Are all guys inherently jerks?

[Titania22]

Sorry to interrupt the man bashing going on here but there are 2 sides to every story. Women are not always angels either. Most women play way more games than guys do.

 

Bottom line is there are a lot of women out there that are boring or have nothing going for them too. I suspect that any guy that puts in the time to find that out would hang around long enough to get inside the chick so it wasn't a complete waste of their time.

 

Well this isn't about alot of women out there but rather my daughter and I, who are both very different from the average woman (and different from each other). And no man has got inside my daughter so there goes your theory with her.

 

As for me, this last guy is on the other side of the world. So he hasn't even gotten to touch me, and he hasn't seen so much as a bare breast of mine. Nor did I make him spend time gaming with me. In fact if a guys motivation in gaming with me is to get sex and they think I am boring then that is pretty stupid since I live so far away from them all, and their time would be better spent on boring girls that live closer to them. Instead I get lots of guys coming back to game with with, and one guy introduced me as the 'friendliest person in all of starcraft'. I think people of both sexes genuinely like me as a person.

 

Sometimes we attract the people and situations we don't want because we dwell on them enough and use them as fodder for our confirmation bias. So we encounter more people with jerkish qualities. Other times, people manipulate their way into your good graces and then let you down by being jerks. It's a crap shoot really.

 

People suck sometimes. Once you accept that, you'll be less annoyed by it and you may find yourself encountering good people who suck less than others and you'll appreciate it

 

Your daughter seems like she'll be fine.

 

As for you nice guys, you don't have to stop being nice if that's naturally how you are - but you can't be so trapped within yourself, there is more to your character than just being nice and stable. Discover it.

 

 

Yes I understand Wholigan. And there is definitely the possibility of truth to what you say. Since I don't know how to change that though, I have made it a point for a while now, not to look at all, and just try to avoid being attracted to and attracting anyone. I know there is something messed up about the way I see things, but I have no idea how to change. It seems like a chicken and egg thing. In order to attract a man who doesn't play hot and cold, I need to be able to believe such a man exists. I can't believe he exists if I have never seen him.

 

Platonically, I have miles of proof of the goodness of men, but I have never seen it translate successfully into something with a sexual component.

[phineas]

IKR, except technically they haven't got some sex yet with her. Because she wants the guy to make some sort of effort to make her first time special.

 

And to put it in perspective, she asked her boyfriend to the formal (instead of waiting for him to ask her). She baked her strawberry muffins with fresh strawberries, put them in a pretty box with a box and a card asking him to go with her. It wasn't expensive but did take some time and effort on her part. She figures she only loses her virginity once, a guy should be willing to make some effort to make the experience special, which doesn't mean expensive. She just wants to know the guy cares (or at least looks like he cares).

 

I would have thought the same as you. If sex is good wouldn't guys want more of it, apparently not.

 

IDK I honestly avoided virgins just because of all of the to-do with their first time sex. LOL!

 

Have you told her it will probably be bad & over quickly?

I mean really, unless she is with an older man who has experience & knows what he's doing it really isn't going to be all that special at all.

 

Oh, and FYI, she is probably putting a lot of pressure on guys being a virgin and expecting it to be special. Making cupcakes ect probably freaks them out and may make her seem clingy.

 

Also, maybe these guys know they will never live up to her expectations of what first time sex will be like and are keeping her at a distance?

 

IDK.

[skydiveaddict]

Hey guys,

 

 

Please chime in, because at this point I am losing all faith that it is even worth getting romantically involved with the male sex, and that even more depressing for my daughter since she is still so young and has so much she hasn't experienced yet.

 

Yes we are all jerks. At least those of us who get dates. That's because girls crave that and will not date a "nice guy." You can pretend it's not true, but it is.

[greenfairie]

No… I've been in a relationship with a guy I've known forever for a few years.. He could have easily walked away if he wanted to but he didn't… So not all men are like what you might perceive them to be.. That's what keeps you from being open and vulnerable to falling in love again… You'd be missing out on the joys in love… There are always going to be valleys and peaks

[ls32ssibm]

Maybe have a talk with your 18 old daughter about how 18 year old horny guys will jump at the opportunity to use her as a sex toy. This isn't anything new.

[happydate]

Hey guys,

 

I know the title is provocative, but let me explain.

 

Over the past 7 years, my experiences and my daughters experiences with men/boys have had a common theme.

 

We have tended to be friends with guys before anything else happens. Guys that come across really nice/friendly, seem to really enjoy our company, seem to really like us as people.

