Mario79 Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 I know some posters might have been seen other posts from me, where I have been sad and having problems dealing with my ex, who I asked me to back off and not contact her and that she was going to marry a person from work. I had tough week with work and news that my best friend who is out of country and now will now not come back but quit just hit me hard. I decided to go to a movie with my little brother. In the middle of the movie I got a call from my ex, she said she called me by mistake, since I was in a movie rejected the call and I realized who it was, I went out to the hall and I got a message saying I called by mistake, and I said Im here, but then message back, I understand. She then said she saw some drawings I did of her eyes, and then asked me if we could talk. So we talked about how things were, and I was so happy, but I was so emotional, and I feel as though I overstayed my welcome and seemed weak. I just loved hearing her. But now I am just disconcerted, this was so unexpected and I am very confused and have to assume this might have been a mistake from her part. She didn't contact me again after that. So I flew high and then hit the ground. I don't know what it means.
hurts2death Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 it means she eased her guilt got an ego boost and you lost many levels of healing... please do nc... just my thought. -john 1
Salvatore85 Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 How do you "accidentally" call someone you haven't contacted in a while? I mean you wouldn't be at the top of her recent contacts list or anything. I just don't see how it happens in all honesty... 2
loveofhorses1970 Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 She called on purpose, not accidentally. Breadcrumbs. Go back to NC. It's hard, but worth it. Don't look back.
Harri74 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Hi Mario, It seems to me as if she called you to see if you were 'relationship material'. You said you got emotional. Women dont particularly like very emotional men (i am one) so maybe if you are interested in her, give her a call back asking for a date and show her that you can be a gentleman. Just my two penneth. Good luck.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 It doesn't mean much of anything unfortunately. 3
Fufu Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 I know some posters might have been seen other posts from me, where I have been sad and having problems dealing with my ex, who I asked me to back off and not contact her and that she was going to marry a person from work. I had tough week with work and news that my best friend who is out of country and now will now not come back but quit just hit me hard. I decided to go to a movie with my little brother. In the middle of the movie I got a call from my ex, she said she called me by mistake, since I was in a movie rejected the call and I realized who it was, I went out to the hall and I got a message saying I called by mistake, and I said Im here, but then message back, I understand. She then said she saw some drawings I did of her eyes, and then asked me if we could talk. So we talked about how things were, and I was so happy, but I was so emotional, and I feel as though I overstayed my welcome and seemed weak. I just loved hearing her. But now I am just disconcerted, this was so unexpected and I am very confused and have to assume this might have been a mistake from her part. She didn't contact me again after that. So I flew high and then hit the ground. I don't know what it means. She was going to marry a person from work so calling you by mistake or not it really doesn't mean much. I really think you should cease all sorts of communication from her. I know it seriously hurts but in long term you will be thankful that you choose to do this. 1
cavalier99 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 So I flew high and then hit the ground. I don't know what it means. I know what it means. You broke NC and now it sucks again. Sorry man. This is why we have to stay strong and never break NC until indifferent. It is to dangerous. You need to stick to NC like a religous fanatic. Im serious. IT is the ONLY way out of the misery. Anyway it has happened to many of us and youll be fine. Just take it as a BIG BIG lesson learned. NEVER EVER EVER EVER Break NC UNTIL 100000% Indifferent. Is it tough.? Sure. Will your mind play tricks on you? Yes. Will you want to reach out or answer that call? Of course. But i can guarantee if you stay strong it will get better and eventually end and youll be back to normal..in fact youll come out of this stronger and wiser. Rock on! Cav 1
barky2 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Things aren't going well with the other dude, she called you as a "pick me up" Make her feel better about herself To see if you would Answer Still on the hook. Now she knows she's still got you. When they know they got you, they want nothing to do with you. When they don't have you, they'll (sometimes) do everything. You should have ignored the crap out of it and made her head spin. It's ok, not your fault, but now you know for next time. Barky 5
Author Mario79 Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Thank you for all the responses. Many are what I kinda knew already. Just hearing her makes all kinds of emotions stir in me. I realize it was not accident and she wanted to know how I was. I wanted it to mean what I wanted it to mean, but nothing changed after the call so it doesn't really mean anything. She does know I still am in love with her, I think of how could I have handled it differently but I just don't see it. I have kept no contact again. I dont see any other way of managing. I wish I could do as you say Harri but I already offered her marriage and she said no, think she would refuse a date as well. Thank you all for your comments they made me feel not lonely.
faithfully Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Thank you for all the responses. Many are what I kinda knew already. Just hearing her makes all kinds of emotions stir in me. I realize it was not accident and she wanted to know how I was. I wanted it to mean what I wanted it to mean, but nothing changed after the call so it doesn't really mean anything. She does know I still am in love with her, I think of how could I have handled it differently but I just don't see it. I have kept no contact again. I dont see any other way of managing. I wish I could do as you say Harri but I already offered her marriage and she said no, think she would refuse a date as well. Thank you all for your comments they made me feel not lonely. Looks like you really do have to let her go. Its causing you misery like you keep saying so why do you keep doing it to yourself?? Dont think you should ask her on a date at all, bad bad idea!!! Seems like its done and you need to move on. I know you might love this girl but telling her is also a bad idea. Women hate weak men. I would know am a woman. Its hard but you have to be strong and stay NC. I am on day 9 and i can tell you ive not once thought of him today. As the day goes on it will get easier
headinthecloud Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Take the experience as a learning and move forward. It's hard to accept that she doesnt really love you but the sooner you realize this the faster you will be able to move on and find someone deserving of your generous soul. It will take time, but be strong. In a few months you'll be a different person completely as long as you work on yourself.
Author Mario79 Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 I am making the decision to let her go, but my logic does not match my actions or my feelings that remain so strong in me. Right now I am not even considering someone else, I tried going out with someone and it was difficult, I couldnt enjoy it. I also just like thinking of her but it also hurts. I am trying though. I am grateful that I still a lot of blessings in my life. I just really wish these feelings would just stop.
aliveagain Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 His poop is starting to stink but don't get your hopes up. Put her out of your mind so you can meet the woman that is supposed to be in your life. That will never happen if she thinks your hung up on an ex. It's a new world out there, get rid of the anchor that's holding you in the past.
Author Mario79 Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 That was funny. Thank AliveAgain. I am 34 and yet I feel my maturity in this experience is that of a teenager. Nothing has hit me as hard as this has, where I see we all experience things differently and the value given to these situations only becomes clear when confronted with it. I would say that it hit me so hard because it has been not only my ex leaving but having to confront many other unresolved issues. It was going to happen. Thank you all for your support and experiences. I appreciate them.
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