Feel pathetic and stupid

[alexjames]

My girlfriend left me a month back now. I'm 21 and she is 19. She was the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on, I could never believe the fact I was with her! The trouble is, when we went out together clubbing, she would have all the guys all over her and she would dance with them constantly, getting very close to them, grinding with them, going off to dance and talk with them etc. The last time we were out, I was with my mates and she was with hers. We bumped into each other and only spent a few minutes together before she went off, and was acting single (like normal when she went out!) around the guys. Not kissing them, but getting very close. But 4 hours after this instance, we fought over text and she ended it.

I am still really cut up though, I liked her so much and keep thinking of her. I am going back to that same club Tomorrow night for the first time since, and am dreading seeing her out with guys all over her! The trouble is, we were only together 2 months! I feel pathetic for having these feelings a month later! Is this normal?

[Mr Scorpio]

Yes, it is normal. However, as I opined before, you are better off without this woman. An attractive, young woman who enjoys grinding up against attractive, young men in clubs? Do you want to be looking over your shoulder night after night after night?

[Reels]

Obviously it's normal, happens to probably everyone.

[lakerman34]

Think of it in a positive light.

 

You are SUPER young. 21 is still a kid. I'm 23 and still a kid. I just, pretty much, got dumped by a 21 year old lady. In the end, we are all kids, we are all stupid.

 

What I'm saying is, she's ONLY 19. You're ONLY 21. You haven't even BEGUN dating yet. Before you know it, another girl is going to come into your life that is going to be a thousand times better for you than this girl. Trust me. Every girl that comes in my life is an improvement over the last. It's just how it works out.

 

Also, if you read Doc Love stuff from Men's Health, he makes it a point that if your girl is extremely beautiful, EVERY guy in the WORLD is after her.

 

The especially beautiful girls are my one night stand girls. I can't afford, financially or emotionally, to have them as relationship girls. They constantly get hit on, know their worth, and tend to be more of "the trophy wives" who marry the highest bidder. If I constantly got attention from every woman in the world, I'd pick the hottest one. It's how we work.

 

Don't sweat this one, man. This really does happen to everyone. Even still, I meet a girl and fall for her pretty hard short-term. You just have to realize it happens, and move on quickly.

 

Since it was such a short time with this girl, rebound. My best advice. Find a girl that wants your boner inside of her.

 

Stay off the bottle and stay away from prostitutes.

 

Actually, prostitutes wouldn't be an awful idea...

[Lost_Dragon]

Think of it in a positive light.

 

You are SUPER young. 21 is still a kid. I'm 23 and still a kid. I just, pretty much, got dumped by a 21 year old lady. In the end, we are all kids, we are all stupid.

 

What I'm saying is, she's ONLY 19. You're ONLY 21. You haven't even BEGUN dating yet. Before you know it, another girl is going to come into your life that is going to be a thousand times better for you than this girl. Trust me. Every girl that comes in my life is an improvement over the last. It's just how it works out.

 

Also, if you read Doc Love stuff from Men's Health, he makes it a point that if your girl is extremely beautiful, EVERY guy in the WORLD is after her.

 

The especially beautiful girls are my one night stand girls. I can't afford, financially or emotionally, to have them as relationship girls. They constantly get hit on, know their worth, and tend to be more of "the trophy wives" who marry the highest bidder. If I constantly got attention from every woman in the world, I'd pick the hottest one. It's how we work.

 

Don't sweat this one, man. This really does happen to everyone. Even still, I meet a girl and fall for her pretty hard short-term. You just have to realize it happens, and move on quickly.

 

Since it was such a short time with this girl, rebound. My best advice. Find a girl that wants your boner inside of her.

 

Stay off the bottle and stay away from prostitutes.

 

Actually, prostitutes wouldn't be an awful idea...

You are giving bad advice. Prostitutes? Really?

 

Every girl after the last is not always better.

 

Just because someone is good looking doesn't mean they will go with the most attractive.

 

Clubs, bars etc.. Are not the best place to pick up people. To me they are for people who are desperate or not looking for anything serious.

 

Keep your head up! Don't go with someone just because they will sleep with you. Nothing wrong with casual sex but usually, (My own experience) I passed up on girls who I had better connections with (More than sexual) because I was getting easy sex. That just caused me to look like a smut and not worth any time to better matches.

 

Live fast and you die fast. Metaphorically speaking.

 

I find intelligence and self-worth to be far more attractive than physical appearance.

 

The way you are pining after this girl is exactly what she wants from every guy.

Cut the cord and move on.

 

The ability to break hearts is one thing.

Finding pleasure in doing it is just sick.

[lakerman34]

You are giving bad advice. Prostitutes? Really?

 

Every girl after the last is not always better.

 

Just because someone is good looking doesn't mean they will go with the most attractive.

 

Clubs, bars etc.. Are not the best place to pick up people. To me they are for people who are desperate or not looking for anything serious.

 

Keep your head up! Don't go with someone just because they will sleep with you. Nothing wrong with casual sex but usually, (My own experience) I passed up on girls who I had better connections with (More than sexual) because I was getting easy sex. That just caused me to look like a smut and not worth any time to better matches.