 

But then one day something happens, and the friendship turns to something more romantic, in my daughters case actual relationships. I haven't been so fortunate (if that's the right word) myself. The pattern we have been noticing is that it seems after a guy ejaculates (not specifying how, sex or not) he seems to lose interest and does a disappearing act. Sure he may come back, but it's seriously hurtful when a guy disappears off the planet for a minimum of 3days after he gets off. (Hence my use of the word jerk in the title).

 

All in all it seems like the fastest way to get rid of a guy is to bring sex (whether just talk or physical acts) into the friendship/relationship. In my daughters case she has had friendships lasting years.

 

Be honest guys and really look at your own behaviour, are there any guys that don't do the disappearing act after you feel like you've got the girl?

 

Personally if guys are so content after masturbating that they can go 3+ days without even wanting to contact the girl they are supposedly interested in, then I am getting the feeling that i have a much higher libido then most men. (I considered myself someone with a low libido.) When I am into someone my sexual desire goes off the charts.

 

Please chime in, because at this point I am losing all faith that it is even worth getting romantically involved with the male sex, and that even more depressing for my daughter since she is still so young and has so much she hasn't experienced yet.

 

Not all guys are like that. The guys you attracted are like that. Perhaps it has something to do with the Australian's Government introduction of the baby bonus and your society's emphasis on making babies to raise Australian's fertility rate has something to do with males who are just interested in sex and sex for babies for the bonus which I was told were abused in the past? When I was in Australia in 2008, I was simply amazed at your Government's drive for this. I mean I see billboards getting hooked up to make babies. You certainly don't see that in the USA and in Canada all that obvious and often. Could this then effect the psyche of Australian males? And Australian males are also a little bit on the wild side I noticed. Brash, rude and sometimes obnoxious -- it's not that I was intimidated by them. Surely a little different than North American males per se who are a little on the weak side?

 

Having said that. Please let me explain why you attracted these males. Like attracts like. If you are sexually active and love sex, you will tend to attract males who put a lot of emphasis on SEX period. Love is not sex. Love is not an emotion either. Love is something else. You can have a lot of sex and not be in love. And yet you can be in love and have lots of sex to solidify and grow that loving relationship. So sex is not the means to an end, but rather the rewards of a truly loving relationship.

Typically, men are trained to recognize women like yourself. Insecure, slightly clingy and needy and always needing assurances are "game (in the hunter prey relationship)" to them. To you, it's your normal behaviour. To them, it's a sign of a pussy reward later down the road. These men will wait a few dates or even a month or months or years down the road, but they know that they are getting pussies. Why, because these women will give them what they want. It's a trait of insecurity, clinginess and neediness for someone to complete them. As long as you need some man to complete you, these men know you are easy sex. Sex is that exchange of that completion. But as you found out later, they disappear. The hunter who caught his prey wins the game.

 

A healthy male is a person who loves himself and does not need any woman to complete him. And he is not gay either. So outside of that, the men you attracted aren't healthy. They are broken because they need SEX to reassure themselves of their manhood.

 

A healthy male is a person who looks at the woman and say, what does she have to offer to me other than sex! His main focus is not sex but an equal fruitful partnership. Sex is only icing on the cake. If I ask all the women here who are successful with their men, would they say that it's the intimacy, friendship, and gifts they each have and the love they each have and know how to share and give willingly make them a couple? Am I not off that? Which means that if a man knows how to love himself, naturally he knows how to love others including a woman. If a man does not know how to love himself, how can he love you as a woman after SEX? So it does not matter when you have sex with a man who knows how to love himself -- it could be the first date, second date, 10 dates or 1000 dates later. It's like a Kenyan marathon runner who can complete a marathon in 2hrs plus a few minutes; whereas a normal Joe or Jane roughly finishes in 3 to 4 hrs. These marathon runners share the same goal; they all end up at the same finishing line so obviously TIME is not the determining factor in finishing the marathon. Never judge or play some mind games to filter man based on when you have sex or not, or you may loose that healthy man to some other lucky girl. Always have sex when you feel the time is right. Change yourself to be a confident loving person and you WILL attract a confident man who knows how to love you and know how to satisfy your sexual desires. A confident secure girl is a disease to these low self-esteem men who use women for sex. They will not approach them period.

 

Hope this answers your question..

