of responses, but most guys just want a pen pal relationship and never actually ask for or give a number. and, just like irl, when you give a number, many don't call. it's actually very easy to see why some of the men are single on the site just by reading the profiles - i'm amazed at the laundry lists of qualities they want (while not even being educated or decently employed), and I've yet to go out with a guy who was actually nice enough to buy me a cup of coffee. one guy made me pay for the 50 cent doughnut. I mean, really? and another wanted to split an appetizer to save money on the 'date' and then still wanted a kiss goodbye. it's nice (in theory) to want to meet someone this way, but I've come to the conclusion that i'd much rather meet someone random in my everyday life. I did OLD for a while when between girlfriends. You wouldnt beleive the number of women who are more than happy to play you out, drink your drinksl eat your food, and have you pay the bill, all the while saying how much fun they are having and how you two should get together again. Then when you shoot for the next meeting they tell you there was no chemistry. Not all girls are like that, but the female player is more likely to say yes knowing what shes up to so it is likely most guys have accidentally snagged their first few dates. While im more than happy to take a girl out for dinner or drinks and pay, in OLD i learned quickly to restrict first dates to coffee or a walk in the park.
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