 

Live fast and you die fast. Metaphorically speaking.

 

I find intelligence and self-worth to be far more attractive than physical appearance.

 

The way you are pining after this girl is exactly what she wants from every guy.

Cut the cord and move on.

 

The ability to break hearts is one thing.

Finding pleasure in doing it is just sick.

 

1) A joke, sir (about the prostitutes). I thought that was pretty clear.

2) He's 21. He shouldn't be looking for the "love of his life." Clearly, he's troubled by having this girl leave him, getting under another one may, indeed, make him feel better.

 

I, too, prefer brains over physical attractiveness. I have a 145 IQ, the girl I was with last had an IQ in the 150s. I have a sense that she and I didn't work out because I wasn't "smart enough for her."

 

My advice is good, man. I was in your shoes not too long ago. Usually, after LONG TERM relationships, getting under another girl will make you feel miserable. I think, in this case, it will help you realize your self-worth, make you feel like a million bucks, and you'll be a step closer to getting over her and finding a girl that TRULY cares about you.

 

Also, if every girl that you are in a relationship with isn't an improvement over the last, you're doing it wrong. Seems to me like Lost_Dragon is, indeed, lost.

[AnyaNova]

1) A joke, sir (about the prostitutes). I thought that was pretty clear.

2) He's 21. He shouldn't be looking for the "love of his life." Clearly, he's troubled by having this girl leave him, getting under another one may, indeed, make him feel better.

 

I, too, prefer brains over physical attractiveness. I have a 145 IQ, the girl I was with last had an IQ in the 150s. I have a sense that she and I didn't work out because I wasn't "smart enough for her."

 

My advice is good, man. I was in your shoes not too long ago. Usually, after LONG TERM relationships, getting under another girl will make you feel miserable. I think, in this case, it will help you realize your self-worth, make you feel like a million bucks, and you'll be a step closer to getting over her and finding a girl that TRULY cares about you.

 

Also, if every girl that you are in a relationship with isn't an improvement over the last, you're doing it wrong. Seems to me like Lost_Dragon is, indeed, lost.

 

where do all of you high IQ men hang out, and I don't just mean the library, where do you all hang out where you actually might approach a woman? :-p

 

I think, to some degree, all of us here have felt that at a time or two because we couldn't just command ourselves to be over the person.

 

But please use your mind to tell yourself that you need to get over her, to a point where you can evaluate rationally. You know you don't want someone who is that emotionally cruel, and who is that shallow.

 

By the way, judging from the sheer number of views I have had from guys in the 20-29 range (I'm 35) and even a couple of 18 or 19 year olds, which actually I find rather creepy, because they are just (no offense to the OP who is really close in age) little babies. they don't know it. but they are...

 

But my point is, is that I am becoming more certain that I am reasonably attractive, and maybe more than reasonably so. But I am not like that. I need an incredibly deep attachment with my partner to be able to really engage in touch with them. And I only do so with the one man that I am with.

 

All beautiful women are not sluts who will throw themselves at any attractive man.

 

One trick that I read about, is to try and make yourself cry about your "lost love" for 20 minutes every day. It will actually cause your brain to get mighty bored of the whole thing, mighty fast, and in the early stages allow you to maintain more emotional control during the rest of the day.

[lakerman34]

where do all of you high IQ men hang out, and I don't just mean the library, where do you all hang out where you actually might approach a woman? :-p

 

I think, to some degree, all of us here have felt that at a time or two because we couldn't just command ourselves to be over the person.

 

But please use your mind to tell yourself that you need to get over her, to a point where you can evaluate rationally. You know you don't want someone who is that emotionally cruel, and who is that shallow.

 

By the way, judging from the sheer number of views I have had from guys in the 20-29 range (I'm 35) and even a couple of 18 or 19 year olds, which actually I find rather creepy, because they are just (no offense to the OP who is really close in age) little babies. they don't know it. but they are...

 

But my point is, is that I am becoming more certain that I am reasonably attractive, and maybe more than reasonably so. But I am not like that. I need an incredibly deep attachment with my partner to be able to really engage in touch with them. And I only do so with the one man that I am with.

 

All beautiful women are not sluts who will throw themselves at any attractive man.

 

One trick that I read about, is to try and make yourself cry about your "lost love" for 20 minutes every day. It will actually cause your brain to get mighty bored of the whole thing, mighty fast, and in the early stages allow you to maintain more emotional control during the rest of the day.

 

I get away with it around drunk, college girls. I, too, am very attractive, and people tend to look at me and right away want to classify me as a "dumb jock." Come up to me, talk about string theory, and your mind will be blown. I'm a dork with muscles and a chiseled jaw. They DO exist.

 

Anyways, couldn't help but see your tip. I find that very interesting. I might try it. Just gotta go cut that onion first...

[alexjames]

The thing is, in the time we were together we NEVER done anything sexual, other than passionately kissing and the odd bit of boob rubbing/sucking ahah! She is still a virgin, and we were taking things slow, as I and her didn't want to rush into anything like that as her first time has to be special etc. So it's nothing to do with that why I feel so bad about her ending it. I just really miss talking too her, seeing her, being alone with her enjoying our company etc.