Edited November 3, 2013 by happydate

[gaius]

And I am not talking about a guy being a pushover or not aggressive. I am literally talking about guys disappearing for 3+ days, without any warning. Why will a guy let his friend know that he will be working and unavailable for a few days, but when they are involved romantically he will disappear without a word. Why do we get better treatment when we are platonic friends, but it goes out the window when we have become vulnerable.

There's definitely something about the male sexual drive that makes you want to be a douche. I know in my last relationship our first dinner date involved me taking her to a place that ran me $115 for two and our last date was at Panera Bread and the cheap movie theater that smelled like pee. With a slow devolution in between.

 

In a way we work just as hard as we have to. If you're the nicest person in starcraft than they're gonna think they can get away with not telling you they'll be away, so they do it. And then lose respect and interest in you when you don't punish them for it in one form or another. It's just how our mind works.

And to put it in perspective, she asked her boyfriend to the formal (instead of waiting for him to ask her). She baked her strawberry muffins with fresh strawberries, put them in a pretty box with a box and a card asking him to go with her. It wasn't expensive but did take some time and effort on her part. She figures she only loses her virginity once, a guy should be willing to make some effort to make the experience special, which doesn't mean expensive. She just wants to know the guy cares (or at least looks like he cares).

That's only going to make a guy feel emasculated and run away. He doesn't want anything in a pretty box with a card or to be asked out by a girl he might be interested in. That's just begging him to be a douche. Where is she getting that kind of behavior from?

I would have thought the same as you. If sex is good wouldn't guys want more of it, apparently not.

It's not really about the sex. It's always about the dynamic.

[Ruby Slippers]

Titania, I read all of your posts in this thread, and while I don't have any strong specific advice, my general comment is that there is probably something about you and your daughter that is attracting this type of guy and recreating these conditions again and again. I think this happens when you need to resolve something unresolved - you keep getting presented with the same problem until you finally learn how to solve it.

 

When I was more insecure but put on a brave front, I attracted the same kind of guy. Now that I've built up my self-esteem and have more genuine confidence from within, that's the kind of guy I'm meeting.

 

I've been dating and in relationships for my entire adult life, and a man has never, ever just up and disappeared on me. In pretty much all cases, their interest stayed the same or increased after sex. So no, not all guys check out after sex.

 

I think the best approach to meeting men is to really go for it in your own life, and see who you attract. The guys who are drawn to you when you're naturally lit up and living life the way you love to live it will naturally be good matches.

 

Looking back, I can see that I've always attracted a guy right on my wavelength. Last year I was in a major entrepreneurial push with my business, putting myself out there like never before - and I attracted a guy exactly on that wavelength, different in many ways from anyone I'd been with before. Now I'm on a different and even better wavelength. I've just started going out again, and once more, I'm attracting a totally different kind of guy - the kind of guys who seem better-suited to me overall.

 

As you get more and more in touch with who you are and what you want, you naturally draw to you what you need and want.

[Titania22]

Happydate

 

I see where you are coming from and also making incorrect assumptions (not your fault how would you know). This thread is me in a vunerable emotional state, not what I am like in my day to day.

 

As for me living in Australia, I don't get involved with australians. My last boyfriend was Australian and he withheld sex for the last 12months of our relationship. This latest guy lives in Texas, and my last attempt at a relationship, was with a british guy. Since the Australian, on my best year I get to have sex 4 times. Which means for pretty much my whole sexual peak and beyond, I have had very little sex, and the guys I have met just don't seem that into sex, especially that british guy, who was 34yrs old and had only had 2 previous partners.

 

Granted I am coming across clingy and low self esteem in this thread, but most of the time I am bright, happy and looking to enjoy every second of life.

 

But on the subject of dates again, no one ever asks me on dates, and mostly I just interact with people online. Maybe I am extra emotional in part because my best girlfriend died last month, and she was one of the few people I actually know in real life. I don't really feel terribly affected by it, so maybe overreacting to this is part of me processing those feeling. I don't really know, just one thought.

 

Gaius seems to get it. Thankyou for acknowledging that our observations are a real thing and I am not completely insane. I've got news for him if he thinks that just because I am super nice and friendly, I am a doormat. My life is too short for people who are going to bring me down. That's why all those rude Australians Happydate mentioned, don't get anywhere with me.

 

As for my daughter gift, she was just thinking about what she herself would appreciate. She didn't get the idea from me, I am way too manly to be bothered baking for someone. As for the reaction of her boyfriend, he sent her about a dozen text messages that afternoon and evening thanking her for the gift. So at least he the short term he appreciated it. I wonder if her problem is boys today being too damn lazy, literally not motivated to do anything.

