isabeli Posted December 14, 2004 Posted December 14, 2004 XOW, just offered a job where my XMM's wife works. Should I take it? It would be impossible to avoid her. (BTW--She doesn't know about us.)
Debster Posted December 14, 2004 Posted December 14, 2004 First you bang her husband - and bring potential crisis and heartbreak to her family life if she found out- and then you want to work in the same office as her - possibly ruining her professional career if she found out. Heck, why don't you just start being her friend too - and then affect her friendships! It may just be a coincidence - but it is a little too close for comfort. Part of me thinks that, in some wierd way - you want to be her. I could be wrong, but either way, this is a self-destructive path.
SoleMate Posted December 14, 2004 Posted December 14, 2004 Definitely avoid this job if at all possible. But if you have to put food on the table and pay the rent, and this is the ONLY REALISTIC WAY, then go ahead and be prepared for a lot of discomfort and awkward feelings.
Soon2bsngl Posted December 14, 2004 Posted December 14, 2004 SO then you applied for this job KNOWING before hand that she worked there? I mean you would have had to applied for the job or inquired about it in some way. They didn't just pick your name out of the phone book and call you out of the blue to offer you the job, right? Why would you want to put yourself in that kind of position? Is this your way of making sure you still know what is going on in his/their lives?
isabeli Posted December 14, 2004 Posted December 14, 2004 No, I didn't apply--I worked there before (it's a restaurant). I was in the other night, and they asked me to come back as they need servers. I don't have a job now, and have been looking for a while. I really don't want to work there, but I also don't have an other offers. I'm trying NOT to be selfish for once concerning this relationship, and that's why I'm asking. As for keeping tabs on their relationship...I have no interest in that. I don't want any part of him, and I know that if I worked there I would be reminded everyday of him, their life, and what I did. I'm aware this is not the ideal situation. But I also have $30 in my checking account. I just go back and forth.
Sky Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 I think you should take the job. Firstly -- you need it but also because sometimes life thows you up opportunites for a reason. You said it's going to be difficult and awkward and I understand that. But you might also learn something from the experience. Personally would have liked to have met or known my xMM's wife because even though it would have been confronting, it would have been good for me to really know that she was a real person cause sometimes it was easy to forget. He mostly never spoke about her. Anyway -- what's the worst that can happen. You find it difficult and find a new job somewhere else when something comes up or you're less desperate financially...???
Debster Posted December 15, 2004 Posted December 15, 2004 I don't know where you live, but surely there must be tons of restaurants looking for staff. In my area, there are help wanted signs in tons of restaurants. I think you have another reason why you want to take this job - and that other reason is the wife of the man you were sleeping with. I think you are either curious about her or vindictive. I think it will be an awful situation for the both of you. Anyway -- what's the worst that can happen. Just off the top of my head, I would say that she could realize that everything her MM said to her were lies and she could be devastated and emotionally ripped apart. Or maybe the wife will clue in and make both her life anad her husband's life hell. Tons of horrible things could happen. I don't buy your story, sorry.
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