purplesoccer34 Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 I went on a date with this guy who has it all--looks, intelligence, personality, and he had a lot of cool stories to tell. I met him only once, but I wasn't really attracted to him. Is this a bad sign, or can attraction develop over time, as I continue to meet him more often? 1
Weezy1973 Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 I have found that attraction can develop over time, but it has never happened for me with someone that I don't know in my day-to-day life first. It has happened for me many times with women that I've gone to school with or have worked with - people I thought were kind of 'meh' on first meet, but as I got to know their personalities more they became more and more attractive to me. Women that I wasn't attracted to on a first date (say through online dating) never became attractive to me over time. That might be due to me not giving it a chance; I suspect that attraction can grow for people that are willing to give it a chance. Although, of course, there are never any guarantees.
d0nnivain Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 It rarely works that way for me but many people find that their attraction deepens over time. If you are not sure, I wouldn't write somebody off this fast,
nepo Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 Perhaps follow up with a few more dates making every effort not to be too misleading. Sometimes a first date isn't the greatest gauge for attraction. Nerves get in the way, instead of REALLY listening you are worried if something is in between your teeth or if you're drooling or something. Perhaps the date was not a setting where one or both of you were in your element and you need to experience something different to see the real person or to be comfortable enough to pay the attention needed. If after a few different dates you still have a meh feeling then move on. Just mix things up a little and experience each other in different settings first. If dinner wasn't great try something fun or laid back etc.
henderson14 Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 Check out this thread that was just posted. #60 I asked the same thing. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/435110-unexpected-sex-apartment-neighbor-awkward
todreaminblue Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 I went on a date with this guy who has it all--looks, intelligence, personality, and he had a lot of cool stories to tell. I met him only once, but I wasn't really attracted to him. Is this a bad sign, or can attraction develop over time, as I continue to meet him more often? yes it can develop, to give people chances is to get to know them ,you see more every time you give that chance for emotions to develop........you have to make sure that there is something there in the first place and if you look hard enough there normally is......in every single person alive......some are right for you some are not you have to know also...never judge a book by its cover some times the most battle weary pages well worn are that way ...because the stories in them are amazing ...life changing for you to know.....so......i wish you all the best in finding what you love to read...might not be the inside cover blurb but it is probably always what is inside that you need to see before discarding the book...best wishes...deb 1
KatZee Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 If you're not attracted to ANYTHING about him and not attracted to him AT ALL, then chances are you're not going to find him attractive as time goes on. Attraction can and does grow when you become closer to someone and you become emotionally and mentally attached/connected, however there needs to be at least SOME attraction from the get go. There has to be at least one thing you find attractive about a person. Their smile, eyes, body... SOMETHING. In that case, over time the attraction would grow, and instead of just liking the smile or eyes, you'd come to find the whole package attractive. But if you feel nothing, and see nothing you like at all? Most likely you won't find him attractive as time goes on. I once dated a guy I didn't find attractive at all. I figured I'd give him a chance and not base things off attraction. Well, I never grew to find him attractive. If anything I grew more uninterested and started really resenting him. If he tried to kiss me, I'd push him away or I'd turn my head. I learned to never stay with someone I didn't find attractive, it's not fair to either person. 1
ponchsox Posted November 2, 2013 Posted November 2, 2013 If I don't feel it right away, I doubt it ever will.
darkmoon Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 are we discussing getting to being actually turned on by them - or are we discussing not minding their appearance too much?
phineas Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Don't force it. Give they guy a few dates then cut the cord if you aren't feeling it. There is nothing worse than a woman on the fence leading a guy on hoping she'll become attracted. If the guy doesn't notice you aren't into him all that much it's a disaster waiting to happen. 1
Author purplesoccer34 Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 darkmoon- I guess I'm talking about actually being turned on by him. If I'm not exactly turned on now, is it possible that I will be once I get to know him better?
Mediocreatitsworst Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 Yes it can! I don't think I've ever been totally into a someone when we first went out except for like once. Other than that they grew on me...some of the greatest people I've met grew on me. It wasn't an immediate thing
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