 

Ruby Slippers It's interesting what you wrote, because I had been under the impression that I had developed high self-esteem, but I obviously haven't had success with the few men I have managed to attract. The dangerousness of the last line you wrote is that given that I thought I had developed high self esteem, was putting myself out there in the gaming community as my authentic self, subconsciously I assumed the guy I attracted was a really good match for where I am, we really seemed to connect on every wavelength. I mean even if I still hadn't attracted the right guy up until now, I had witnessed a difference in the quality of the men.

 

 

Hmm another thought, if all my problems are guys disappearing for days without communicating it first, then maybe my problem is communication. I don't necessarily mean to say that I don't communicate enough, but rather, if what I attract is a reflection of someone I am failed at (a lesson I am not learning), and the only thing these guys have is that they disappear for chucks of time unexpectedly, then maybe whatever is going wrong with me has something to do with communication.

 

As someone (and Gaius) said earlier in the thread, some part of my behaviour during the whole period I know them, is telling them that the behaviour is completely acceptable. Now I just need to find out what the hell it is that i am doing, saying or not saying.

 

What do you guys think, does this idea have any merit?

[Ruby Slippers]

But on the subject of dates again, no one ever asks me on dates, and mostly I just interact with people online. Maybe I am extra emotional in part because my best girlfriend died last month, and she was one of the few people I actually know in real life.

I'm sorry that you lost your best girlfriend.

 

I think keeping most of your social interactions to online must be a contributing factor. Online relationships are virtual, and in a sense not real.

 

What's keeping you from meeting people in real life? I've gone through some anti-social periods myself - but humans are social creatures. People need people. Online relationships are constrained to the machine environment, which naturally removes a good portion of the humanity.

[Titania22]

I'm sorry that you lost your best girlfriend.

 

I think keeping most of your social interactions to online must be a contributing factor. Online relationships are virtual, and in a sense not real.

 

What's keeping you from meeting people in real life? I've gone through some anti-social periods myself - but humans are social creatures. People need people. Online relationships are constrained to the machine environment, which naturally removes a good portion of the humanity.

 

hmm I have been trying to answer this for a while, writing several responses but none of them really did the best job. People are complex. The reason I make friends online is because all my interests are online. Now that I am working I am getting to meet new people through that work, it's all very new, and although I get along well with everyone I meet, I know I am nothing like them. I have never been mainstream, nor do I want to be. Apart from my daughter I have only met 2 people in this lifetime who really got me. Nor have I been desperate to make friends. I really enjoy my own company, although giving the right activity I enjoy the company of other too. But I understand those really special friends, the ones that get it, the ones that you meet and it's like you've always known them, aren't ones you can find. They turn up when you least expect it.

 

It's hard to be out in the world when I have no reason to be. Work gives me a reason, my bimonthly philosophy group gives me a reason, but all the other attempts I made the past few years felt like a waste of effort, nothing came out of them, and I didn't especially enjoy myself. Gaming gives me alot of pleasure, I joined a clan, we have been in a clan vs clan tournament, for the first time in my life I feel like I am a part of something, and it's something I am passionate about, with people that share my passion. Nothing in the real world can offer me that.

 

I hope that answers your question, it was difficult to articulate.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I haven't noticed it after sex but for me, guys seem to lose interest once they think they have me emotionally hooked. I sometimes think that the only way to make it work is to always be a bit distant and a bit unavailable. It kind of sucks that it has to be this way...I am still looking for a guy that is not like that.

[gaius]

You might be on to something about communication Titania. Honestly think if his behavior bothers you then you should yell at him for it. Or at least initiate some sort of confrontation. My ex wouldn't be very direct but I could usually tell she was unhappy about something based on her demeanor. Passive confrontation is good too!

 

You're really not out of line and clingy for being a little miffed that he changed things and then just vanished for a while. He's the one who turned things romantic, he can't have it both ways. The freedom of a friendship and the benefits romance brings. If it's meant to be he'll find some way to rise and meet your needs. Mostly.

 

I love Ruby and I'm glad she's back posting regularly again but I have to disagree about the online thing. I've seen so much drama going on in the gaming community you would be shocked how real things online are for some and how well it does transfer into real life. Romance blossoming and leading to marriage, real life relationships breaking up because she met someone else in the guild, real life friendships ending over what goes on in the game, it's just insane really. Hard for anyone who hasn't been apart of it to understand. I thought the same thing she did until I took the plunge.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I also want to add that if a guy mistreats you even in a small way and you just let him get away with it, he will lose respect. You need to show what will and won't be tolerated. You need to show that you are even prepared to walk away. That's not even related to sex.

