Much older jealous friend, worried about the safety of the girl I'm seeing.

[MercuryMorrison1]

Hey everyone, wasn't really sure where to post this one...So if the mods need to move it then feel free to.

 

This is a little bit of an extensive read, but I like to be detailed in these kinds of things as to give out the best understanding possible.

 

I've been seeing this girl (we'll call her Amy) for a couple of months now. So far she's been amazing and this thread isn't really about her...Its about a friend (That we'll call Sarah) I've had for many years.

 

Little back story. A few years ago I met Sarah through a job we were both working at the time. She seemed nice and interesting a little off...But nothing I ever viewed as a red flag. Her and I became friends who would occasionally do things together...Hit up a bar or whatever. I'll say it here and now, I never viewed her in a sexual manner...She's about the same as my mother, (Mid 40s) and though I liked her as a friend the thought of sex or anything of the like never crossed my mind with her.

 

Well, I've maintained light and somewhat distant contact with her over the years, however today she text'd me and asked how I was doing...I told her I had a somewhat rotten day, normally this is something Amy would handle, she's great at making the best of a bad situation and is one of the many things I love about her, but she was still at work and after telling Sarah about my rotten day, she suggested that we get together and hash it out over a cup of coffee at her place.

 

At this point I figured what the hell, Amy's working late tonight and I don't have anything else going on...Let it be known at this point that I personally had never sensed any attraction from Sarah towards me, and as a matter of the fact Sarah is seeing someone right now, so I saw this suggestion as nothing more than two friends getting together to catch up.

 

Well, I went to Sarah's place and she made some coffee and we talked for a few minutes...Nothing of any consequence...Just bull****. At this point I am sitting on a love seat in the middle of her living room and she's sitting on a bar stool that's by the center island in the kitchen, Sarah gets up and walks over to the love seat and sits beside me...I could read her body language I knew that something was different now...The way she was looking at me and talking to me was very indicative of her attraction to me.

 

At this point she totally fessed up and admitted her attraction to me...By now she started leaning close to me, and she told me that sex is a great stress reliever, and then she started trying to kiss my neck...At this point I sat my coffee down and got up...I told her that we can't do this and that I was seeing someone...She paused as soon as I said I was seeing someone, and she asked (Who is she?)...I told her that given the circumstance's right now I didn't exactly feel comfortable disclosing any more information.

 

I then asked her about the guy she was seeing, to which she informed me that they have an ''open relationship'', her words exactly were...''He does his thing and I do mine, he won't mind if you and I screw, and your little girlfriend doesn't have to know about it.'' I was now fairly pissed off at how blatantly she was disrespecting me and Amy. I simply told her that we are done here, and I left...But not before I got an ear full from her...She called me a chicken $hit mother phu*er before I managed to get out the door.

 

Anyway, I got back home, as I was awaiting Amy to get home from work, Sarah called me and I answered, she explained to me that she's bi-polar and said that she was sorry for calling me names...I told her I didn't care what she called me, but I was not happy with her for being disrespectful towards the relationship I now have with someone else. She told me to go phu*k myself and I hung up on her.

 

Amy arrived shortly afterward and I told her the whole the story, she was not happy and wanted to go confront Sarah on her action's, however I convinced her that this was better left alone for now.

 

Things are fine between Amy and I...We talked about it and she's not the least bit upset with me and seems to fully understand what went down, Amy and I even had sex tonight, almost as if in spite of Sarah pulling the crap she did.

 

My main concern at this point is Amy's safety. Sarah has always been sporadic and act's on impulse, and now that I know she's bi-polar, I fear that she might wind up stalking and possibly attempt to hurt Amy. I could see the fury in Sarah's face when I told her that I was seeing someone now, and that's what worries me.

 

Seeing as Amy and I both have separate job's I can't always be there with her, and I don't think I can report Sarah to the police for anything as of right now, since she hasn't done anything but insult me personally.

 

What do you guys think is the best thing to do here? Should we go ahead and file a restraining order on her?

 

Thanks for reading and any helpful advice in advance.

Edited November 2, 2013 by MercuryMorrison1

[AShogunNamedMarcus]

That Sarah is a manipulative one. She called you afterwards expecting you to forgive her if she just sweet talked you. You rejected that and she lashed out again.

 

It could be bi-polar, but I'd be worried about borderline, Narcissism, psychopathy, or even AvPD.

 

Give her nothing. Do not throw her a bone. Ignore completely.

[devilish innocent]

I can understand why you'd be nervous for Amy's sake. I also agree with you don't have enough to report Sarah to the police right now. They wouldn't be able to get involved just based on what's evidence.

 

My advice would be to avoid Sarah completely from this point on. If you have her set up as a friend on any social networking sites than make sure you block her.

 

Hopefully, Sarah will calm down and realize she needs to move on. If you catch her stalking you or threatening or hurting Amy later, then you should go to the police at that point. At the moment, Sarah doesn't even know anything about Amy so there's a good chance she'll leave her alone.

