greenfairie Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Betrayed by my ex boyfriend of 5 years and old best friend of almost 20 years. Long story short. Ex of 4-5 years (grew up with him known him since we were little kids, really great relationship (experienced all our firsts together) I had a rough time after high school, I broke off the relationship because I wasn't in a good state of mind (dropped out of college, became into such a heavy pothead, felt like nothing was going on in my life, too focused on my relationship with my ex instead of doing what was needed to be done) We were absolutely devoted to each other, lived together for a couple of years.. He wanted me back for months and one day he just stopped responding… I freaked out and pleaded for him back which is embarrassing and stupid I know that now, but later found out from a group of mutual friends that includes staff from a school we went to.. It took me almost half a year to build up the courage to meet up with him because I knew his attitude towards me wasn't good and my old best friend kept texting me to hang out.. Another mutual friend kept pressuring me to try to work things out and that she loves me, even if they're dating.. I didn't want to do anything with her, and I felt pushed into the corner so I asked my ex to meet up and he politely agreed to, probably for her sake. So we met up the very next morning, talked about why my old best friend is trying to be friends with me by inviting me out to trips/parties if they're together and if they were, I wish them happiness but please not to include me because we have so many mutual friends in common it's such a small world. He straight up denied it, said that I hurt her a lot, I need to fix things with her, kept talking **** on people and how crappy his life is right now, I was surprised he was sharing such personal things with me. He would tell me he loves me, misses me, we just need to grow up on our own a little bit more… He told my closest girlfriends I'm his soul mate, he loves me, but it can't work right now blahblah. He started dating my old best friend the same month we ended things but even that month, we went out on a couple of dates and it went really well…. I was even sharing personal feelings about the breakup to my old best friend, looking back now I feel so naive and dumb.. I even ran into her a few months ago, told her how I felt weird hearing all this stuff and did not know how to bring it to her attention because I knew she would get defensive. She still denies it to my face when she tells my friends the opposite and how much she's in love with my ex. I'm really not the confrontational type, nor do I like to yell unless pushed to or plan on doing revenge... so I don't understand why they both couldn't just admit it to me instead of me finding out from a bunch of people which hurt way more?? She was even like, (your name).. We love you. We would never do that to you. We never kissed, had sex, or any of that stuff. He's just been there for me lately and you disappeared when in fact I've been in the same town the past year and I've had the same number…. Hello? I don't hear from you for weeks at a time either, girl! He just sent me a birthday text last month and we haven't spoke in months before that, I don't understand or trust his motives with me. I just didn't reply…. Would he care? I doubt it. This whole situation still weirds me out, pains me to no end some days… I would love to hear some advice or get some insight that will help me feel like this is normal and I'm not alone in this situation?
lovenotwar Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Hey g. fairie, I am so sorry to hear about this. I really feel for you, and how you must have felt finding out about this. When you're friends with someone for a long time, especially when you loved them deeply, it's really hard to ever get over that. I suspect that's what's going on with your ex and old friend. No matter what, they probably still regret not having you in their lives, even if they've moved on. Having said that, since it's bothering you, it might not hurt to find out. If you haven't yet, you might just want to talk honestly with your ex and figure out what his deal is. It might seem like he doesn't deserve that, but you do deserve it, and it might help both of you to let him know how much he's hurt you.
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