 

Even with my cat, if I am super nice to him and allow him to do what he wants - he will end up wanting more and more and increase his bad behavior. When he is punished (obviously in a non-cruel way, I just don't pick him up and pet/cuddle him for a while) - he becomes desperate for my attention and is at his best behavior.

 

So I wonder if this is just pure instinct and doesn't even have to do much with people or animals being "jerks".

 

P.S. this is something that can't really be faked in long term. Your confidence needs to be in a place where you genuinely are prepared to walk away. Men can sense it if it's fake. Your attitude should be "I am awesome. If you don't see it, your loss. In fact I feel a bit sorry for you for losing such a fantastic person ;)"

Edited November 3, 2013 by Eternal Sunshine

[ltjg45]

Guys is not all jerks. Of course, the ones that isn't jerks or have any of their attitude traits is the ones who is always single or paying for sex.

 

That is something I'm working on. I have to show that I can be a jerk every once in a while otherwise there is no point going after women at all.

[xxoo]

I do think the online thing is limiting, not because it can't work (it can, I've seen it work), but because many people are online and not out in the world meeting people because they are socially misfit, and hiding their real persona on some level. So I believe your chances of falling for people who disappoint are probably higher online. In real life, there are so many more clues about who they are from the beginning.

[xxoo]

As for my daughter gift, she was just thinking about what she herself would appreciate. She didn't get the idea from me, I am way too manly to be bothered baking for someone. As for the reaction of her boyfriend, he sent her about a dozen text messages that afternoon and evening thanking her for the gift. So at least he the short term he appreciated it. I wonder if her problem is boys today being too damn lazy, literally not motivated to do anything.

 

Why does your daughter have a problem?

 

I don't mean the reason for her problem. I mean, why are you convinced there is a problem? They are teenagers acting like teenagers. Downplay the importance of boys at this stage, as these issues will solve themselves with time unless she develops an complex about it (adopting your beliefs about men).

[stillafool]

 

 

Part of her problem is she still wants friends her own age. She would love a close female friend, or many. But her circumstance is she doesn't share things in common with most girls, and she is having a damned hard time finding girls that both share her interest and are willing to invest in a close friendship. Likewise she has lots in common with guys, but they can't seem to be happy seeing her as just a friend. She feels incredibly lonely and isolated.

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

I think I would be more concerned that your daughter cannot find female friends and thinks she only shares interest with boys and they are the only ones she can have a close relationship with. There are many girls who do all sorts of activities that are fun. What interests does your daughter have that she thinks no other girls would be interested in sharing? Young boys are interested in sex and are at the age where they are exploring and to be honest this is what they should be doing at their age. Your daughter shouldn't worry about losing her virginity at this point as that will happen when she meets the right boy and they both fall in love. I agree with others who have said her focus should be on her education and career at this point. She should go out with boys but not put out.

 

As far as you are concerned because you are a grown woman only have sex with a man because it is something you want and not because you have expectations of a relationship. If you have a need then satisfy it. If it's love you are looking for be up front with the man before you jump into bed with him. Let him know before sex that you are looking for a relationship not just sex.

[joystickd]

No but this would be one of the origins of why they are jerks

[Shepp]

"All guys" aren't any one thing. Nor are all females any one thing.

Amen to that!

 

I dunno why this thread is getting the time of day, I dunno why I'm giving it the time of day, just because it rubs me up the wrong way I guess!

If a guy started a thread entitled "all women are sluts" it'd be called sexism! I'm sure OP wouldn't be too chuffed about a guy saying not only is she that but so is her daughter, her mother, her sister, her best friend.

 

Say your boyfriends a jerk all you want, say your daughters boyfriend or friend or whatever is a jerk. But that's not what your saying - your saying i'm a jerk - well go to hell on that cause you've never even met me. And worse than that which is one thing, your saying it about my brother, my best mate, my dad, my great granddad, my two little 1 day old baby boys and I don't like people making broad sweeping statements about the people I love. And for the record your also saying it about all the soldiers giving laying down their lives for your and your daughters freedom, about the little old guy who lives down my road who just renewed his wedding vows to his wife of 75 years, about the 100's of guys in the world who've stood up for someone else.