[gaius]

I hate to break it to you but Sarah is probably already figuring out who the next guy she's gonna try to screw is, not busy stalking your girlfriend because you're just so important to have. Guys and their egos.

[StanMusial]

I hate to break it to you but Sarah is probably already figuring out who the next guy she's gonna try to screw is, not busy stalking your girlfriend because you're just so important to have. Guys and their egos.

 

Pretty much this. According to your post, your gf was the one who wanted a confrontation with Miss Crazy - there was no indication Miss Crazy was going to attack your gf. Don't ever talk to Miss Crazy again, she's bad news, and tell gf it was just some lady you knew from work and now you know her true colors you're done with her.

 

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, this we know. She will get over it.

 

Don't come back on here with some "So I decided to talk to Miss Crazy about what happened..." BS either.

[MercuryMorrison1]

I hate to break it to you but Sarah is probably already figuring out who the next guy she's gonna try to screw is, not busy stalking your girlfriend because you're just so important to have. Guys and their egos.

 

I love that this is your response, apparently my ''ego'' or better known as my instinct in this situation seeing as I know this person and you do not, was correct!

 

Amy left work today to find her tires slashed on her car and her windshield busted, and a threatening letter tacked to her windshield. So AT LEAST we can file for property damage and harassment now, and this also proves that Sarah has been watching us or Amy at least, seeing as up until sometime yesterday or this morning Sarah didn't even know what Amy looked like, much less drove so apparently Sarah scoped out our place and found what Amy drive's and what she looks like as she made clear in the letter.

 

This has nothing to do with my ego dude...This woman (Sarah) has mental issues...Self admitted mental issues, After seeing her re-action to just finding out I was in a relationship was enough to raise alarm for me.

 

My main concern right now is Amy's safety...So if you're going to come here and make presumptuous and childish responses that relate in now whatsoever to the topic at hand, then please take your business elsewhere, I am genuinely asking nicely, because I don't have time to deal with bull$hit right now...I need real advice and responses, and if you can't provide such then please remove yourself from this thread.

Edited November 2, 2013 by MercuryMorrison1

[MercuryMorrison1]

I can understand why you'd be nervous for Amy's sake. I also agree with you don't have enough to report Sarah to the police right now. They wouldn't be able to get involved just based on what's evidence.

 

My advice would be to avoid Sarah completely from this point on. If you have her set up as a friend on any social networking sites than make sure you block her.

 

Hopefully, Sarah will calm down and realize she needs to move on. If you catch her stalking you or threatening or hurting Amy later, then you should go to the police at that point. At the moment, Sarah doesn't even know anything about Amy so there's a good chance she'll leave her alone.

 

Well unfortunately it appears that Sarah does know now what Amy looks like.

 

 

There's not going to be any contact with Sarah after this...The bitch and jump off a bridge for all I care now. I'm done with her, and I don't tolerate people like her period.

[AShogunNamedMarcus]

Well unfortunately it appears that Sarah does know now what Amy looks like.

 

 

There's not going to be any contact with Sarah after this...The bitch and jump off a bridge for all I care now. I'm done with her, and I don't tolerate people like her period.

 

 

Don't underestimate the seriousness of someone who is willing to cause damage.

 

I hope you called the police and they came to look at your GFs car. And, you told them about Sarah right?

 

You can not contact Sarah, or acknowledge her existence. She wants a reaction from you so she can continue to disrupt your life. Give her nothing.

 

They say there's only one way to win against a psychopath. That is to not play their game.

[MercuryMorrison1]

Don't underestimate the seriousness of someone who is willing to cause damage.

 

I hope you called the police and they came to look at your GFs car. And, you told them about Sarah right?

 

You can not contact Sarah, or acknowledge her existence. She wants a reaction from you so she can continue to disrupt your life. Give her nothing.

 

They say there's only one way to win against a psychopath. That is to not play their game.

 

Thanks for responding.

 

And yes all contact with Sarah is officially severed and we did report her to the police and we are going to press chargers for harassment and property damage as well as get a restraining order. She'll get no response from me personally.

[AShogunNamedMarcus]

Thanks for responding.

 

And yes all contact with Sarah is officially severed and we did report her to the police and we are going to press chargers for harassment and property damage as well as get a restraining order. She'll get no response from me personally.

 

Please make sure your GF knows to not ever confront her. You said her first reaction was to give her a piece of her mind. That would have gone very bad.

[MercuryMorrison1]

Please make sure your GF knows to not ever confront her. You said her first reaction was to give her a piece of her mind. That would have gone very bad.

 

Yeah I've been stressing to her that she cannot confront Sarah, at first she was very angry about the way Sarah behaved and it didn't help that Sarah trashed her car, however at this point Amy seems to be willing to just put it all behind us.