Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Honestly i feel a bit hypocritical giving you all this advice. God knows how i feel about my ex and no one in their right mind would understand why i still have feelings for him. My point is, our advice may offer you some perspective or whatever, but in the end what truly matters is what you feel. Deep down, you know? Really ask yourself whats going on and dont judge yourself. If you're absolute positive there's nothing you can do or want to do about this relationship, go ahead and tell him. Be as harsh as you can possibly be. Why am i telling you this? Because if it were me, and i was truly in love with someone - and thats the case- id rather have it the hard way. That way i get real closure and its like i have a green light to go on with my life. Not just green light, more like an obligation to MOVE past it and be gone. Thats why i asked you if you did or say something that might have been missunderstood. If you are truly over him and you're absolutely possitive you dont want him in your life ever again, tell him. Just do it and make it unmistakably clear. If that doesnt work, then you're dealing with someone whos obsessed rather than in love. He broke up with me, I couldn't or didn't want to accept that..so I bothered him to tell me what is going on, but he never responded. After numerous messages, he finally said that he is in hospital getting ready for a surgery and shouldn't get upset..In shock and worry I believed him and tried to be there for him as much as it's possible..After two days, something was telling me that this is a lie, and I turned psycho..I said everything that I could think of, the nastiest, things that you can say to a person..I was so angry..but he never responded, which made me even more mad, because I couldn't sleep, I spent my nights and days thinking about what he must be going thru, and he didn't bother saying something, so I continued..he threatened me at some point but I didn't care, I wanted to know why did he lie.. Few weeks back, I apologized and asked if we could give it another try, he rejected me, wished me all the best and asked nicely not to conntact him again. I regeret my behaviour, and I am sorry for everything that I said to him, I will never forgive myself for that..but as far as my feelings for him...NOTHING. I don't know how or why, but I don't feel anything... I can't sleep, because I am thinking about that...I am 100% sure, no feelings what so ever.. sorry for the long post.. :-)
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 I'm wondering what is it that he wants...I am really confused, because, to be honest, if it was the other way around, and someone who verbally attacked me, I wouldn't want to know that person anymore..
aybc123 Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Just out of interest, how do you know he lied about the surgery?
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Just out of interest, how do you know he lied about the surgery? 1). A person who has "brain surgery", has to have their had shaved (common sense, not knowledge) 2). Someone who is going to have a surgery, doesn't plan a gig two weeks after the supposed "brain surgery". We had a mutual "friend" who had no idea that we were together, but knows that we know each other, mentioned how good his band is doing in Germany.....but before that I had a feeling that something is not right, I just thought that my jealousy plays part of my doubts...that's why I didn't say anything
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 He has hypoxia, but so far he didn't have any major problems..
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 In one of my messages to him, I said that I doubt that he has any health issues, and that everything is a lie, it's just his sick way to get more attention..I feel really bad for saying that, among many, many other messages I sent him
Haydn Posted November 3, 2013 Posted November 3, 2013 Hi, Forget this guy! (I know i cant take my own advice) I dont know you but you seem like a wonderful, caring, loving woman, who deserves to be happy. I dont know what he thinks he playing at but its not right and its a cruel game to keep your hopes hanging. Take it away from him! Dont be his rock! Zoe you can move on or at least start to. (I am trying every day). Take care and keep posting. Haydn
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 3, 2013 Author Posted November 3, 2013 Hi, Forget this guy! (I know i cant take my own advice) I dont know you but you seem like a wonderful, caring, loving woman, who deserves to be happy. I dont know what he thinks he playing at but its not right and its a cruel game to keep your hopes hanging. Take it away from him! Dont be his rock! Zoe you can move on or at least start to. (I am trying every day). Take care and keep posting. Haydn Thank you Haydn, I have no other intentions but to stick with my decision to stay away, as he requested.
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 he is with his previous gf, and he is also contacting me...I got an email from his different account. He says he needs to talk to me.
Zahara Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 If I were you I would tell him that things are over and that you would like for the both of you to move. Tell him to please leave you alone and respect your need for no contact. I am wondering if your silence is what's giving him some warped sense of hope that he may just be able to make you open up and come his way. 1
seekingpeaceinlove Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 I think you should send him one final email to tell him that it's over and to stop contacting you. I almost think that you don't want to say these words because you're not ready to end things with him for good. You've stated in your posts that you've moved on but then the next post you are saying that you're afraid to engage in conversation with him because you may get sucked back in... If you are ready to end this and you are done...SAY IT. To him. Say it clearly. Then block and move on. 2
Zahara Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 You've stated in your posts that you've moved on but then the next post you are saying that you're afraid to engage in conversation with him because you may get sucked back in... I agree. OP, I don't think you are ready to shut the door.
Author Zoe Lilith Posted November 4, 2013 Author Posted November 4, 2013 I agree. OP, I don't think you are ready to shut the door. As far as my feelings are concerned, I have none.. I wasted some time thinking about it and - no..I feel alright, better than alright..but if he starts talking about his illness or problems..i don't know, I feel sorry for him, and staying "in touch" because I feel sorry for him, is not the right thing. I know I am a complete idiot when it comes to emotios, I feel sorry for everybody who is "suffering" or in any sort of trouble...He wanted an end, I am sure he is not going to ask me again to reconcile, since he is back with his ex..I simply don't want to be a part of this, and don't have any romatic feelings for him..
Zahara Posted November 4, 2013 Posted November 4, 2013 As far as my feelings are concerned, I have none.. I wasted some time thinking about it and - no..I feel alright, better than alright..but if he starts talking about his illness or problems..i don't know, I feel sorry for him, and staying "in touch" because I feel sorry for him, is not the right thing. I know I am a complete idiot when it comes to emotios, I feel sorry for everybody who is "suffering" or in any sort of trouble...He wanted an end, I am sure he is not going to ask me again to reconcile, since he is back with his ex..I simply don't want to be a part of this, and don't have any romatic feelings for him.. If you have no feelings and would like to move on, tell him to stop contacting you and move on. His illness or problems are not your concern anymore. The day he told you he didn't have any feelings for you and didn't want you anymore, is the day he forfeited having you in his life as a shoulder to lean on. Besides, when he so coldly let you go, did he think of your feelings? Nope. Stop feeling sorry for people that hurt you. It will only be cause to hurt you even more. 1
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