 

And even taking all that out of it - its such a stupid proposal that "all guys" could be anything

 

 

Maybe this is blunt but it is what it is..your going on about the trouble your having with guys - well im a guy, and I would go within 10ft of a relationship with a lass who makes a statement like the one in the title of this thread.

[Woggle]

I have noticed that the kind of women who think all men are jerks or all men are scum usually are deep down only attracted to men like that. Many times they run when a man isn't like that.

 

I don't think you can say all men or all women are anything. If you see things that way your point of view is warped.

 

Yes I realize for a long time I had a warped viewpoint myself.

[happydate]

Tatiana22,

 

Here's a little wisdom..

 

A relationship is more of an assignment than a choice. We can walk away from the assignment, but we can not walk away from the lessons it presents. We stay with a relationship until a lesson is learned, or we simply learn it another way.

 

Please stop blaming other people, especially men, for your unhappiness and despair as well as your daughter's failings. Both of you are attracted to these men because you both have some lessons to learn to correct some distorted views of life and with people around you. That is why you are continually drawn to these men. Unless both of you resolve the lessons and heal and change, you can kiss a 100 or 1000 frogs and none of them will turn into the prince of your dreams. Living a life is about personal development and growth and relationships come into your life to hopefully help you realize the pain and change. Too many people, men and women RUN AWAY from the lessons seemingly to believe that just running away and dating another person hoping this one will be it. But as they realize, they leave one bad relationship because a guy is a jerk only to land into another bad one with another jerk.

 

Sometimes that in the process of change, you have to be willing to leave your old friends behind or they may already have left you. Basically you have to move forward and when you trust you can do it and change will happen. You will notice, a someone else had put it correctly, that your new friends will be different than your older ones. And when you meet new men, they will act and behave differently than your previous male friends.

 

Basically what I am saying is this. Don't expect others to change for you, because you can not control their minds. But you can always change yourself and be a better confident person. The people who you then attract will be of similar trait and character. This is an ongoing process of assignments and lessons that you learn until you achieve a level of graduation whereby, you will feel confident, happy and at ease being by yourself as well as with your future partner as he will be the same as you are.

 

By the way.. I started out being a nice guy and worked on myself to improve myself and along the way, I keep attracting different type of girls but as you change so do the girls who date me! More quality, more care and more happiness because they are a reflection of who I am!

 

All the best for you and your daughter!!

[Nyla]

Her social life sounds pretty normal to me--not really anything to be concerned about. It's normal for boys around that age to be aloof about relationships. While some men never mature, most of these boys will mature over the next 5 years or so and be more relationship minded. You should encourage her to wait for someone special, but not worry about it. Focus on her studies.

 

If you compare her relationships to yours, you may project issues onto her that don't really exist. It could create issues for her. Men you date should be very different from the boys she dates.

 

My mother projected her issues with my father's infidelity to me. She had me thinking that all men were jerks by the time I was 13.

 

I had a very special first boyfriend when I was 17-18. I lost my virginity to him after a year of dating and grieving over the death of his little brother. This sweet boy waited until I could date him because when I met him at 17, my stupid parents wouldn't let me date him until I was 18. We saw each other on the sly for a year. He proposed to me but declined since we were kids.

 

I realize that my teenage love story is the exception and not the rule.

[Nyla]

I have noticed that the kind of women who think all men are jerks or all men are scum usually are deep down only attracted to men like that. Many times they run when a man isn't like that.

 

I don't think you can say all men or all women are anything. If you see things that way your point of view is warped.

 

Yes I realize for a long time I had a warped viewpoint myself.

 

I never ran away from good men. However, I did let some jerks stay in my life for longer than I should have. This did not change until I raised my self esteem and became confident about what I was looking for.

 

My view is warped by growing up seeing selfish and unfaithful men. It is also skewed by being with older men who took advantage of how naïve I was. My husband is helping me see that there are some good men out there.

[Woggle]

I never ran away from good men. However, I did let some jerks stay in my life for longer than I should have. This did not change until I raised my self esteem and became confident about what I was looking for.

 

My view is warped by growing up seeing selfish and unfaithful men. It is also skewed by being with older men who took advantage of how naïve I was. My husband is helping me see that there are some good men out there.

 

Not all but some people just to complain about things no matter what and complaining that all men are jerks is an example of that. From what I have experienced most times those who complain that all of the opposite sex is one way is really mad at themselves for being attracted to those types.